The Den - What Snots transcript

Host: ...Snots?
Amy: Yeah.
H: Brilliant. Well listen, the computer mumbled all the names together and - Amy! - you come up first, ask Snotser a question.
A: Erm, is it a person?
S: No, it's not a person, Amy!
H: Back to Kevin in County Galway.
Kevin: Alright.
H: Kevin?
K: Yeah?
H: Would you like to ask a question? To Snotser?
K: Where'd you get your shades?
S: Where'd I get me shades? Well, I got them off this chap called Bono - who's really cool, in a band called U2, Kevin.
Dustin: I don't think that's sort of.. you can ask your question, Kevin!
H: Kevin, you can ask it - it can be a person, place, thing or object. What would you like.. and it can be yes or no.
K: Uh, what? Say that again?
H: It can be a person, place, thing or object - and you can ask him a question, if you'd like to ask him a question.
S: You're tryin' to guess which one I am, so Kevin - would you like to ask me another question?
K: Uhh. <pause> Where'd you get your hairstyle?
S: Well! I got it in this place called Mark Peters but.. <inaudible, talking over one another>
D: ..no, I think we have to go back to Amy...
H: No, we'll go now back to Amy. Back to Amy Shiels in County Cavan. Hello, Amy.
A: It's an object!
H: Yes, it is an object! Yes indeed. Would you like to ask another question?
A: Um, is it... Does it cut anything?
S: Does it what, Amy?
A: Does it cut?
H: Does it cut? No, it wouldn't cut anything.
S: No, it wouldn't cut anything(?) Amy, but good question all the same.
H: Good question. Back to Kevin in County Galway.
H: Kevin, would you... would you like to ask a question?
K: Um, wait... Wait one minute, I just have to do something.
S: <inaudible> you take your time, it's only live national television, so don't worry about it. Uhh, would you think of another question for me?
H: Kevin, have you not...
K: Hello?
S: Kevin, I'll tell you what, we'll go back to Amy.
H: We'll go back to Amy! Amy in County Cavan. Hello, Amy!
A: Hello! Um, could you write on it?
S: Could you - could you write on it? No, you couldn't write on it!
H: Kevin in - no, uh - Kevin in, uhh, County Galway?
K: Uhh, I can't really hear you on the phone?
H: Sorry, Kevin, we're playing What's Snots --
S: Yeah, it's a quiz we do every Thursday here.
H: And it can be a person, place, animal or object. And Kevin, would you like to ask a question to Snotser? Like, are you a cow, or something?
K: Uh, are you a sheep?
S: Well it's not a bad question - no, I am not a sheep. Well, I am going to speed things up and just say that I am a thing. A thing, a thing, I'm a thing!
D: Be doing get to back Amy in Cavan(?).
H: Amy Shiels, yeah.
D: Amy, I'll give you a hint, right? It's something that you could... that could have a stairs. It mighn't. Some of these do and some of them don't.
H: I apologise, uh, yeah.
A: Is it, erm, do you go upstairs?
S: You can't go up stairs in this thing, Amy, and if you'd like to ask me another question, you'd be more than welcome.
D: Yes, well actually yes, so another question from Amy.
A: Um. Could you go up to the ceiling?
S: Well yeah, they do have a ceiling, you're dead right now Amy, go on ye!
A: Is it a ladder that you go up to the ceiling with?
S: No! No, no, no it's not, no.
D: Kevin in Galway.
S: <sings a song?>
H: Back to Kevin in Galway! Back to Kevin in Galway.
K: Um.
S: It's an object!
K: Um. Cow?
D: No, no. It's back over to Amy in Cavan.
S: Amy! There's a saying, right? That you could be as safe as...?
H: Safe as...? You could be safe as h-? H-? H-!
S: Rhymes with mouses!
A: As safe as a hatter?
S: As safe as a hatter!?
D: I tell you what, I think we're willing to--
H: Well what we'll do is both of you win a bike!