Awake

Solid was lying wide awake at around four in the morning, staring up at the roof of her bed and letting her mind wander. This just happened sometimes. She used to be afraid of every little sound outside of her tent when she still lived in the camps. She tried to force herself to stop being afraid of things when she was a teenager, when she had begun to work within the city but then the sounds of drinking, fighting and shouting in the tavern they housed her in kept her awake all night. The ever changing working hours didn't help. Even after leaving and dealing with her issues and sorting herself out as best as a person can, erratic sleeping patterns were almost like an old habit at this point, as well as the result of her self inflicted trauma. Trauma was there, trauma doesn't just get pushed aside, but she tried not to burden people with it.

Admittedly she had been getting better since she left her old life. Those days she'd wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to get back to sleep. She'd try to balance it out by taking power-naps every now and again, or sometimes after a week or so of not sleeping enough, she'd pass out before the sun was down and have big, long hibernation slumbers until late the next day. It hadn't been the best system but it worked for her. Nowadays her sleeping pattern had more or less anchored itself to the Miqo'te lying besides her. But the past few weeks had left her mind weary. Weary and awake.

Usually, at this point she would get up and start reading, exercising or doing something else to occupy her mind while she waited for morning to officially start. Sometimes she'd simply coil herself around Ouleh, letting her eyes rest as she listened to him breathe. This time though, she got out of bed and went to wash the sleep from her face. After rinsing and examining her facial features in the mirror she took a minute to look at her body. Solid fucking loved her body.

She was thick. Her race's physique and her chosen lifestyle had done wonders together, leaving her with a defined athletic shape. The most outstandingly muscular looking parts of her body were her arms, shoulders, abdomen and most of her legs. What pleased her more than anything was that other parts of her had remained full and soft. She let a hand run idly along the curvature of her hip, tilting her head as she watched the motion in the reflective glass. After a smile she allowed herself another moment of self-indulgence to flex her arms and do a few poses in the mirror. Still looking good. The Forest hadn't made her nearly as soft as she had feared.

She left the basin and placed another log onto the dying fire on her way back towards the bed to retrieve her clothes, intending see if anybody else was awake in the company halls. The light coming from the renewed flame made it so she didn't have to clumsily touch her way through the darkness. She had slipped into her trousers and was binding the cloth serving as her belt when she stopped to look at Ouleh, who was sleeping soundly in the nest he had made underneath covers. It's funny, she thought, how Ouleh and her both had so much healing to do and both had so many fragile places in their minds. Yet when they slept it was him who slept easily, every single time-and there she was, the strong and intimidating Sequoia, unable to get a full night's rest, other than when she had him to cling onto or when her body forced her to sleep for fourteen hours straight. She decided to crawl back under the covers just to look at Ouleh for a little longer.

Ouleh's hair was all over his face. Ugh, how could he sleep with hair in his face? Hair in her face drove Solid up the wall, it was the reason she had resorted to controlling hers in dreads.

How did Ouleh sleep so soundly? So peacefully? Sometimes it would take him a long time to get to sleep, but once he did that was usually it until morning. He was cute when he slept, too. More messy than when he was awake but, other than the occasional whimper from a bad dream, most of the fear he had stubbornly kept to himself was gone from his face. Mouth open, sometimes even smiling in his sleep with her hands either curled under his chin or holding onto Solid.
He was better now, she saw it clearly as she lay there watching him. Lately she had awoken on several occasions to him in the fetal position, muttering in his sleep, sometimes pleading to voices unheard. Ever since the incident that had unlocked something terrifying inside him. Now though, Solid once again recognised the soft Miqo'te she had pulled into a warm embrace in a cold tent.

"Did they finally do it?" she whispered to the sleeping Ouleh, "Y'said they did." Gods, she hoped they did.

"Did I help?", she asked his quietly sleeping form, softly and guiltily, "Do I make y'feel safe?"

Solid wanted Ouleh to be able to do things on his own, and knew full well that he could, but was it so bad to feel good about being leaned on? Is it wrong to feel strong when somebody you care for finds safety in your arms? She had felt nothing but useless when it came to his efforts to control his wild aether. All she could do was step aside.

"Y'so soft." she tutted, pushing some of his hair aside to better see his face. He crinkled his nose and made a little squeaky sound. Solid bit her lip and tried to stop from giggling. She should let Ouleh sleep and not bother him, he had earned his rest.
She glanced across the room towards the door and changed her mind on venturing out into the hallway. Instead she closed her arms around Ouleh, careful not to stir him as she nestled against his side. She'd stay there, waiting for the sunrise with him.