Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- >Day Timelines in Equestria.
- >Walking down the street to visit the market for some groceries, whistling Pinkie's smile song along the way.
- >Bobbing your head to the catchy beat, you slide your hands in your pocket to count your bits.
- "One, Two, Three- shit!"
- >You fall face first into the ground, tossing your bits everywhere into the dirt.
- >"Got you- damn it!"
- >Looking up to see who is it, there's no-one around.
- >Dusting yourself off the ground, you look back to see what you tripped over.
- >There's nothing on the path.
- >You must be hearing things.
- >Cursing your bad luck and sanity, you pick up your bits and head off into the market.
- >"Hiya, Anon! Back so soon?"
- >Applejack smiles and wave at you.
- >What? You just arrived...
- >Disregarding the odd greeting, you smile and nod back.
- >Picking up a few apples and tossing some bits her way, she nods again in thanks.
- >Responding likewise, you proceed to move on.
- >That's one item off your shopping list, now for the next.
- >As you walk under the shade of a tree, the leaves start to rustle.
- >It's probably just some rowdy birds going at it, you shrug.
- "I've got you now, my prett- eep!"
- >Hmm?
- >You turn to look at the leaves, but they seem to stop moving altogether.
- >You shrug again, and head off.
- >Next stop, fish.
- >The local fishmonger's very nice, but her prices are a bit steep.
- >You'd haggle with her, but you wouldn't want to cause a roe.
- >Groaning at your own pun, you mentally slap yoursel- owch!
- >Did you... actually slap yourself with your mind?
- >This day just keeps getting weirder.
- >Fish, tick; Fishstick.
- >Now to get bread, and then go home.
- >Opening the door to Sugarcube Corner, you spot Pinkie humming a tune while baking in the back.
- >Walking up to the counter, you gaze at the spectacular glazed donuts on display.
- >"Hey wait a minute... How'd you get there so fast?"
- >Pinkie's head peeks around the door and soon, the rest of her body joins her.
- >Her eyes go wide in realisation and she gasps.
- >"Do you know how to teleport too!?"
- >She starts bouncing left and right, all around you, speaking garbled messages at the speed of pink.
- >One second, she's in front of you, a blink later, behind.
- >"Hi there Anon, what do you need?"
- >The voice breaks you out of focusing on the pink blur.
- >Looking back to the counter, you see Mr. Cake taking over serving.
- >"Whenever Pinkie goes off like this, I take over. Which is almost all the time..."
- >He sighs, then perks up again.
- >"Say, weren't you just in the kitchen a few seconds ago?"
- >You pout your lips and shake your head.
- >"Well, my mistake, so what can I get you?"
- >Before you can respond, Pinkie finally stops bouncing around and presents a box of muffins to you.
- >"-and here you go!"
- >Stare at her for a while, then shrug and grab the box.
- >Deposit a handful of bits on the counter, Mr. Cake nodding vigorously in thanks.
- >Walking out of the store, you notice a note sticking out of the box of muffins.
- 'Use on the yellow menace'
- >Oh, it's one of these days.
- >Finally, home, sweet, home.
- >Putting your foot up, you sigh in relaxation as the day begins to wind down.
- >Even though you expect a visit from Fluttershy anytime soon, you can't help but try to nap in this relaxing environm- oh who are you kidding, something bad is going to happen.
- >And the knocking starts.
- >Bracing yourself, you open the door to find said bad thing here.
- >"Anon! I've got your fetish right here!"
- >She produces a TV-remote looking thing from her satchel.
- >"Time Travel!"
- >You raise an eyebrow and kneel down to her level.
- "I can't believe you'd be smart enough to invent a thing like that."
- >Under your breath, you add,
- "Probably stole it from Twilight."
- >"Well, I am full of surprises..."
- >She blushes and hides her head behind her mane.
- >"Do you want to see what else I'm capable of?"
- "No. You're full of shit, do you even know how it works?"
- >"Umm, yeah... T-Twilight-"
- >Called it
- >"-said you press this button here, and-"
- >Her hoof presses the back button, and a beam of red light shoots you.
- >"Oh my!"
- >Suddenly, your world spins and you black out...
- >Day Timelines in Equestria.
- >You wake up in the middle of a park somewhere around Ponyville.
- >It's already approaching nighttime, the air is chilly and the sky is dark.
- >Remembering how you got here... oh that's right, that bitch knocked you out!
- >You begin to stomp angrily over to Fluttershy's cottage, but a clock tower starts ringing.
- >One bong.
- >Two bong.
- >Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eig- wait a minute...
- >It stopped at seven.
- >Remember you're wearing a watch.
- >It's seven... AM!
- >It's even the same date!
- >She did send you back in time!
- >Well, off to Fluttershy's cottage to kill her, since you've got the perfect alibi.
- >Sneaking in through a window, you carefully creep upstairs to Fluttershy's bedroom.
- >You hear her cute little snores, and slowly open her door.
- >Stealthily crawling to her bedside, you raise a pillow ready to smother her.
- >"Anon... I love you..."
- >She even squees in her sleep.
- >...Maybe killing her is a bit too harsh.
- >You set the pillow down, and get up to leave.
- >Checking to see if anyone's looking, you turn around and quickly pet her mane.
- >She coos and smiles back to silent sleep.
- >Smiling, you think about how she's really gotten over her shyness by talking with you.
