[FLUTTERRAPE] Anonymous - Sex Bomb

>Day Sensual in Equestria
>You are Mayor Mare
>As you have been for the last 15 years
>Wake up in your office again, a bottle of Gin next to your head, which is lying on the desk
>Take a while to get your bearings, staring at the door facing you for a second
>Shake your head
>Slap yourself
>Scratch a developing itch on your foreleg
>Smile sleepily and look around your office
>Pictures of you with various important figures adorn the walls
>You with the Griffon Lord, taken about 13 years ago
>You with the last living descendent of the Priests of Harmony
>You with your daughter, long since moved away to Canterlot to pursue her art career
>A great number of photographs of you with Princess Celestia, since she seems to drop by every other month
>You study the pictures for a while longer until your eyes settle on the most recent, and by far most peculiar
>You shaking hooves, or rather, 'hands' with the town's most bizarre inhabitant - Anonymous. The resident Alien.
>He came by about a year and a half ago. Literally dropped out of the sky and created a huge crater in the town square that you had to fix using the 'new roof' budget
>Frown at the picture
>Some heralded him as the beginning of the end, and given this town's history with over exaggerated drama; everyone quickly either took up arms against him or started cults worshipping him.
>Anonymous reacted to both with the same response
>Gratuitous amounts of swearing, shouting, and slaps across the face
>Nowadays he strolls around town looking for odd-jobs and causing trouble wherever he sees fit

1/?

>You peer closely at the picture
>Anonymous and you are both smiling at the camera, your hoof in his hand.
>He was very civil during the photo shoot, especially after he threw a vase at the camera-man for suggesting that Anon be kept on a leash
>But something you had never noticed before has caught your eye
>Looking closer, the window you and Anon are stood in front of is being occupied
>Right in the corner of it, a small yellow face with teal eyes and a pink mane is looking through the glass and at Anonymous
>Raise an eyebrow
>Looks a lot like Fluttershy
>Shake your head and sigh
>Of course it's Fluttershy. She hasn't left the poor human alone since he got here
>Half the trouble he's involved in also involves her
>Silly little thing, she is.
>Still, it's harmless shenanigans.
>...Most of the time
>You recall the moment where Anon was stood on the top flag pole of the town hall, completely naked and beating his chest while Fluttershy circled around the human, throwing bits of fruit at him
>Admittedly, it was a fantastic boost to the town's tourist trade. But other than that it was just awkward to watch
>You walk back over to your desk and place the gin back in the top drawer
>Then you head towards the office door and walk down to the Town Hall's kitchen
>This isn't the first time you've done this. Not by a long shot.

2/?

>Late nights at the office usually end with you getting drunk and... Experimenting with yourself
>You blush slightly and try not to think about your drunken antics while you head towards the kitchen
>Nudging open the door you go over to the fridge
>Gotta be a daisy sandwich in here left over, or anything that can fill the growing void in your stomach
>You go to pull open the fridge door when the entire thing shudders, and a loud bang occurs from the inside
>You take a step back and stare at the fridge
>Clearly it isn't pleased with its current sacrifices and requires the blood of a virgin
>This has happened before, after the first Cult of Anon cropped up, they started enchanting household objects with black magic
>Bloody cultists
>You grumble and grab a knife from a nearby knife-block, ready to do early morning CQC with the blood hungry fridge while also hung-over
>The shit you do for this town
>The fridge door opens
>You brace yourself
>And out climbs Anon

3/?

>You both hold each other's gazes for a minute
>He slowly eases himself out of the fridge
>How he got in there to begin with, you're not sure
>He looks to the left and the right, then back at you
>"Heeeey..."
...Hey.
>He is, once again, naked. Seems like every time you meet him his clothes just vanish
>You blush again
>Of course, you haven't done THAT with him... It's just... Circumstance.
>You don't need to look down. You've already seen his package enough to know how big it is
>Several stallions around Ponyville are rather jealous. Let's just leave it at that.
>He wipes some flour off his skin and coughs into a fist
>"Listen... This might look weird, but I swear to god I can explain"
>You raise an eyebrow at him and motion for him to continue
>"Well, see. There was Fluttershy involved... And she wanted to know if food was my fetish... Things got a bit complicated."
>He ruffles his hair and some eggshells fall out
>His entire front is covered in egg yolk
>His crotch is smeared with dried Peach Jam
>You can't even begin to imagine what the poor guy went through last night
>"...So as a result, I had to stay the night in your fridge. Sorry."
>You didn't catch any of that, but you smile and nod at him anyway

4/?

>He smiles back, satisfied that you were listening
>"Ok! Well. I'm uhh, gonna go home."
>He stares at you for a second
>"Bye."
>Then casually strolls out the door as if nothing happened
>You watch him go, his tight buttocks bouncing slightly with each step
>You catch yourself biting your lower lip
Snap out of it, Mayor.
>You say under your breath
>Look back at the fridge
>It's a complete wreck
>Notice a small half-eaten bun on the bottom shelf that hadn't been crushed by Anon
>Pick it up and eat it
>Don't judge.
>Food's food.

