Pinkamena Romance Drivel

>You're Anon, and you have a huge crush on Pinkamena Diane Pie.
>No, not Pinkie Pie.
>That bitch is annoying as all hell.
>But when she calms down a bit, she's actually pretty great.
>Not to mention the fact that her silky straight mane is to die for.
>Walking into sugarcube corner, you catch sight of Pinkie working the counter.
>As soon as she sees you, a broad grin breaks out across her muzzle.
>Brace yourself for verbal assault.
>A zipping sound and a puff of air later, and she is beaming in your face.
>"Hey Nonny, it's so great to see you again it's been so long it almost feels like it's been forever or maybe like a year but not really since you visited yesterday but that's still a whole day and 6 hours and 48 minute-"
>Feeling your mind shudder and collapse in on itself from the flurry of words entering your ears, you place a hand on her snout to bring her to silence.
Hey. Please be quiet. Please.
>You would have said "shut your face" but that just seems rude.
>She continues staring up at you for a moment longer before her hair deflates with an airy whine, her ears droop in depression, and a sad look comes to her face.
>As you feel her lip beginning to tremble, and see tears coming to her eyes, you let go of her mouth.
>"T-that's not very nice..."
>Thank you jebus, that's so much better.
I'm not very nice. Go get me a muffin.
>With her head hung low, and tail sweeping across the floor behind her, she moves back behind the counter to retrieve your confection.
>God she's cute like this.
>Popping back up behind the counter, she keeps her eyes demurely pointed at the floor as she hoofs the muffin to you.
>"Here you go... That'll be two bits..."
>Dropping the coins, you continue to look down at her as she refuses to meet your gaze.

So.
>"So...?"
...May I take you out for a date tonight?
>You're really hoping that this was a good idea.
>She seems just as liable to start bouncing off the walls as she is to calmly saying yes or no.
>Her eyes widen as she slowly trails her stare up to you, a blush somehow forming on her already pink cheeks.
>Noticing her mouth hanging open, you lower a hand and close it.
>Locking eyes, you continue this impromptu staring contest as you bring the muffin to your mouth and take a bite.
>Shit's cash, you want her to bake you muffins every day for the rest of your life.
>And never ramble again.
>Is that so much to ask? For a female to just be quiet and make you food?
>Wow, you sound like a douche.
>"Uhmm..."
>She nervously scrapes the floor with a hoof while biting her lip.
>"N-nopony has ever asked me on a date before..."
It's just a picnic, no pressure. We'll kick back, eat some snacks, ya know the usual.
>A small smile comes to her lips as she looks down again, as though she's trying to hide behind her flat mane.
>It's like Fluttershy, minus the antisocial, reclusive, crazy cat lady behavior.
>"That sounds like fun..."
>Doing a mental fist pump at your victory, you soak in the adorableness of the mare beneath you.
Great, I'll be here to pick you up at 7?
>"O-okay, I'll be ready."
>Turning around, you swagger your way to the exit.
>Before you close the door, you see the pink mare still smiling at you softly with a cute blush on her face.
>This was definitely a good idea.
>Perhaps not in the long term, but you can always invest in downers to keep her medicated for life.
>Truly, you're a man among men.

>When the time comes, you give yourself one final check in the mirror and make your way back to Sugarcube Corner with basket and supplies on arm.
>Standing out front is your date, wearing a simple blue sundress the color of her eyes, and a matching ribbon tying her smooth hair over to one side.
>She looks nice. Like really nice.
>Not drop dead gorgeous, but the kind of subtle prettiness that makes you want to take your time with her.
>You'd imagine that Rarity had a hand in this.
>She nervously switches her weight from one fore-hoof to the other, and glances around every few seconds.
>It's like she isn't expecting you to show.
>You wonder if she's been stood up before.
>She said she'd never been asked out, but perhaps she worked up the courage to approach a stallion.
>If so, you could imagine his position. She's nice, so you don't want to flat out turn her down.
>But she may have come on a little too strongly.
>Standing beside her is Mrs. Cake, who seems to be fussing over her in a motherly fashion.
>"-nd just make sure you be yourself. Anons a nice boy, so I'm sure he'll treat you with all the respect you deserve. Oooh, speak of the colt~"
>Catching sight of you as you walk up to them, Pinkamenas' face lights up like the sun, though not in the psychotic rictus grin of her hyperactive counterpart.
Evening Mrs. Cake. Hello Pinkie. You look lovely.
>You hold out a few flowers for her, as the older mare puts a hoof to her mouth and giggles.
>"Hi Nonny... You look nice too."
>Taking the flowers, she quickly eats them.
>... You weren't expecting that, though you probably should have.
>Holding out the hand that isn't being used for the basket, she shyly places a hoof in your grasp as her blush deepens under her bright eyes.
>"You two have fun now, but don't be back too late~"
Of course.
>Beginning to walk awkwardly, you notice it must not be easy holding a hoof up to your angle, but she makes the best of it with a smile on her face.

>Finally arriving at a hill overlooking town, you pull a blanket from your basket and lay it out in front of you.
>Placing the basket on top, you plop down and invite Pinkamena to join you.
>She carefully trots to your side, and lays down beside you to gaze at the glowing lights of the town below.
>"It's really pretty..."
>The thought occurs to you to say something cheesy, but turning down to her while she's looking on in wonder, your breath catches in your throat.
>Soft moonlight reflects off her mane, making her seem to hold an ethereal beauty that you wouldn't normally see.
>Princess Luna, the very goddess of the moon, would be envious of the way this night seems to shine for only her.
Yeah...
>She turns her eyes to yours causing you to quickly look away, no doubt blushing a bit yourself now.
>Cool it. Just think of how annoying she usually is.
>From the corner of your eye you see her smile playfully at you.
>She knows you were staring.
>Reaching into the basket with an awkward cough, you pull out a few cupcakes that you made yourself.
>They're nothing compared to what she can do, but you know they're her favorites.
>Handing one over to her, you quickly stuff your mouth with another, trying to alleviate some of the tension.
>Your face morphs into a scowl as the taste hits you.
>These are terrible.
>Giggling to herself quietly at the look on your face, she duteously eats the cupcake you presented to her.
>Munching away at it, she can't keep her eyebrow from twitching at the somehow slimy texture of the offending food.
>Unfortunately, you have an entire dozen of these packed away.
>Pulling them out and spreading them across the blanket, you lock eyes with the pink mare once more as a devious smirk comes to your face.
>A hardened look comes to her eyes, and you know the challenge is accepted.
>An unspoken word sees the two of you quickly stuffing your faces with the disgusting treats, and trying your hardest not to spit them out.
>By the time all 12 are gone, you are panting in an effort to keep the pervasive taste from invading your tastebuds, and Pinkamena is scrunching her muzzle with squinted eyes.

>"Hehe, maybe you can practice baking with me for next time."
>Next time.
>If every date with her could be as nice as this one, you don't think you'd mind in the least.
Sure, I'll invite you over to my place so you can give me lessons.
>Allowing the calm atmosphere to take over once more, both of your attentions return to the blinking lights below.
>"Thanks for taking me here, Nonny. I know you don't like the way I act sometimes, but I'm glad you gave me a chance..."
N-no Problem Pinks.
>Leaning back and taking her hoof in hand once more, you continue to look out over the town.
>She really is beautiful, and you're beginning to think that her usual personality may just be worth nights like this.