- >Maybe she's not so bad after-
- >What the fuck is this.
- >Blueprints lay upon her desk, all read in bright red letters:
- OPERATION RAPE THE APE
- >They detail the ways she plans to kidnap you.
- >"Oh Anon~!"
- >Turning around, you're greeted by Fluttershy's marehood presented out to you.
- >"Come and ravage me!"
- >Nope the fuck out of that place.
- >It's the afternoon.
- >That's when the blueprints of Fluttershy's operation said it'll start.
- >Around the time you'll be walking to the market.
- >And there you are, the handsome hunk of a man.
- >You don't blame Fluttershy for wanting some of that.
- >Speaking of, there she is propping herself on a slingshot pointed straight at you.
- >Shit!
- >Sprinting towards the past you, you see yourself humming the smile song.
- >You're now putting your hands in your pockets and counting your bits.
- >Fluttershy is now at maximum slingshot potential.
- >"One, Two",
- >With a loud whipping noise, Fluttershy flies out of the slingshot faster than 3 sanics.
- "Three-"
- >You desperately dived in vain, and hit the foot of yourself.
- >"Shit!"
- >Down you go, face first into the dirt, Fluttershy shooting past you above.
- >"Got you- damn it!"
- >She continues flying all the way and crashes into a tree further down the path.
- >Quickly scrambling to your feet, you dive into the bushes.
- >"Just my fucking luck..."
- >You mumble of into the distance.
- >Tick that one off the list.
- >Apparently, behind the bushes was a neat shortcut to get to the market much quicker than before.
- >Also, you realise that you haven't eaten since breakfast.
- >Getting really hungry, you visit the stall closest to you.
- >Oh, it's Applejack's.
- >"Hiya, Anon. What can I get ya?"
- "Oh just an apple, thanks."
- >You toss her a bit and take an apple.
- >Before you're able to bite into it, you see yourself turning the corner.
- >Diving into a bushel of apples, you come by Applejack's stall and buy more apples.
- >"Back so soon?"
- >Silence.
- >Sounds of bits hitting her bitbox.
- >"Y-you too"
- > ...
- >As soon as the coast is clear, you burst out of the bushel and scramble to climb the big tree.
- >Fluttershy is poised above a branch, overlooking the path.
- >Any moment now, you're gonna be under her trap.
- >Not if you can help it.
- >Swinging from branch to branch, you close the distance between you and her.
- >"I've got you now, my prett- eep!"
- >Before she can finish her sentence, you tackle Fluttershy and put a hand over her mouth to silence her.
- >She struggles for a bit, before realising it's you.
- >She moans deep into your mouth, before passing out.
- >Did she just? Eww.
- >Now that Fluttershy's been taken care of, you decide to stalk yourself walking to the fishmonger's.
- >Isn't this where you...
- >You run past yourself with an outstretched palm and give yourself a well deserved slap.
- >Running all the way to Sugarcube Corner, you slip into the back where Pinkie is busy glazing her donuts.
- >"Hi there, Nonny! Wanna help me glaze these donuts?"
- "Uh, sure, only if you bake some muffins for me."
- >"Deal!"
- >You start to glaze the donuts while Pinkie stirs up the batter for the muffins.
- >While she isn't looking, you hastily scribble a note and slip it into the box.
- >You start humming the catchy tune of Pinkie's smile song from this morning.
- >"Oh I know that tune!"
- >She hums it too.
- >Goddamn catchy beat.
- >She's starting to pour the batter into the molds now, just as you're finished with the glazing.
- >"Good job, Nonny! I'll go display that right now for the world to see your spectacular work!"
- >She grabs the tray of donuts and brings it out to the front.
- >She returns just in time for the muffins to be ready.
- >As she turns to remove them from the oven, the doorbell rings and you dive under the table.
- >"Huh? Nonny, where'd you go? Hey wait a minute... How'd you get there so fast?"
- >You sneak out the back.
- >On the way back home, Twilight calls out to you from the library.
- >"Oh Anon, could you please help me with this?
- >You shrug and oblige.
- "What do you need?"
- >"I'm working on this Time VoRtEx ManipulatOr TEchnology (or TV REMOTE, for short), but I don't know whether it works or not, and I'm too afraid to test it on Spike. Could you please go make sure it's safe before I use it? For scientific research purposes, of course."
- >She hands you the device.
- >"Thanks Anon!"
- >She slams the door on your face.
- >Well shit.
- >Now you have to hand it over to Fluttershy, but she's still in the tree passed out.
- >Sigh.
- "Fluttershy, wake up."
- >You nudge her ribs.
- "Fluttershy!"
- >You poke her slightly harder.
- >Sighing to yourself for the millionth time, you whisper in her ear,
- "Twilight made this remote that lets you travel through time. Time travel is-"
- >You gulp.
- "-my fetish."
- >Almost instantly, Fluttershy springs back to life and snatches the remote out of your hands.
- >She tries to fly over to your house but can't shake the stiffness out of it.
- >She gallops off into the distance, in the direction of your house.
- "Well, I guess that's it."
- >You relax up in the tree, comforted in knowing that you've trapped yourself in a never-ending cycle of a time paradox.
- >"Is that your fetish, Anon?"
- >Your timeline Fluttershy snuggles up to your side.
- >The tent in your pants doesn't lie.
- "Yes it is, of course it is."
- >And for the rest of the time, sex happened.
- THE END
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement