Subpar thing what I dropped - safe to ignore.

>Day whogivesafuck
>Did you know Twilight was allergic to bees?
>You do now!
>You also know now that it is... unwise... to challenge Pinkie to any sort of consumption contest, be it sweets, meats, or even delishamous alcomohols.
>You ALSO know now that Gummy is not to be trusted.
>You also ALSO know now that alligators and bees get along much better than you'd expect.

>Learning is fun.

>Hello ground.  Did you forget?  You were reviewing the lessons of the day while you plummeted towards your untimely demise.  Just a few more seconds until you-
>OOF
>Go flying sideways?
>Aw shit yeah!  Motherfuckin' Dash saving your ass once again like a total goddamn champion.
>You lean in to kiss her (YES, YOU LOVE THIS HORSE AND YOU'RE BARELY ASHAMED ANYMORE - the two of you almost told the others yesterday but you chickened out at the last minute) when suddenly the most awfully cliche and retarded thing goes wrong.
>Twilight's horrific bee allergy gave her some kind of magic hiccup and she threw out a spell at random.  You didn't have time to notice what exactly it was, but something large and heavy was teleported to the space over your head and fell, slamming you and Dash into the ground.
>Everything went black.

>You peel your eyes open, finding yourself in a cozy room in a rustic cottage.  The furniture is a bit small.
>You can hear a voice humming from another room, and you're reasonably certain those are pancakes you smell.
>You aren't sure where you are or what's happened, but you're positive that pancakes will help.
>Ignoring the dull ache coursing through your whole body, you lift the covers and stand.
>The humming has stopped, and you hear quiet steps drifting slowly toward the door.  Something's odd about them, though.  They're rapid as hell, like whoever it is is running, but still very soft and quiet.
>The door creaks open.

>"Dflapinglnrmramrod."

>Is that horse trying to talk?  And holding a plate in its mouth?  That is a very well trained horse!
>It is also rather disconcertingly different from any horse you've ever seen before.  Smaller, more expressive, way more brightly colored...
>Is it... offering you pancakes?
>You reach forward and grab the plate.  You swear the damn thing smiles at you.

>"Cherberussialake."

>Whatever's going on, these pancakes are fucking delicious.  You swallow the little piece of heaven.
>"Thanks, horse thing."

>Suddenly, it looks worried.
>"Fnargolhookerdropgrem?"

>"Uh, look, horsie... I don't speak whatever it is you're speaking.  I'm very grateful that you apparently took me in after whatever heroic accident I got into, and I'm VERY grateful for the pancakes, but I'm lost here.  I've seen some shit in my life.  I'm willing to accept that you're intelligent, and I'm only going to freak out a little bit about all this, but I'm afraid there's a communication barrier.  Maybe we can draw some pictures?"

>It looks scared now.  Kinda backing away and shivering and cowering.
>"Kwehkupo."

>Well quit scaring the poor thing!  Kneel down, lower your voice, be as unthreatening as possible!
>"Sorry.  It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you."
>Yeah, as if it can understand what you're saying.  Dumbass.
>Oh god, is about to start crying?  Please don't.  You don't think your heart could take it if this thing burst into tears because of you.

>It sniffles a little.
>"Geotambrequ, Rainbow Dash lerqwamn."

>Did you just understand some of that?  Something something Rainbow Dash something?
>"Hey, what did... what did you just say?  Rainbow Dash?"

>Its eyes widen.
>"Leptonbrekzor Rainbow Dash?"

>"Something in German, and then Rainbow Dash again.  Those two words I think I get.  I have no idea what you mean, but it's a start."

>It sits, adorably, apparently thinking for a while.  Then it points one of its hooves at itself.
>"Fluttershy."

>The fuck?  You point back.
>"Fluttershy."

>It nods.

>Well that's certainly unusual.  You point at yourself.
>"Anonymous."

>It points at you, smiles, and nods.
>"Anonymous."

>Progress!  Talky horsies have a concept similar enough to "names" that you can understand eachother a bit.
>You point at the pancakes.
>"Pancakes."

>She closes her eyes and shakes her head, then grabs you by the hand and leads you down the stairs.
>Apparently you're going on a field trip today.
>The two of you step out of the little cottage and into the absurdly bright and colorful world.  You can see a town a short distance away, and that seems to be the direction you're moving.
>There's a blurry streak of blue in front of you, and suddenly you're confronted with another talky horsie.

>"Nerflailkando Anon gunkatazorb!"

>You reel back slightly and turn towards Fluttershy.

>She gently pushes the blue one away from you.
>"Anonymous xemnawehj," she says to the blue one before turning back to you.  She points at the blue, and as you're just noticing - winged - horse.  "Rainbow Dash."

>Got it.  Yellowquiet is Fluttershy, and blueloud is Rainbow Dash.  And apparently Rainbow Dash is barely holding back some tears.
>Something... something is off here.  When Fluttershy almost cried, you wanted it to stop because... well, watching her cry would be like watching a kitten die.  This is tugging at you just as hard, if not harder, but you can't place what it is.  It's not that "ohgodpleasedon'thurtcutekitteh" instinct from before.  It's something else.
>You lean forward and wipe some of the moisture away from her eyes.
>At least, you're pretty sure it's a girl.  You'd bet that both of them are, but you'd rather not check.
>She seems to take a lot of comfort from that simple gesture.
>The three of you resume the walk toward the town and eventually come up to a big, hollowed out tree-building thingy.  Judging by the picture of books on the sign, you'd guess this was the town's library.

>A purple horse comes out of the front door, covered in discolored bumps, but looking very excited.
>"Bartelmonodrwhocrayonskimonokoalakaratemarcopoloterbalabadente Celestia qweldamda-"

>Rainbow Dash puts one of her hooves over the new horse's mouth.
>"Twilight, Anon jemblaternaldokorozeld."

>The purple one squints and stares at you for a few seconds before turning back to the others.
>[Making up gibberish and occasionally throwing real words/names in because you're bored is stupid.  From now on, unintelligible dialogue is going to be random bullshit between brackets.]

>Fluttershy shakes her head.
>[What's the deal with airline food?]
>She looks back to you and points at the purple one.
>"Twilight Sparkle."

>You nod.
>The three horses around you have a very animated conversation before all of you end up heading inside and down some stairs.  There's some kind of crazy basement laboratory underneath the library.
>There's all sorts of shit down here, like tesla coils and freaky glowing magic shit and a table with a horse strapped to it-
>Err... what?  Like, not one of them.  Like a REGULAR horse.  That doesn't talk.

>"Somebody, help me!  Please!"

>Oookay, so maybe it does.
>"Hello?"

>"OH THANK GOD, SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS ME!"

>"YOU understand ME?"

>"Yeah, I don't get it either.  You're a human, I'm a horse, those... things are almost horses, but all they do is spout gibberish."

>"I know!  It's weird!"

>The colorful talking horses are stunned into silence by the conversation they presumably can't understand.  Twilight Sparkle - who you noticed a little while ago has a horn that's now glowing - looks like she's taking notes.  But the pencil is floating?

>"So, uh... what... where do we start here?"

>"Maybe untying me?  Pretty uncomfortable."

>You nod and reach forward, but are stopped by a glowing blob of who-knows-what.

>Twilight Sparkle is eyeing you suspiciously.
>[Search deviantart for X the hedgehog, where X is something you used to love.  Weep softly.]

>You stare silently at her.
>The glowy forcefield dissipates and you undo the horse's restraints.

>It scrambles to its hooves.
>"That feels MUCH better.  So okay, I don't know who you are or where we are or what's going on.  Maybe we could share notes on any of that?  I was grazing on some grass, there was a flash of light, and then I was here, tied to that table.  You?"

>"Uh... I can't remember.  I was... somewhere.  Doing, most likely, something.  And then I was here.  Oh, and Fluttershy made me pancakes!"

>"Helpful.  Who's Fluttershy?"

>You point at the shy yellow horse that ALSO has wings like Rainbow Dash, but apparently keeps them folded up all the time.  You point around the room, naming each creature and ending with yourself.

>The horse nods.  "And I'm Buttercup.  So that's all we know?"

>"Yeah, I think so.  But I can sorta communicate with them.  Names, at least."

>"Well that's just great.  Stuck in a strange land without any idea what's going on."

>"It's not so bad here.  They're all really nice, and my house is pretty-"
>Wait, what?  How the hell would you know what they're like?  And why would you have a house here?
>Aw, shit, is that what's going on?  That shittiest of tropes, the amnesiac protagonist?
>The whole way along your journey, all the important details are kept hidden while the author snickers about how much the reader doesn't understand?

>"So are you just gonna stand there with your jaw hanging open, or are you going to tell me what you just came up with?"

>You shake yourself out of it.  "Right.  Okay, so I DO know a bunch of stuff, but I uh... I forgot it.  I'm pretty sure I live here and these ponies know me.  They're worried about me."

>The horse rears up and lets out a loud whinny.  "That's great news!  All we need to do is wait for your memories to come back and then you can help me!"

>"Fuck that.  I can help you NOW!  They can't understand you, I can.  Birds of a feather and all that, yeah?  You come stay with me."
>You point at Twilight Sparkle, then the tree around you.  You point at yourself, and then shrug your shoulders.

>Twilight appears to be thinking for a few seconds before the proverbial lightbulb goes off.  She points in a direction.

>You look over at Buttercup and smile.  "Bingo."

>Buttercup gallops over and shoves her muzzle underneath you, launching you up into the air with her startlingly powerful neck.  She catches you on her back and runs up the stairs.  Girl has SKILLS.
>Before long, you're coming up on a building that looks way too familiar to be anything but your home.
>You point and shout excitedly, and Buttercup slows to a stop.

