Tasogare v3

[UTW-Underwater]
**3:34 - Context (recurring from before): It's the rumor he remembered, not the voice.
*5:09 - Missing line (minor): "Impossible."
20:51 - Consistency (negligible): I can't think of a non-awkward way to insert "wrong reasons" here, and "you didn't mean to" kind of implies that, but a term that fits both could've been chosen. Flow.

[WhyNot]
*0:08 - Dodge (minor): "A story about me that... / I don't remember." / I think "story about me" is too important here to be omitted. Changing to English structure is better than simplification.
**0:27 - Context: "Those interconnected buildings preserved 60 years of history." / The buildings "sealed off 60 years", as in nothing's changed inside.
**0:37 - "Hallways leading to dead ends." / Poorly thought-out expansion of buildings.
*4:26 - Text Length (minor): Unreadable.
**8:12 - Error: "I need more than just a ghost story" / Reverse of what's actually said. This line doesn't have to make sense at this point. She means she needs to be a bigger existence than a ghost story to be seen.
*11:43 - Error (minor): "participate" -> "start", remove "regular"
*20:51 - Consistency (minor): "It's not like you had an ulterior motive, right?" / Direct reference vs 13:14.

[Crunchyroll]
*4:28 - Nuance (minor): "You silly boy." / "Unlucky" is not implied here.
**13:14 - Error: "you shouldn't touch a girl with such impure intentions." / Original line makes no sense.
*19:38 - Context (minor): "Fortunately, I have the real talisman!" / Killed the joke.
*20:53 - Consistency (minor): "You didn't act on impure intentions, right?" / Direct reference vs 13:14.
**21:07 - Consistency/style: "Hide-and-catch", "Hide-and-seek" were used. I am also not impressed with "hide-and-seek" being same name as the real game. Attempts should be made to differentiate.

[Hadena]
*0:03 - Nuance (minor): "then" -> "when" / Continuity.
*0:08 - Dodge (minor): "A story about me that... / I don't remember." / I think "story about me" is too important here to be omitted. Changing to English structure is better than simplification.
**0:27 - Context: "Those interconnected buildings preserved 60 years of history." / The buildings "sealed off 60 years", as in nothing's changed inside.
**0:37 - "Hallways leading to dead ends." / Poorly thought-out expansion of buildings.
*5:47 - Nuance/Scriptwriting (minor): "Don't you think it doesn't really matter?" / Rhetorical question. Definitely not "anymore".
6:40 - Nuance (negligible): "Didn't she already know my name?" / No need to reverse, excessive editing.
*6:57 - Error (major on unimportant line): "Oh, I see how it is." / Reverse.
**8:20 - Error: "I need more than just a ghost story." / Reverse of what's actually said. This line doesn't have to make sense at this point. She means she needs to be a bigger existence than a ghost story to be seen.
8:22 - Error (continued): "It's not grounded in reality."
*8:55 - Error: "It feels more like I got haunted by a ghost." / Word choice. Continuity vs 9:01
*10:50 - Scriptwriting (minor): "alongside her" is made up.
*11:47 - Scriptwriting (minor): "The rumors must have been exaggerated over time." / No.
{I've seen enough. This is actually watchable, but not worth it when it's so oversubbed.}

[Commie]
*0:43+0:47 - Liberal (arguable): "These factors have spawned many urban legends{OR mysterious rumors}." / "Peculiarity" is not implied in this line.
*3:23 - Style/WTF? (minor): Ended the sentence.
*4:28 - Nuance (minor): "You silly boy." / "Unlucky" is not implied here. Literally "klutz".
*19:38 - Context (minor): "Fortunately, I have the real talisman!" / Killed the joke.
*20:53 - Consistency (minor): "You didn't act on impure intentions, right?" / Direct reference vs 13:14.