SA-1: End of a Season

>Day of the Alicorn in Equestria
>You are Anonymous.
>The only human in Equestria thanks to the infinite probability drive.
>You weren’t even on that stupid ship.
>The Universe wanted to troll someone that day and you were the idiot chosen.
>Thanks Universe, I love you too.
>You’ve lived in Equestria for a good while now.
>Showed up around the time the full moon princess came back.
>That was such a long time ago.
>It took time, but you are now a well respected citizen of Ponville.
>If there was a problem you can fix it.
>Because let’s face it, these pones (while very nice) are prone to panic and make stupid mistakes
>99.6% of the time you are the level headed one and you don’t freak out when something doesn’t work the first time.
>You are reliable and very handy.
>Because you really had nothing better to do.
>The only thing that was brought with you was the towel you wore when you got out of the shower.
>That was a bad day.

>But that is the past, you are happy now.
>Resigned to your fate.
>There is only one problem.
>Six mares really, really wanted you.
>It started out with just Fluttershy.
>She saw something in you she desired.
>It began with a date invitation, which you declined.
 >You are not a horse fucker.
>You told all the pones that, it is just who you are.
>Apparently Twilight read something in some book and told Fluttershy about fetishes.
>That’s when the routine started.
>Every morning after the sacred S’s she would show up.
>You can say she got rather creative after a while.
>She even guessed it right, but you will never admit it.
>You are not a horse fucker.

>Then came Applejack.
>At a silly farm hoedown you challenged her to a wrestling match.
>You were drunk like an idiot.
>Silly pony might be stronger than you, but no horse can grapple like an ape.
>Up to that point, nopony could beat her.
>However, when you won something just clicked inside her and she saw you in a whole new light.
>You were the apple of her eye.
>Literally, you can see an apple in her eye with you in the middle.
>Pones are weird.
>From that day on she would be try to claim you by any means necessary.
>Thankfully she’s not as creative as Fluttershy, but she is more aggressive.
>You’ve gotten really good at untying knots.
>Batman would be proud.

>Then one day Rainbow Dash joined in.
>The crazy pegasus just out of the blue decided to try to plow you.
>You found out later she had a bucket list of things to buck.
>You were added to the list when she saw how much trouble you gave Applejack.
>A competition about raping you, only in Equestria.
>You usually don’t see her until its too late.
>Thankfully, she is very ticklish and easy to trick.
>At first she did it for the heck of it, now you suspect she might actually like you.
>No Rainbow Dash, I do not want to cum inside.

>You thought you were done for when Pinkie joined the circle.
>If she went full force you probably would be.
>But there is a rulez book somewhere, and for that you are extremely thankful.
>She can only do things that are funny, and if it is not funny she won’t do it.
>You usually have a heads up before it happens.
>You have to be crazy creative to escape her.
>Throw logic out the window.
>It’s all like one big game to her, and you are just part of the joke.
>Found out that the local newspaper had an article that kept everyone up to date of your escapades.
>Pones are weird.
>At least they help you out some days.
>The cartoon that showed you tricking all four of them into drinking rainbow sauce is legendary.
>You have it on your fridge back at home.

>Twilight joined in when she did a full magic bio scan of your body.
>You became sick one day and no of the vets (thanks guys) or doctors could help.
>She came in with a spell that would tell her everything about your body.
>The scan created a large anatomy book that told her everything about the human body.
>It worked; she found the problem and the cure.
>She deserved a belly rub.
>Pones love your belly rubs.
>After a few days, she came back to you and presented the section on human reproduction.
>She couldn’t believe what she read and wanted to confirm if it was true.
>Stallions might be a little bigger than you, but you outclass everything under Celestia’s sun.
>No joke.
>From then on Twilight created presentations, essays, and mathematical equations that proved why you should do it with her.
>It was dull and you had to sit through every one of her lectures.
>Apparently it was a big hit back at the universities though.
>They found it funny, but informative.
>It’s required reading for all the students.
>Science pones are weird.
>It’s not so funny when Twilight goes through a maniac phase and tried to magic rape you.
>Thankfully, the other pones lend a hoof to save your sorry butt.

