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<4:00 PM, Fr!dAy G≤∑®†¥¨ˆøπ“xccxzzz FILE CORRUPTED>
<ERROR CODE 992>
<PLEASE CONTACT TECHNICAL SUPPORT HAVE A NICE THANK DAY YOU>

<THE_FIRST> Alright, people, I’m headed to the Blackened Void
<THE_FIRST> Can I expect to see you guys there?
<chocolat_orange> aw, man, that sounds like fun, but i can’t. lucianne just called me in to sub for someone at the café.
<Azure Scholar> Likewise, I have other business that I must attend to.
<Azure Scholar> Another time, perhaps.
<THE_FIRST> And this business is…?
<Azure Scholar> Somebody was wrong on the internet.
<Azure Scholar> Despite having all the information of the world literally at his fingertips.
<Azure Scholar> He must be shown the error of his ways with the greatest possible amount of prejudice.
<THE_FIRST> It's honestly scary that I can't tell if your joking or not
<Azure Scholar> You're.
<THE_FIRST> Nevermind, you're not joking
<THE_FIRST> Akikazu, how about you?
<Akagi21> yeah, i’ve got some time to kill
<Akagi21> meet you there
<THE_FIRST> Sweet
<THE_FIRST> Boys night out!
<Akagi21> shut up
<Akagi21 has signed off>
<THE_FIRST has signed off>
<chocolat_orange> hey, fumika-chan, maybe we should have a girl’s night out sometime!
<Azure Scholar> No.
<Azure Scholar has signed off>
<chocolat_orange> :(


>roll 3d20 (status, macca, loot), best of three
>2, 3, 4 = 9
>3, 2, 2 = 7
>1, 2, 2 = 5


<6:32 PM, Fr!!!!A@!@!#$%* FILE CORRUPTED PLEASE RESTART COMPUTHANKYOUANDHAVEANICEDAAAAAAA>

It was a rare and quiet day at the Hebi-Ko Medical Facility. Shizue Nogachi was at the attendant’s desk, deep in concentration as she chained paperclips together. There was nothing else to do. Just like she’d said, repeatedly, customer interest in the facility’s hair-brained event was non-existent, but had anybody listened to her? No, why would they, it was just Shizue, she could barely talk to her own reflection, what did SHE know…

She was so lost in her timewasting crafts and grumbling that she didn’t notice the opening of the door, and the shuffling entrance of two people who were so wounded and haggard that, at first glance, they could have been mistaken for zombies.

Shizue jumped and scattered paperclips when a handful of macca was slapped on the desk. “Spring,” Takashi Wakui grunted, looking like he had just had a very personal encounter with hell’s asshole. Were those burns on his clothes? “Soak.” Behind him, Akikazu Osaragi was struggling to stay upright, covered in nicks and bruises in a dozen different locations.

Takashi Wakui and his friends were probably the oddest clients of Hebi-Ko, which was really saying a lot. The usual clients came for physical therapy and rehabilitation in the revolutionary (but mostly magical) hot springs; Shizue had seen politicians, celebrities, megacorp CEOs, and even heavily-tattooed Yakuza walk through the doors for a good soak, but she had no idea which group Takashi and his friends belonged to. They seemed to just be regular students, but they always came in with wounds. Cuts, bruises, broken bones. The only thing keeping Shizue from asking what the hell had happened was the facility’s strict ‘customer confidentiality’ policy. They were her own age, so what were they doing that got them injured so often?

“Ha– wha–” Shizue stammered, too taken by surprise to respond properly. Takashi and Akikazu didn’t wait for a response; they knew the drill. They lurched and limped towards the entrances to the springs, vanishing into the men’s changing rooms. There were a lot of things Shizue wanted to tell them, and they were all scrambling to get out first. Things like: “What happened to you?”, “Is that a bullet wound?”, and “Wait, you really shouldn’t go in there we’re having a special event and it’s stupid wait–”

But they were able to shuffle faster than Shizue was able to organize her thoughts.


Takashi sank into the hot springs with a sigh and a hiss of steam. A soak at Hebi-Ko after a rough trip in the Blackened Void was like a ray of sunshine after a week of monsoon rain. Like a warm, buttery croissant after a month of eating bland, dry rice. Like something really good after something really bad. Takashi stopped thinking up more comparisons because he felt so relaxed. Conscious thought was way too much effort.

He should have figured that today would have been a bad day to go to the Blackened Void. His horoscope had been just the word ‘No’ printed a few dozen times, with one instance of ‘don’t do it’. On the way to school, a midnight black cat had crossed his path, followed by a dozen similarly black kittens. While he was in the Velvet Room at school to switch his Personas, the Twins hadn’t said anything, just giggled as if they knew something he didn’t. On the way to the Blackened Void, he had seen a murder of crows perched on a lamppost, staring at him. One of them had shaken its head.

