God fucking damn it. This has been the bloody fourth time this week I took an arrow in the knee. That fucking enemy keeps shooting me in the knee, like it’s some Achilles’ heel or some shit. I was about to Fus Ro Dah the shit out of him, but NOOO, he shot me in the knee. I fucking hate my life. Why am I here anyways? Well, before I ragequit, I’m going to get the fucking asshole and murder him. Might as well to wait for my retarded crew to rest up or some shit and we’ll head out to the Forests of Narnia.
So, like after 10 minutes of shitting and crap, we set out to the Forest of Aeridani or shit. Quick note is that the place is a shithole. Bandits everywhere trying to steal yo’ shizz, monkeys throwing banana-cock thing at your face, and FUCKING CHICKENS. They’re fucking trying to spy you so they can tell their overlord info about us. This has happened twice, and one of them was a bud of mine. So I made a note to kill EVERY chicken on sight. Even if they look innocent. They’re little shits anyways.
Back on topic, we went around the place and did teeny weeny stuff like shooting chickens and the sun while waiting for that little fucker to come out. After like two days of camping and shitting in holes, he finally came but with no weapon. So I told my crew to stay in the shitty tent just so they don’t fuck this up and I went towards the little guy. He was like, what, 14 or 15 years old? This little shit is actually good at shooting people in the knee. Might as well clean the world by killing this piece of crap. The world would be a better place.
I began to get into position to slash at him but he deflected my sword with his bare arms. What the fuck? Is he like Superboy or something? ‘Cuz I know the Ministry of Magic does this shit, but seriously, the fuck? I jumped back a few feet and he stood up. The dude tried to a jump attack and kick me in the face. Hell no I was gonna let him do that. He’s not gonna do anything with his shitty jump. He can’t even do a proper punch!
I blocked with all my awesomeness, but he still got in and made a mark on my right eye. FUCK. That eye was a good thing. It was a sign of awesomeness in the Republic of Ethanthova. It took a shit ton of time to get the eye, but this little fucker had to break it. Contained with rage, I got out my bow and quickly shot him in the knee. He staggered backward, his face full of rage and shock, and I only watched him as he into the pit below. I went at him in lightning speed and grabbed him. I held the douche up, kicked him in the shins, and yelled “THIS IS SKYRIM, BITCH!”.  I released him and watched his ragdoll torn into pieces. Yep, all in a days work. So I exited out the game, saved it, and went to play Barbie toys. Yeah, that’s how I’m awesome, bitches.