>Once you finish eating whatever was in the fridge, you head back up to the office and sit down
>Tap your hooves together and sigh
>The clock is ticking
>Your secretary doesn't get in for another 30 minutes
>You eye the top drawer of the desk
...
>Oh come on, you deserve something after that fright this morning.

5/?

>2 hours later you're trotting through town
>Busy busy busy!
>First you have an appointment at Sweet Apple Acres regarding Applejack's food output
>A growing town needs a growing food supply
>You stroll down the country roads, looking at the trees and humming
>So much to do, such little time
>You turn down a side road on the way to the farm, the morning sun beaming down on you
>Smile
>You love this town
>Hell, without sounding like one of those "Hippy-ponies" that your daughter was for a few months, you love life.
>It's full of excitements. You just never know what's around the corner-
>You turn a corner
>Anonymous, fully clothed, leaps over a log and pulls out a hand axe, before hurling it back the way he came
>It embeds itself in a tree trunk
>"NOT TODAY, YOU FUCKER!"
>He sprints on past you, not even stopping to acknowledge that you were there
>A mere second later, Fluttershy explodes out of the bush next to the tree the axe was embedded in
>"LOVE ME, YOU CELESTIA-DAMNED APE!"
>She growls and flies after him
>You stand there and blink a few times
>Look at the hand-axe, stuck fast in the tree trunk
>Good thing it missed. Fluttershy would have been killed
>Walk up to it and grip it with your mouth
>Tug and pull, grunting slightly
>After one last pull you tear it out of the bark and carry on towards the farm

6/?

>Applejack is moving some farm equipment around
>You trot on up to her, ready to be all professional.
>Got to keep up appearances around here, or ponies might think-
>"Uhh, Ms Mayor? Why're ya holdin' an axe?"
>Oh bugger.
>You spit out the axe and laugh nervously
Oh, that. Uhh. It was ahh... Anonymous and Fluttershy.
>Applejack nods understandingly
>"Ah see. Yeah, I wondered what they were both doin' 'round these parts."
>You both chat about Anon for a while before getting down to business
>Applejack agrees to expand her orchard sizes as long as you provide her with a bigger budget, of which you're all too happy to do so.
>You make your way back towards the town, thinking about Anonymous
>Where did he even get an axe?
>As you approach town hall you see a huge group of ponies outside it, shouting
>Panic fills you
>Dammit! They know that you're dealing with the black market to keep the town economy afloat!
>Readying your best excuses and linguistic loopholes, you prepare to give a rousing speech to rally the town in your favour
>The ponies see you coming and let you past
>You trot up to the podium that is set up at the front
>Your secretary stands beside it, looking haggard
>Poor dear
>Taking your stand, you clear your throat, getting the attention of the crowd
Now, I know you're all wondering why I did it. But I love this town and am not afraid to-
>"WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT ANON!"
...To do something about Anon! Yes!

7/?

>You smile at the crowd
>Your smile falters
What?
>"Anonymous! The Human! He's out of control!"
>The rest of the ponies agree with the mare that said it
Ahh, why? What in Equestria is wrong with Anon?
>You choose to forget what just happened with the Axe and the attempted murder
>"He's promiscuous! Vile! And is a threat to our foals!"
>More agreements
Now now, settle down. What exactly do you mean "Promiscuous"?
>The mare takes a step forward and lets her voice be heard
>"Anonymous is a bad influence on this town! He sleeps around and is ruining our families with his immature and irresponsible behaviour! I've put up with him for a year and a half, but something needs to be done!"
>Yet more ponies shout their approval
>You stare at her
So what you're saying is... Anonymous is bad because he... Sleeps with ponies?
>"Yes!"
>Well shit. This is news to you. You didn't think Anon's stable door swung that way
>Maybe you can-
>Focus, Mayor. Focus.
Well, ahh. I'm sure what Anon does in his own time is his own business, ma'am. I fail to see what the problem is here.

8/?

>"The problem is that he and his little... HARLOT, that 'Fluttershy' character, are always performing grotesque sexual acts in public!"
If I might offer a rebuttal, those acts are hardly Anon's fault. They're more to do with Fluttershy.
>"It is still depraved! And what if our foals try to impersonate it? What then?"
I'm sure that your foals are smart enough NOT to try this, ma'am. You need to give them a little bit more credit.
>Several ponies murmur in agreement from that last remark
>The mare is getting flustered, and is losing support from the rest of the crowd
>You notice that there are actually no children in this crowd
>You can use this to your advantage, and appeal to the adult side of them
Besides, it's just sex! There's nothing wrong with having a bit of fun now and then, right?
>A mare stood at the front quickly blurts out an answer
>"Yeah! It's just sex with Anon! What's wrong with that!?"
>Every single pony stares at her, even you
Uhh.
>The pony shuffles nervously
>You raise an eyebrow
What do you mean, "Sex with Anon"? I was referring to just sex in general.
>She blushes deeply and cowers a little under the gaze of her peers
>"I-I... Umm... W-well Anon is a really great guy..."
>Another mare stood next to her groans
>"Oh my god, Rose. Did you sleep with ANON?!"
>"M-maybe..."
>The crowd groans

9/?

