Undercover Bunny

“Chief, I’m not just a token bunny!”

Chief Bogo, an otherwise rational and successful bull of some thirty-odd years, valiantly resisted the urge to ram his forehead into something hard. He was getting too old for this shit. He had known about Hopps, or someone like her, for a few months now, but the long-eared headache hadn’t been slated to graduate for at least another year. Mayor Lionheart’s Mammal Inclusion Initiative had moved through the city council much faster than anyone had anticipated and Hopps had entered, and successfully graduated, the police academy almost a year before he was ready for her.
Hell, she had just about shown up out of the blue. The deputy mayor had called him in a complete tizzy and told him to get his officers prepared for Hopps’ arrival that morning. Sensitivity training and briefings hadn’t even been drawn up yet and the small mammal standard issue gear was still technically in the conceptual stages. He heard that Lionheart had only just made it to her surprise graduation.

Judy Hopps had ran a 100 yard dash while Zootopian bureaucracy had been training for the Sloth Olympiad. Bellwether promised that she would redline at least another uniform for Hopps and some rabbit sensitivity information to him by the end of the week. That certainly didn’t help him now, though.

A furious thumping brought the bull back to his unpleasant reality. Hopps’ little foot was beating out a deepening little sforzando the longer he left her without an assignment. She apparently did not like the emergency desk job he had pulled out of his ass for her.

If only the little traffic cars had been delivered he could just stick her on traffic duty until the public attention was off of her and then he could drum her out of the force. Real life never worked out so perfectly, though.
“Look, I don’t care what you want,” Bogo snorted. He leaned down until his hot breath was shaking the rabbit’s ears. “The ZPD is not your personal dog and pony show, Hopps. I decide the assignments, not you. Adjust that attitude or the only policing you’ll ever do will be from the inside of the evidence cage.”

To the little bunny’s credit, she didn’t so much as bat an eye when Bogo’s horns were on either side of her head. “I graduated at the top of my class. How many other top graduates have you put on a desk job their first day?” Bogo flinched back and Hopps surged forward. “I know I can handle anything you throw at me, Chief. Just give me a chance. I’ll take anything, but please just put me on the street!”

Bogo was about to really rip the rabbit a new one when a thought struck him. It was horrible, brilliant, and probably several code violations – but – it would get that bunny out of his horns.

“Alright, Hopps. You get a shot.” The look the rabbit gave him was so disgustingly trusting. Bogo told himself this would all work out in the end. It was really for her own good; police work was far, far too dangerous for a chirpy little rabbit like her. “I’m putting you in Special Branch.”

“Special Branch!” They were the division that was responsible for the big-ticket crimes! Murders, drugs busts, industrial espionage – they were the detective’s detectives.

And she was going to be one!

Judy snapped to attention and gave Chief Bogo the most perfect, crisp salute he’d ever received. “I won’t let you down, Sir!”

“I’m counting on it, Hopps. You can report to Special Branch today to get oriented. Lieutenant Oswalt will get you sorted. His office is down past the evidence lockers on the right.”

“Got it, Chief. Do I get my spare equipment now or-”

“Won’t need it. You’ll understand when you talk to Oswalt. I’ll call ahead and tell him you’re on your way.”

As Judy bounded off, Bogo resigned himself to getting a lashing from Oswalt. As funny as it would be to just let Hopps show up, he had to get Oswalt on the same page to nip this little thorn right out of the department’s side.

-------------------------

Judy Hopps was used to being stared at. As the first rabbit on Zootopia’s police force, she had been told to expect it by all of the mayor’s public relations animals. Their advice, which Judy had taken to heart, was to imply smile back at them.

Her face was getting kind of tired, though. She’d been smiling all morning.

Twice Judy had been forced to show her full stack of credentials to get access to mundane areas of the precinct. One particularly difficult wolf had even called Bogo’s office when she had tried to get into the evidence area. Listening to that chewing-out worth the extra hassle.

Once she was back in the Special Branch area, though, Judy faced much less hostility. It didn’t hurt that most of the officers she was now sharing the hallways with were from the Mouse Division. For once animals were having to get out of her way.

It was a bit difficult to find Lieutenant Oswalt’s office.  Judy had to ask several mice to direct her to normal-sized hallways for detours, but eventually she found his door. Two doors, actually. One tiny mouse-size one and a regular one. Judy checked her uniform over for good measure and then gave the normal door a solid knock.