>Rarity joined in last.
>She wasn’t interested at first, but she saw how all her friends acted like ‘uncouth’ foals she decided to show them how it was done.
>She invited you for a date, just one harmless date.
>She told you she wanted to show her friends how ladies should act.
>Ladies date with dignity and if it doesn’t work out the first time don’t push it any farther.
>You wanted to say no, but then she told you she had set up a reservation in a famous restaurant in Canterlot.
>The only restaurant that served meat.
>Meat is so hard to come by, very expensive and fish just doesn’t cut it.
>So you agreed.
>You dressed in a sharp suit and you acted like a gentleman.
>If it was only one date there was no reason to act like a jerk.
>Big mistake.
>Stallions must be idiots because apparently you were the best date she ever had.
>When you ate your BLT (cost 50 bits, outrageous) you were polite enough to not shove it in her face.
>Do stallions feel entitled because of the wacked out ratio of males to females?
>Probably.
>From that point on Rarity schemed and manipulated others to catch you.
> Xanatos gambit huh, try Rarity gambit.
>The only reason you win is because you supply Sweetie Bell and her friends with jawbreakers.
>Their obsession with those is odd, but the information you get is invaluable.
>This is your life in Ponville.
>They all know you aren’t a horse fucker, but they don’t care.
>They believe you will cave in one day, and you believe that they will give up one day.
>Sounds like a stupid cartoon.
>At least the musicals are fun.
>Then it happened.

>Yesterday Twilight discovered a spell and ascended into alicorn-hood.
>The morning started off simple enough and when you heard that door knock you were surprised to see all six of them.
“No Fluttershy, an orgy with all my potential rapists is not my fetish.”
>”Oh, sorry that is not why we are here.” Fluttershy sighed as she probably scratched off another one from the list.
>The others simply snickered or rolled their eyes.
>Twilight stepped forward to you with a sly smile.
>She a little taller...and she has wings.
>Oh no.
>”Anon, are alicorns your fetish?”
>You stand there dumbfounded.
>Normal pones you can beat, but this was beyond you.
“No.”
>”Figured as much, but I’m not worried.” Twilight clicked her tongue.
>”We’re leaving to go to Canterlot for my Princess Coronation. When we come back...well we haven’t decided yet, but things are about to change.”
>You gulp.
>”Don’t think about running, we’ll find you.” Rainbow Dash licked her lips.
>”I’m bringin’ the rope. Not that we’ll need it I just love trying you up.” Applejack gave you a scary smile.
>Pinkie Pie is on your head, she has on a pair of cardboard wings and a party hat. “I’m bringing my special energy brew so the party will never stop.”
>Rarity doesn’t say a word; she has a whip and a collar with your name on it.
>You collapsed to your knees and shout to the heavens.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOoooo!!!”

>Your futile cry for help ended when you noticed they started to laugh.
>”Wow, you fell for that one.” Rainbow falls over as her sides spill out.
“Wait, what?”
>”Did you really think we would really do that to you?” Twilight has laughed hard enough to cry.
“...Yes.”
>The spaghetti you produced is enough to feed a starved third world country.
>You wait until they contained their laughter, you are not amused.
>Even if it was a good prank.
“Princess Twilight now, huh? Good for you.”
>”Yup, thanks to friendship I am now a princess.”
“Do the rest of you get to become alicorns too or is all exclusive to Twilight?” You’re a little sarcastic, not because you were peeved from earlier, nope.
>Twilight pondered a bit with a confused expression. “I don’t know, but I wouldn’t see why not.”
>You are an idiot.
>You see a chariot arrive to pick them up.
>They all say goodbye and quickly leave to go to Canterlot.
>This is it, this has changed everything.
>You are not about to go to Canterlot.
>This will probably be your last moments of peace you will ever have.
>With a depressed sigh you head into town.
>It is empty; all the pones have left to go to see the coronation.
>Just you and your thoughts.
>With Twilight as an alicorn you were sure the moment she decided to stop playing nice you would be done for.
>You walk into the silent park as you quietly think over everything.
>The future is uncertain, but the past is a reliable companion.

>The first year you were here was nothing short of amazing.
>Applejack’s stubborn nature when she refused any help brought a smile to your face.
>To this day you will always tease the flower trio about fainting over a deadly stampede of bunnies.
>You watched with a dropped jaw as Twilight picked up a two story star bear and escorted safely from town.
>That mare is incredible sometimes.
>The Running of the Leaves was pleasant.
>Probably the only time you would ever beat Rainbow Dash and Applejack in a race.
>Your first Winter Wrap Up will always hold a special place in your heart.
>You were under Rarity’s supervision and you made some kickass nests.
>The introduction to Pinkie Pie’s special senses was something else.
>Not sure how to feel about the sense that pertained to you.
>She gets tingles in her nether regions and she can taste salt...ew.
>However, that year’s highlight was Cloudsdale.
>They went to a competition of sorts and you asked if you could join them.
>That city is amazing, but nothing could compare to what Rainbow Dash did.
>Forget a double rainbow that Sonic Rainboom was flat out the most awesome thing you ever saw.
>And you watched The Dark Knight.
>You missed home and there was no way back, but it was not a bad way to start a new life.
>Even if that’s when the fetish guessing started.

>You walked over to a pond and picked up a stone.
>You flicked it and watched it skip a few times.
>You take another stone and repeated it over and over.
>The second year was slightly rougher, but not without its moments.
>Some spirit of chaos called Discord strolled into town and started to wreak the place.
>That’s when you discovered chaos magic didn’t affect you.
>Humans are naturally chaotic in nature so you were immune to him.
>Didn’t help you, all it did was allow Discord to tease you constantly as you watched the world burn.
>You couldn’t help anyone, you couldn’t save anyone, and you couldn’t touch Discord.
>The changed pones were incredibly cruel.
>Then you saw it, the Elements of Harmony.
>It left you awestricken.
>A heavenly vortex of peace and bliss that calmed your soul to the core.
>You will never forget.
>The after party, however, you can barely remember.
>That’s what you get for out drinking Applejack.
>Sure you won, but your liver never forgave you.
>That year was also your first introduction to maniac Twilight.
>Only a fool forgets those signs.
>Thankfully, you were only the subject of her mania once.
>You also met Princess Luna that year.
>Nice lady, if a bit overbearing.
>Cool powers too.
>She is the night!
>This was also the year when Fluttershy got you an animal friend.
>You got a rat.
>Ya...
>Smart little guy, you taught him how to sniff out any of the mares when they were in rape mode.
>Heck, he saved you from Rarity’s devious mechanizations several times.
>Couldn’t save you from a rampaging Spike though.
>Wrong place and the wrong time and you found yourself scooped up by a giant dragon.
>No Fos Ro Dah could save you that day.
>Dragonborn you are not.
>You are not really sure why Spike decided to pick you up.
>When he was normal again he said it was because he recognized you as a bro.
>That was nice, not being thought of as food.

>Up till that point the Apple family kind gave you strange looks for being the target for Applejack.
>Then those sleazy con pones showed up.
>You saw what they did and it ticked you off.
>The Simpsons parodied it first.
>It was also a stupid bet and you were quick to point it out.
>You were also quick to point out that they didn’t have a license to drive that stupid thing.
>So you took their machine away, got them arrested, and sent them to the other towns that they have conned before.
>Twilight and Pinkie then worked together to build a better machine then gave it to the Apple family who then got a proper license to use it.
>There was never another season when they ran out of apple cider.
>That was probably when Rainbow Dash fell in love with you.
>It was also the point when you actually heard Granny Smith gave Applejack her blessing.
>You are an idiot, and you should have kept your mouth shut.
>This was also an interesting Christmas.
>Sorry, Hearts Warming Eve.
>You are not going to lie, you cried like a beta Anon last year.
>All alone from your loved ones in your empty cold house.
>Fluttershy and Pinkie caught wind of that and made sure to see you the second time.
>It was a time of truce.
>You still cried, but it wasn’t as lonely.
>Ponyville was home now, and honestly you felt like it was home.
>Even if the pones were weird.
>You know what was fun though?
>Beating up bugs.

>You got invited to a wedding.
>Nothing that special.
>You arrived the day of the wedding, long after the girls had gone there.
>Then bug invasion.
>Had you been pre-Equestria Anon you would have been chump food.
>However, two years of running, thinking, and fighting turned you into a lean mean fighting machine.
>Best part was that none of them could copy you.
>Weird body structure and all that.
>Somehow you met up with the girls, and punched and kicked your way to victory.
>Well it would have been, but Zerg rushes are still OP.
>Everyone was brought before the queen bug who gloated like a moron only for her to get her flank handed to her not a moment later.
>What kind of lame power is heart anyway?
>Strong enough to kill bugs oddly enough.
>Wedding was cool.
>Meet Celestia for the first time.
>She’s interesting.

>No more stones to throw.
>You meander along the path until you reach the park bench.
>You lie down and stare up into the sky.
>With no pegasus around the clouds just drift along lazily.
>Like Derpy’s eyes.
>Lightening still hurts.
>You sigh as you remember this year.
>This year has zoomed by so fast.
>Pinkie has found a magical pool that duplicated her multiple times over.
>Unlike normal Pinkie, these had no qualm in having fun with you.
>That was probably the closest you came to losing your pone virginity.
>You had to resort to using your backup plans if Twilight went maniac ever again.
>Involved a trampoline, a hot air balloon, rainbow squirt guns, a catapult, itching powder smoke bombs, the Tardis, cherrychanga, chimicherry, chimicherrychanga, parasprites, tribbles, a trashcan lid sprayed with cooking spray, a musical number, lawyers, a sack of puppies and kittens, a R.O.U.S., a mustache, a paperclip with rubber bands, and a block of salt.
>It was very, very close.
>Anon’s Last Stand was turned into a hit movie and a book.
>You never got royalties.
>Awesome movie though.
>Also Trixie came back.
>Nothing important happened.
>You got dragged along to see how Rainbow Dash was doing in her Wonderbolt training.
>Not sure why they couldn’t wait a week.
>Outcome was predictable.
>The tornado not so much.
>Sometimes it feels like I miss a huge part of a story and I just walked in right at the end.
>Meet this pegasus named Lightening Dust in a bar that night.
>That was a sad sight.

>Was invited to the Apple family reunion.
>Didn’t go.
>Was dragged there anyway.
>The barn collapsed on you.
>Your unconscious body was propped up for the family picture.
>Thanks Apples.
>Discord came back.
>You really hate the guy’s guts.
>Stayed away the whole time.
>He apparently learned to be a friend to Fluttershy, the weakest link.
>To this day he sends love notes to you just because he can.
>Hate him so much.
>Yes you’re mad.
>Your thoughts reach an end to this day.
>The branches sway in the breeze as the sun keeps you comfortably warm.
>Just a short nap.
>Future Anon’s problems.

>You hear voices.
>”Anon wake up.”
“Just five more minutes.” You grumbled.
>”We gave you five minutes already sugarcube.”
“Not my five minutes.” You grunted as you rolled over.
>You feel feathers brush across your feet.
>That gets you up really fast.
“Hey, no! My feet.” You sat up so fast your vision blurred.
>Great, they’re back from that silly place on the mountain.
>They’re all smiling, did they get bigger as well?
>Flutters’s horn makes her hornier now, hehe.
>Wait a minute.
“Oh no, OH NO! You all have horns and wings. Twibright I was being sarcastic earlier!”
>”Oh I know, but even a point made in jest can be a good idea.”
>Pinks bounced up next to you and wrapped a foreleg around you.
>”Wings and horns for everyp0ny. Wings and horns everywhere!”
>You mentally weep in horror.
>Nope scratch that, you made a terrified squeak.
>Raritycorn sauntered up to you. “Is it really that surprising darling? We’re the Elements and only one of them ascends to a higher plane. Just wouldn’t be right.”
>”You’re just happy to be a Princess. These bigger wings are going to take a while to get use to.”
>If all wing boners you see are any indication, they are all happy to see you.
>”Ah’m personally not too keen on the whole thing, but aien’t nothn’ wrong with stronger legs.”
>Applecorn gets closer to whisper into your ear. “I can only imagine how much better I’m at with bucking.”
>You can picture your pelvis turning into dust.
>”Is being the royal vessel a fetish, Anon?”
“No.”
>”Soon.”

>”Ok girls I think we teased him enough today. We do have something serious to do.”
>The girls backed off as Twilight approached you.
>”As much grief we give you and vise versa we see you as a friend. Anon for the time you have been here with us has been wonderful. You were there to comfort us in our low points and celebrated during our victories. You might see it, but you are harmonious with us.”
“Wait, don’t I have a chaotic nature though?”
>”That just mean you see the world differently. You might not be the nicest guy around, but at the end of the day you will always try to do the right thing. The little chaos you bring just makes the day more exciting.”
“Are you making a point with all this?”
>The Elements of Harmony started to glow; you should have noticed the jewelry.
>Failed a spot check again.
>”We want to share this gift with you.”
“I will burn down your library if you turn me into a horse.”
>They don’t answer as the light became blinding.
>They’re a firen their laso
>Boom
>Your vision is bleached with white.