>Rose suddenly gets bolder
>"W-why do you sound so hostile anyway, Lily? Everyp0ny knows you have a thing for Anon!"
>Several "oohs" from the crowd
>"He wasn't even that good in bed!"
>She quickly slaps some hooves over her mouth, but it's too late
>Rose laughs
>"HA! You slept with him, didn't you?"
>The original reason for the crowd all but forgotten, every pony suddenly starts shouting at Lily and Rose for not "Being a proper Pony"
>Calls of blatant racism are heard and various curses and hooves are pointed at the wrong people
>"I BLAME THE GRIFFONS! IT'S THEIR ANCIENT BLOOD RITUALS THAT HAVE CURSED OUR TOWN WITH PROMISCUITY!"
>"YOU'RE WRONG! IT'S A GOVERNMENT PLOT TO ESTABLISH ORDER OVER THE POPULATION!"
>"I BET THE JAHOOVES DID THIS."
>You rest your forehead on the podium and sigh
>Raise your head again and look at your secretary
>She's doing the crossword puzzle in today's paper
>Look back at the crowd
>They have stopped the initial shitstorm and are now blaming each other
>"I'll have you know that I have over 300 confirmed clients, I'm a far better lawyer than you'll ever be!"
>"Can it, Timeturner. You're not even a real lawyer."
>"HOW DARE YOU!"

10/?

All of you! Be quiet!
>The mare arguing with Timeturner looks flushed and looks back at you
>"I'm sorry, Ms Mayor, but my family has upheld pony tradition of generations! None of us would consort with a... 'Human'!"
>Weren't they talking about Law?
>Whatever...
>The mare's husband shuffles and goes bright red
>The mare catches on
>"...Darling?"
>He laughs nervously
>"Y-yeah, we wouldn't d-dare consort..."
>She stares at him
>Her jaw slowly drops open
>He puts on a fake smile
>A vein on the mare's forehead pops out
>You raise your eyebrows. Both of them, this time
>This is getting interesting
>"D-darling. Did you SLEEP. WITH A HUMAN?!"
>The stallion tries to take control
>"Now, honeybun, I'll have you know that I was drunk and-"
>"YOU ARE GETTING DRUNK BEHIND MY BACK?! YOU WERE 10 YEARS SOBER!"
>The shit storm begins anew
>Ponies everywhere start shouting at each other
>You watch in awe as nearly half of Ponyville confesses to some form of sexual activity with the local Alien
>Eventually you decide to impose order

11/?

BEEE QUIIIEEEET!
>Eveyp0ny freezes and looks at you
>You pant
Now... Is there anyone here who HASN'T had sex with Anonymous?
>A single hoof raises at the back
>It's yellow
>And attached to Fluttershy
>You try not to snicker
>She speaks up, looking at everyone in the crowd from behind her mane
>"Umm... W-what do you all mean you s-slept with Anon?"
>Everyp0ny avoids her gaze
>You just stare
>This whole scene is bewildering
>Not only because half the town actually slept with an alien lifeform, but the only pony who actually SEEMS like she wants to, hasn't done.
>Before anyone can say anything, Anon strolls onto the stage, drinking a milkshake and carrying a newspaper under his arm
>He seemingly just realises where he is, and looks around
>"Oh. Uhh. Hi, guys. What's new?"
>Fluttershy rises above the crowd, her face a picture of the purest rage imaginable
>"ANONYMOUS! WHY HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH HALF THE TOWN?!"
>He blankly looks at her
>"Uhh. I was drunk."
>She screams like a banshee and flies at him
>He shouts in panic and runs off the stage, dropping his milkshake and newspaper as he runs
>The crowd, you, and your secretary watch him go
>Silence reigns for a few moments
>You turn your gaze back to the crowd

12/?

>They're all looking at something on the stage
>You follow their eyes and look down
>Anon's milkshake is lying in a puddle of banana-flavoured goodness on the wooden stage
>After a while, Rose says something very slowly.
>"...His lips touched that straw."
>The cat was out of the bag
>Everyp0ny knew everyp0ny else's darkest secrets
>There was nothing to hide anymore
>This realisation hits you and your eyes widen in panic
>Your head bolts up and you face the crowd once more
REMAIN CALM EVERP-
>"HIS LIPS TOUCHED THAT STRAW!"
>You scream as every stallion and mare swarms the stage, desperate to get their hooves on the precious artefact
>With your final breath you curse the one that caused all this before you get consumed by the sea of ponies fighting over the straw
FUCKING ANON!

13/13
The End