“Don’t just stand out there like a tourist,” cracked a gravelly voice from within. “Get in here.”

Judy fumbled with the doorknob for an embarrassingly long moment before finally stepping inside. Instantly she was overwhelmed with the cloud of dust, fur dander, and tobacco smoke that hovered in the air like mist in the Rainforest District. Judy waved her hand around but it did nothing to clear the air.

The little brown ball of fur sitting behind a much too large desk was grumbling to itself between full puffs on a cigarette that was nearly as big as his entire mouth. When Judy stepped up to his desk, with precise academy precision, the rat looked at her like she was mentally damaged. When she actually saluted he put out his cigarette and let his head bang against the top of his desk.

“Bogo is fucking nuts,” Lieutenant Oswalt muttered. He rubbed his eyes and glanced back up. His expression turned pained when Judy was still there, saluting, but looking more and more nervous and uncomfortable by the second. “Jesus, fine. Fine. I thought he was kidding me about this…” The rat returned the salute and flopped his hand in the vague direction of a chair big enough for Judy to sit on.

“Officer Judy Hopps, reporting for duty. It’s an honor, Sir, to be here!”

“Yeah, yeah. We’re all honored,” Oswalt grumbled as fumbled with both the oversized cigarette and his flip lighter. The fresh smell of burning tobacco made her nose twitch. She wondered how the rat could stand it. “Listen, if you know what’s good for you, you would resign right now and save us both a lot of time and effort. I get the feeling you’re not going to do me that favor, though.”

Judy sat up straighter in her chair. “No, Sir. I came here to be a police officer. I can do the job. I’m trained for it.”

Oswalt grinned, showing off all the little needle-like teeth in his mouth. “Oh, I’m sure you never learned any of this at the Academy. You’ll be resigning in a week, Bogo thinks. I’m reserving judgement.”

It wasn’t exactly a ringing endorsement, but Judy would take it. She hazarded a smile. “I won’t let you down, Lieutenant. So! What’s my first case? Murderer on the loose? Riot duty? Drug bust?”

“A little bit of everything.” The rat shuffled around some files on his desk until he found the one he was looking for. It was a small red folder that he slid over to Judy. “Congratulations and welcome to your new life.”

More than a little confused, Judy flipped open the folder. Inside was a map of the Zootopia center district, a set of keys, a few hundred dollars in random bills, a flip phone, and a small black address book. The book turned out to be full of names and species with a few phone numbers mixed in.

“The money is all you’re going to get for a new set of clothes and some food, so don’t waste it,” Oswalt said. “Your new apartment has been completely cleaned out except for the bed and some basic furniture, so get used to lean living until you’ve firmly established your identity. The phone, though, is paid for by the station. My direct line is in its address book as ‘Professor Padraic’, but don’t use it unless it’s an emergency.”

Judy held out the armful of items. “Sir, I don’t understand. What is all this?”

“Bogo didn’t even tell you that you’re in Special Branch now?”

“No, no! He told me that, but this…”

Oswalt looked at her funny for a second before glancing at the front of his desk. “Oh, for the love of…look around your feet for a plaque, Hopps. Damn thing keeps falling off.”

Dutifully, Judy began groping around through the dirty, matted carpet, brushing away years’ worth of dust balls and cigarette ash until her nails tapped against something metallic. She brought it up to the sunlight piercing the dust. “’Lieutenant Oswalt, Chief of the UC.’ The ‘you see’?”

“Under Cover.” His grin turned just a little bit vicious. He held out his tiny hand. “I’m going to need that badge of yours, Agent Hopps.”

Four hours, two orientations, and three sergeant briefings later Judy Hopps walked out of ZPD for the last time in what she understood would be months. No badge. No proof she was actually a cop beyond the secret codes used by the other undercover agents. No help. No partner. She would have to come up with an identity on her own, establish her own contacts, and work cases as they came down the long, convoluted pipe with little or no official recognition.

The only thing Judy Hopps did have were the keys to a new apartment in Sahara Square and a little black book filled with information on small-time con artist that regularly took on help. One of these animals, Lieutenant Oswalt insisted, was the key to bringing down the most notorious crime ring in Zootopia. Bogo and Oswalt both seemed to think that this would break her or make her get out of the force, but she would show them.

After all, she had been learning about crime her entire life – how hard could it possibly be to pretend to be a criminal?