John Milter's ode to fallen

 I'm quitting TF2.

When I first played TF2, I had never played any other FPS. I had been running Linux for years; gaming was just a thing other people did.

But when Valve released the Linux alpha build of TF2, I figured "why not"? And it was great.

I remember being the Gibus-toting Pyro vision sniper, hitting a bodyshot perhaps once a game... but damn, it felt good when I did!

I remember being an annoying scout who couldn't hit anything, so I just used Bonk and the Force-a-Nature.

I remember being a soldier who had no idea how to rocket jump in any direction besides straight up.

I remember unlocking the Wrangler, playing on Thunder Mountain defense and being amazed at how cool it was.

I remember realizing that I was bad, spending hours and hours on tee are walkway, practicing airblasts, taking down sentries, and aim.

I remember seeing a Scout frag video, and I knew right then I wanted to do that, I wanted to be like them.

I remember awkwardly connecting to an MGE server for the first time, having no idea what to do, and getting totally stomped. (Also, I think I got kicked for playing Scout on spire.)

I remember slowly becoming able to tie people... then beat them.

I remember playing my first lobby, as Heavy. I had no idea what to do there, either- pushing Badwater last I went through flank alone with the Tomislav. I got yelled at.

I got better.

I remember playing my first 6s lobby. I got stomped.

I got better.

I remember posting on the UGC 6s forums, looking for an Iron team.

I remember finding one.

I remember the team falling apart, and I remember another team letting me play for them. A Steel team.

I remember our first match.

I remember our last match.

I remember yelling, late at night, at my computer, hoping to get a few extra frames, just to be playable.

I remember not getting them.

I remember changing my net settings, reading Source engine docs for hours, praying to the gods of TCP/IP that perhaps the problem was there, that maybe if I got the right configuration it would just go away.

I remember that it didn't.

I remember every update slowly, inexorably, decreasing FPS.

I remember deciding that maybe TF2 ran better on Windows, and installing a (definitely not pirated) copy of Windows 7, hoping that it would be better optimized for that.

I remember that, if anything, it ran worse.

I knew what it was, of course. My CPU, an ancient Core 2 Duo, just couldn't get a consistent framerate running TF2's fancy physics.

I can't buy a new one. The only reason I have this computer is because it was free. The GPU came from a friend, who had tried to mine Bitcoins on it.

Guys, girls, people outside the gender binary, I really appreciated our time together. But it's just not fun to be held back by my hardware- lags and stutter all around, and more rubberbanding than a condom orchestra.

And even if I had an absurdly expensive gaming PC, I would still be leaving TF2. The game design choices made in TF2 are, in my opinion, pretty crap. The Engineer's Sentry Gun, for example. Or the fact that the Medic needs an UberCharge.

 In competitive settings, these can be countered to some degree with class limits and item bans. But honestly, a game in which the casual and competitive are so vastly different does not appeal to me.

And so, as much as I loved playing with you... I just won't be doing it anymore.

Can we just be Steam friends?