Long story short, there must have been a Shadow party of some sort in the Forgot-ten City. After fighting their way through to safety, at great cost of life and limb, Takashi and Akikazu had ended up LOSING – not using, LOSING – a medkit and a few thousand macca. But that didn’t matter now. That was a problem from Outside, and inside the spring was paradise.

Takashi took a deep breath of sweet steam, and sank deeper into the hot water, letting it wash away his fatigue and injuries. He wondered how long he could stay in the water before Shizue would come in and timidly ask him to leave. An hour? Two? That sounded nice.

Akikazu sank into the water close by, groaning. “Holy shit,” he said wisely.

“Yeah, man,” Takashi concurred. “Holy shit.”

Akikazu stretched his big, firm arms – swinging a hammer all day did amazing things for biceps – his expression clenching before he relaxed. “So, if anybody asks, nothing happened,” he said, returning to his resting position. “We fought a couple Hableries, some Mayas, a Magus or two, and that was it.”

“Sounds good to me,” Takashi said. He looked around the spring, momentarily curious. “Hey, does this place seem bigger than usual?”

Akikazu looked around. “Huh, you’re right,” he said. “Isn’t there usually a wall there?”

“Not to mention there’s nobody here,” Takashi said. “What do you think’s going on?”

Akikazu shrugged his broad shoulders, drawing Takashi’s eyes like some strange magnet. “Who fucking knows,” he said, standing up.

“What are you doing?” Takashi asked, eyes trailing down his body against his own will. God, Akikazu was ripped. His abs looked like they had been chiseled by a closeted Renaissance sculptor, his thighs were taut and muscular, and that towel around his waist was indecently short. Takashi wondered why he was checking out Akikazu’s crotch, and decided that he was simply admiring the beauty of the male form in a totally heterosexual way. He was comfortable enough in his sexuality to be able to do that. It sounded like a reasonable explanation for everything but the desire to run his fingers all over the Hanged Man’s body.

Takashi took a deep breath of sweet steam. Wow, he felt really strange. But at the same time, almost liberated.

“Something I’ve always wanted to do,” Akikazu said, stepping out of the water and moving a few steps away from the edge. “You tell anyone, and I’ll deny it. And then I’ll murder you in your sleep.”

With a yell, he ran straight for the water. Takashi instantly understood his intentions. “CANNONBA-”

Akikazu’s foot slipped in a puddle just a step away from the edge. “Ah,” he just barely had time to say, sounding a bit surprised, before he tumbled end over end into the water.

Takashi shot to his feet, almost leaving his towel behind in the process. “Akikazu!” he shouted, immensely terrified. He waded quickly over to him, and put an arm around him to help him right himself. “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” Akikazu spluttered, coughing up water. “I shoulda seen that coming.”

“Be more careful next time,” Takashi said.

“I know, I know,” Akikazu grumbled. “You know, you can let go of me now.”

Disappointment sank into Takashi’s stomach. For some reason, he didn’t want to. Like this, so close, he could feel the taut, hard muscle beneath his friend’s skin. It was firm, reassuring, and strong, just like Akikazu.

There was no harm in staying like this for a little while longer, was there? Yeah, totally, none at all. This was fine. This was totally straight.

Takashi didn’t move.

Akikazu didn’t make any protests.

The world felt like it was shrinking until it contained only them. Two guys, wearing nothing but towels, practically embracing in an empty hot spring as tendrils of sweet-smelling steam swaddled them.

Takashi felt Akikazu’s large hand on his shoulder, squeezing slightly. “You’ve got nice delts,” Akikazu said, a bit of a blush on his cheeks.

“Are you kidding?” Takashi laughed, trying to distract himself from the electric tingle that Akikazu’s hand was causing. “Yours are as big around as my neck.” He put his hand on them, shivering at the feeling of strength hidden behind skin. “What’s your workout?”

“I fight using a giant hammer,” Akikazu said. “The delts just, you know, happen.”

“It’s amazing,” Takashi sighed. Without either of them noticing, they had been drifting gradually closer, as if by some gravitational pull. Takashi wet his suddenly-dry lips. “Absolutely amazing…”

Akikazu’s hand moved from Takashi’s shoulder to the back of his neck. “Takashi,” he almost moaned.

“A-Akikazu-kun…”

They came closer and closer, struggling against but wanting to give in to their desires. Closer, closer, closer…

“M-M-M-MA-MABUFU!”

The shrill scream was accompanied by a sudden pounding impact of icy cold that cut through Takashi’s foggy thoughts like a lighthouse’s beacon. He started thinking with the head that actually had the brains, and realized what he and Akikazu were doing. The Hanged Man’s face exploded into a horrified blush as he had the exact same realization. They separated like they were magnets with the same polarity, preparing to scream, but before they could, a pair of slender hands grabbed them and yanked them out of the water. “MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!” their mysterious ‘savior’ barked from behind a gas mask.

