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- Five finger special.
- based on: http://pastebin.com/D3YGqAWu
- >Man last week was fun.
- >But between lifting with Roid, Work, and dealing with the Cake's kids, your week has gotten pretty boring.
- >Time to get out your old friend.
- >Luck old bottle.
- >This was the first beer you ever had in Equestria.
- >This little thing has sent you on many adventures, even after you had finished downing it's contents.
- >You had used lucky bottle to brighten up your days here in Equestria many a time.
- >Simply spin bottle, see who he lands on, and give their ass a high five.
- >It didn't matter who he landed on, their ass was getting smacked.
- >Because it's not gay unless your junk touches.
- >You were in the middle of Ponyville.
- >Something involving the Princess was going on. Probably a speech or some shit.
- >You and lucky bottle were going to check it out.
- >Your suspicions were confirmed when you arrived upon the scene.
- >The Princess was giving a speech about lower taxes.
- >You decided to make an entrance, and show her your support for her decision.
- >You walked straight up to her took out lucky bottle, and sat on the ground. There would be no second spins for this one.
- >"What are you doing Anonymous? And why are you interrupting my speech?"
- >This was the moment of truth.
- >Time to use those hands dexterity and flexibility to their full extent.
- >You wound up lucky bottle in your wrist...
- >And spun.
- >All of Ponyville watched as the bottle spun.
- >The unknowing simply gazed at you, while those who knew of your previous adventures,(and supported you) faces were twisted into excitement.
- >As lucky bottle's spin slowed, you crossed your fingers for luck.
- >Cheerilee, Roseluck, a royal guard, another... YES!
- >Right smack dab on Celestia!
- >You looked up at Celestia with a face full of glee for what you were about to do.
- Congratulations Princess Celestia, you get one FIVE FINGER SPECIAL!!
- >Your supporters cat calls rang out in the crowd. "Anonymous, you dog!"
- >"What's a five finger special, and how is this relevant to my speech?"
- >You ignored her, for it was ass slapping time.
- >You walked to her backside. Paying no attention to the royal guard who were looking out for any of your funny business.
- >They were about to get a whole face full of funny business.
- >You wound up your swing, savoured the moment, and swung.
- >"Anonym- *YELP!*"
- >You waited just long enough to hear your supporters cheers, before taking a hasty leave.
- >You were already outside of her levitation spell when Celestia ordered her guard to seize you.
- Run run as fast as you can, I can run as fast as a black man~!
- The chase was on.
- 1/?
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