A swedish teacher's open letter to parents.

To all the parents out there.

Do a good deed next year, and have this as your new year’s resolution: When my child says, the teacher has been unfair, I’ll start by asking what my child did before that. When I can’t remember important info, that I’ve already received, I’ll ask another parent about it BEFORE I email the teacher about it. I need to remember that every little thing I ask the teacher to fix for me takes time away from planning and evaluation of my child’s education.

If my child is ten years old, it’s able to take responsibility (assuming it does not have a condition or is dangerously ill). If a teacher calls to tell me about something that happened at school, I’ll always assume that the teacher is calling because they’re worried, not just to complain. Believe it or not, but teachers have better things to do than complain.
If I have questions about the school’s curriculum, I’ll be patient in order to show that I actually believe that the school has a plan for what they’re doing. Before I get involved in the school’s programming, I’ll ask myself: Who is the teacher? I promise that I’ll never shift my parenting responsibility onto the teachers. They’re in charge of educating democratic citizens, but parenting is my own responsibility.

I want to think about how I talk about school, education and teachers at home, because the mentality that allows one to do well at school is created at home. I’ll remember, that positive feedback and constructive criticism is a good way to foster change. I’m never going to scold my child, my child’s teacher or my ex-SO when we’re at a parent-teacher conference. I’m not gonna pick up the phone (at one) either, even if it’s important.

I am going to teach my children to think what they want, but to keep their mouth shut if it’s going to hurt someone else to open it. They need to learn to show respect for their seniors and to be an example to follow for their juniors. They need to learn to treat everyone equally, no matter their ethnicity, sex, class or sexuality. They need to say hello and goodbye. If my child’s teacher makes a typo, it doesn’t mean that the teacher is incompetent (probably just stressed).

If I find out that my child’s teacher smokes or drinks sometimes, I’m not going to accuse the teacher of being a bad role model – just a regular human being (unless the teacher is doing it during class hours, of course!). If I meet my child’s teacher in the supermarket, I’m not gonna spend her time talking about my child and the school. Finally, I’ll remember not just to ask the school what it can do for me, but also – just once in a while – ask what I can do for the school. Positive engagement is the best thing a parent can give to the school.