>You find yourself on a star-light path.
“Hello? Anyone here? Purple Nurple if you don’t explain what’s going on I’m not giving you a belly rub for a week.”
>You hear clopping.
>Not that kind sicko.
>You turn around to see Princess Celestia.
“Er, hi Princess.”
>”Anonymous, I’ve been looking forward to this.”
“To what exactly.”
>”I’ve been watching you for some time now and we finally reach the end to all things. It is time for new beginnings.”
“We only met like once.”
>”True, but I have been receiving letters and reports about you...and something else as well.”
>”Everything that has a beginning has an end.”
>She spreads her wings out as images surrounded you both.
>Anons. So many Anons.
>Some of them you, mostly others.
>There is Fluttershy trying to rape Anon.
>You see a child Anon living in Equestria.
>An Anon that lives with a drunk Rarity.
>Vampire Anon.
>Fluttershy trying to rape Anon again.
>Cartoon antics between Pinkie and an Anon.
>Anon split into three.
>Pickles.
>A lung...weird.
>Oh look, Fluttershy trying to rape Anon.
>Luna and Anon in love.
>Scootaloo living with Anon.
>Applejack and a corrupted Anon.
>Dragon Anon and Rainbow Dash.
>Anon fighting an [Index] powered Twilight.
>Take a wild guess what Fluttershy is doing, the first two don’t count.
>Derpy and a beta Anon enjoying a movie together.
>Cats, cats, and more cats.
>It just doesn’t end.
 “Is this all real?”

>Celestia looks over to you. “These are all Anons in a different life. Different Equestria. But one thing remains consistent; they are all a part of our lives. For good or ill.”
>”This one is considered legendary.”
>Princess Celestia is staring at one with a small smile.
>Anon and Fluttershy living in the same home in peace.
>”With the help of her friends she eventually won when she discovered his fetish.”
“Really now, and what is my fetish?” You challenged her.
>”[spoilers]Happiness.[/spoilers]”
>You grunt in response.
“Whatever.”
>You feel something strange.
>A small white orbs jumps out from your body.
>You feel yourself being lift up off the ground.
“This is completely unnecessary. I really don’t think this is a good idea!”
>Your body starts to change, your mind opens up to new ideas.
>It’s like visiting 4chan for the first time.
>You look up to the great beyond.
“It’s full of...”
“Readers.”

>You are Twilight Sparkle and you have very pretty wings.
>Stop it.
>These princess impulses are hard to ignore.
>You are worried about Anon.
>He could still decline the gift if he really wanted to.
>”Do you think he will turn into a p0ny.”
“I hope not, Fluttershy. I want to keep my library in one piece.
>”Plus he would lose his fingers, and that mean no belly rubs.”
>Pinkie Pie always has her priorities straight.
>A bright flash is seen in the sky.
>You look up to see him descend.
 >You are awestruck, buck everyone here is awestruck.
>He accepted the gift and it is not even close to what you imagined.

>You are Anonymous.
>No need for a name change that would be stupid.
>You feel funny.
>You land on the ground and look at the crazy mares staring at you.
“Hello, anyone home? Is there something on my face?”
>”Dude, you’re on fire!”
>What?
“What?”
>Hey would you look at that, you are on fire.
>HOLYSH YOU’RE ON FIRE!
>And you’re freaking bright, tone down that glare.
>You feel something grab you from behind.
>Pinkie is looking at your wing.
>One of six wings that you have.
>What the hell were you thinking accepting this offer?
>”Oh, these are really soft.”
“Hey.”
>You wrapped the wings around you and the brightness is toned down considerably.
>”Much better darling. I almost had to take out a pair of sunglasses to look at you.”
>Thanks Rarity.
>Twilight is soon all over you.
>”Wow, what an interesting transformation. Six wings, body glows like the sun, and that voice is so pure.”
“I freaken turned into a seraphim.”
>”A what now suga’?”
”Some mythical creature from my home.”
>They all start looking you over with intrigued fascination.
>You see Fluttershy trying to nibble on one of the wings.
>Hell no.
“So what now.”
>Twilight’s eyes sparkled. “Now you become a prince.”
“How about no.”
>”You got a coronation set up, and a little crown, and title.”
“Can I just go home and sleep this off. I’m pretty sure any mortal will have their eyes burned out if they as much as glance at me.”
>”That would be a problem.”
“What would I be a Prince of anyway?”
>”You will be given the title of Holder of the Sacred Triple S’s.”
>Really?
>You are now Prince Anon, holy father of the Sacred S’s.
>Such is life in Equestria.
>You are an idiot.
>”Now we have all of eternity to figure out your fetish.”
>Fucking Fluttercorn.