They were dragged from the outdoor springs, through a changing room, and back into the lobby, where they stood dripping, cold, half-dressed, and so confused it might have counted as a status condition. Takashi’s mind raced as he tried to understand what the hell had just happened. He and Akikazu had – what the HELL?

“I am SO SORRY,” their ‘savior’ squealed, her green hair held back by a military-issue gas mask. “I tried to tell you but I didn’t get the chance and then I had to find this gas mask so that when I came in to help you I wouldn’t get s-sucked in to whatever might have been happening l-like some kind of hentai and-”

She looked between the two towel-clad men, their bodies wrapped in hard-earned muscle. Behind the lenses of the mask, her eyes traveled slowly down their bodies. “That – that would have been – been, uh…” She covered her cheeks with her hands, as if the gas mask wasn’t already concealing her blush. “…bad. Terrible. Awful. Definitely, yes.” She didn’t sound very certain. Blushing, Takashi and Akikazu covered themselves.

“Why don’t you just tell us, very calmly and quickly, WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO US?!” Akikazu yelled, suddenly erupting.

“I’m SO sorry,” Shizue repeated, pulling off her gas mask. “It’s this new event that management thought up. A sort of mixed-bathing c-couples event. I didn’t think it was a g-good idea, but I’m just an attendant, I’m lucky I make minimum wage, who’d listen to me-”

“But what happened to us?” Takashi asked, bringing Shizue back on target.

“They put an aphrodisiac in the water!” Shizue wailed, bowing repeatedly. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! Please don’t tell my sister, I don’t want to get fired or molested!”

Takashi and Akikazu glanced at each other as the green-haired girl continued to blubber apologies. “I think,” Akikazu said tersely, “that we should go.”


Takashi pocketed the refund that Shizue had tearfully insisted he take as he stepped out into the dark streets near the Safehouse. He and Akikazu were now fully dressed, but they still hadn’t said a word to each other. This was the sort of awkward situation that made adopting a new identity in another country sound appealing.

‘Say something,’ he told himself. ‘Anything.’

Akikazu loudly cleared his throat. “Takashi,” he said, “how about we never talk about this again.”

Takashi nodded like a bobble head. “Yeah. Yeah, that is exactly what we should do. That wasn’t us doing that, it was the aphrodisiac,” he said.

“Exactly,” Akikazu said, nodding. “Nobody is ever going to find out about this.”

“That’s right.” Nod, nod. “We are friends, and friends do not do what we just nearly did.”

“And neither of us are secretly gay.” Nod.

“Keeping it a secret from the world because we’re afraid of what they might say.” Nod.

“Hiding our desires because we’re afraid that they’re wrong.”

“Bottling it all up inside and hoping it doesn’t…”

Slowly, their eyes met.

Suddenly, their actions were not directed by conscious thought, but by the urges they had been concealing ever since the day they had met, now brought to the surface. Akikazu forcefully clenched Takashi’s shoulders with his strong, wide hands, and pulled Takashi in to ki


“Hey, Fumika-chan, what are you working on?”

Fumika snapped back to reality. As Celeste leaned over to see what she was doing, Fumika hid the window containing her darkest secret, and brought up a file that she had kept open for just this sort of situation. Lines and lines of code filled the screen, and she smoothly transitioned to working on it without the speed of her typing slowing down. “I’m writing a program,” she lied. “Specifically, one that cracks through the encryption of a mainframe’s GUI via the process of pipelining, allowing me to extract the data I desire without being detected.”

It was total gibberish, but it worked. Celeste’s eyes lost focus, like all normals did whenever Fumika strung enough jargon together. “I see,” she said, nodding as she re-turned to her seat on the dilapidated train. “That’s, um, interesting.” She put her head-phones back on. Fumika returned to her secret project.

In need of more inspiration, she peripherally glanced at her muses over the top of her screen. There they were, sitting so tantalizingly close together. Takashi was talking at Akikazu, who was fervently insisting that he had no interest in whatever was being discussed, but Fumika could see the truth, hidden behind a silken veil. His protests were spineless, like he was silently pleading for Takashi to keep talking, to move a bit closer, to reach out and…

Fumika felt a familiar shameful, dirty heat start to build up. Her fingers danced over the keys, artfully weaving a reality that could never be. Obviously, Akikazu would be the pitcher, but that felt too simple for Fumika. She wondered what it would be like if he was the catcher instead, but no, her mind just kept on going back to the scandalous image of the mountainous Akikazu towering over Takashi, wrapping him in a firm embrace and looking down at him with glistening eyes, the expression mirrored on Takashi’s face…

Fumika bit her tongue and controlled her breathing. She couldn’t start panting, not when they were sitting directly across from her on the train. She was better than that. She had spent years of her life carefully cultivating her reputation as an asocial computer specialist – which she was – just so that people would never realize how deeply rotten she was.

Given the choice between revealing her mercenary history or her rotten nature, she would go to trial for murder, theft, and corporate espionage happy in the knowledge that nobody knew about her decaying, rotten, worm-fed heart.