>"This is definitely the place.  I don't think I have, like, a stable or whatever, but I'm pretty sure we can find SOMEWHERE for you to be."

>"Anything's better than a table."

>The two of you share a laugh before Rainbow Dash storms out of the sky and sends a clowd of debris up well over the tallest building in town.
>"ANON, [ONE OF THESE DAYS, ALICE...]??!?"
>She looks PISSED.

>"Whoah, calm down, Dash!  What'd I do?"

>[IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN!]

>"I know you're mad.  I'd like it if you weren't, but I can't really do anything if I don't know what's wrong."

>[WILL ROSS AND RACHEL EVER QUIT BEING RETARDED?]

>Well this is going swimmingly.  She yells nonsense and you ask questions she can't understand.  You two must have had some sort of agreement you're violating.
>It's not exactly your fault.  You literally don't know what it is.

>Buttercup starts stamping her hooves impatiently.
>"Hey, c'mon.  It's not like you can do anything for her right now.  She's upset, and there's nothing you can say to fix it.  Let's just go inside."

>You look at Dash, hope that's not a fine mist starting to form along the bottom of her eyes, and push the door open.

>She hangs her head and slowly flaps away.

>Buttercup trots into your house and starts exploring.
>Being a goddamn horse and lacking the finesse of your fine self and/or the colorful little ponies that live around here, she knocks a bunch of shit over.
>She grins sheepishly and apologizes.

>"There's SOMETHING important I'm forgetting.  Dash is way too upset for it to be something stupid."

>"Jeez, you're still on that?  Let it go.  There's nothing you can do."

>"I dunno..."

>"You got any oats?"

>"What?"

>"Oats.  I'm starving."

>Something worrying is going off.  Some sort of internal alarm you have that's useful.  Can't place it, though.
>"Oh.  Uh, I don't think so."

>"Eh... I guess I'll just eat whatever."
>She kicks at your fridge a few times, trying and failing to open it, before she instead noses open a few cupboards.
>There are now the Equestrian equivalent of Lucky Charms ALL over your kitchen floor.
>Buttercup smiles and munches away.  You turn on the TV and eye your liquor cabinet.

>The next morning, you roll off of your couch and groggily stumble toward the bathroom.
>You spot Buttercup sleeping in your bed through the open door before you slip into the shower.
>As you try to scrub away the vaguely unpleasant feelings you can't identify, something clicks.
>You know EXACTLY what's wrong with Buttercup.
>She's an ASSHOLE.  Dismissing your concerns, running straight for whatever it is she wants, and just having a general attitude of "disregard others, acquire benefits."
>You begin thinking of ways to get her to leave without directly throwing her out.
>She IS in a pretty shitty situation, and you're the only support she's got.
>With the primary cobwebs removed, the rest of the pieces start falling into place as you remember most or all of what you'd forgotten.
>You probably just hit your head a lot harder than you thought when you fell.

>There's some shouting, then the sound of glass shattering.
>You leap out of the shower and down the hall.
>"What the hell is going on in here?"

>Buttercup is bucking and kicking all around the room while Dash hovers and dodges.  Your shouting startles them.
>They both stop and turn to look at you.

>Dash blushes.

>Buttercup whinnies.

>"Both of you need to calm down and stop destroying my room."

>"Anon!  You can talk again!"

>"Dash?"

>Buttercup kicks her in the face.

>"That's it.  You're done here."

>"Whoa, wait a minute.  No need to-"

>She goes out the already shattered window, but still takes quite a few cuts from the remaining shards.
>She panics, flails, and runs away.

>Dash dusts herself off.
>"Okay, Anon.  I know you had a head injury or some junk and the language processamawhatever in your brain was all screwy, but what the HAY were you doing?"

>"What are you talking about?"

>"That... that thing!" She says, pointing a hoof out the window.

>"Buttercup?  What about her?"

>"BUTTERCUP?  You NAMED it?"

>"What?  Look, she woke up lost and confused, same as me, so I helped her out.  That's all."

>"Anon, you aren't making any sense."

>"Maybe my head is still fuzzier than I think it is.  I woke up, I couldn't remember anything, and I couldn't understand any of you.  Then we went to Twilight's and she had Buttercup strapped to the table."

>"Well what else was she supposed to do with a wild animal?  All she did was run around, get confused, and kick things looking for food.  We had to keep her from causing any damage."

I really am not feeling this one. I painted myself into some weird, awkwardly shaped corner. I'm going to paste the last bit I have here and drop this. Applelologies.

I might consider starting to do that thing others do where they plan and write first and THEN post once it's workable. I just kinda liked the "post as you go" structure. It's got some inherent fun I can't nail down, and ALSO it's a nice little point of pride. Look what I can do without any rehearsal or editing or planning or help! Of course it leaves the chance for failure like here... whatever. Okay, pasting remaining scraps, then done with this thing.

And then something about clearing up a misunderstanding where Dash thinks you slept with Buttercup because she was in your bed.

Barf.