“Mmm seven more minutes…” Nagi complained in a sleepy voice. The air was warmer than usual and the warmth felt good on his cold, half-naked body. Naked? Nagi shot up in a daze and glanced around him. Trees. Waves. People.
“Fuck,” he muttered as he began to recall the situation he was in.
“Oh, finally awake,” the person beside him said.
Nagi stood up and turned to recognize the young man carrying a few tree branches, presumably for firewood. It was Kaze, the shortest person Nagi had ever known. Nagi looked over Kaze as he slowly grew accustomed to the brightness of the sun and nodded in approval as he thought how much taller he really was. Yes, Kaze was even shorter than those cute, short Japanese schoolgirls he saw when he visited Japan. They were so adorable with their gi, he thought. Gi. “Nagi. Nagiiiiii” Kaze mundanely called. “Let’s go, there’s something everyone needs to discuss.” Nagi came back to his senses.
“Oh sorry about that. Is everyone else awake?”
“Everyone except Panda.”
“That’s a given.”
Nagi followed Kaze toward the group of people he had seen when he first woke up. He surveyed the area more closely. There was a dense forest beside the beach which he walked along. The day before, Sent bravely climbed the highest nearby tree and reported that they were in fact stranded on an island. The forest extended the entirety of the island with the exception of this beach perimeter. The island was surrounded by beautiful, clear ocean waters. The view here was truly great; he could see clearly above Kaze’s head. Nevertheless, Nagi sighed. How had this happened? As the two midgets approached their fellow tladt friends, he remembered the words of Uta.
“There’ll be Hanakana.”
That’s right.
Uta had promised him Hanakana.
And Uta had given him hanakana.
Kana cards with pictures of flowers. It was moekana but with flowers. Fucking Uta. Hanakana had lured him to the outside world, to the tladt yacht which Panda had bought with an hour’s worth of wages, and to that stormy sea where a giant fucking Zerg Umilisk happened to be. Where they were now, only heaven knows. Nagi chuckled at his own thoughts.
“I so punny,” he murmured low enough such that Kaze wouldn’t be able to hear.
“Oh hi you, Nemuisama,” a voice called out to him. Only one person here would make such a horrible pun.
“Morning Utaaaaa - fucking what?” Nagi stumbled over his words as he spotted what everyone was gathered around. There, before his very eyes, lay the unmoving body of ZNF. A knife was plunged deep into his stomach; his shirt dyed in a deep red. His body was sprawled in an awkward position but his face remained as adorable as ever.
“ZNF died,” Sent said calmly as if the situation was of no concern to him. Nagi did not want to talk back to the two meter giant who could easily crush Nagi under his foot.
“ZNF died,” someone echoed. Nagi didn’t recognize who but he naturally assumed it was Echo, given his odd habit of echoing others.
“More importantly, someone murdered ZNF,” Ghrur hesitantly brought up. Ghrur originally was not supposed to come to the tladt yacht cruise with everyone else; however, as Gao had midterms, Ghrur was the only other Zerg to invite.
Nagi stood in place with disbelief. No one else said anything or revealed any facial expressions that might give insight to their thoughts. Eight people were stranded on an island with nothing but a forest reeking of nature. One person was murdered, meaning the killer must be one of the remaining seven. If ZNF had been killed by a wild animal, that would leave no mystery; the use of a knife could only mean a premeditated attack by a human. Could there be another person on this island? It was impossible. No, it was possible; they had not explored the darkness of the forest. At the same time, there was one person here missing. Or rather, one panda. Nagi’s brain ran countless simulations in a few seconds.
“Then there must be…” he started
“You know,” Kaze interrupted. “ZNF probably tripped and killed himself. Look at that moe face. So cute.” Immediately everyone broke out in laughter, not because of the joke but because of the truth.
“It’s something ZNF would do,” Ghrur agreed. No one seemed to have any complaints.
“Wait,” Echo said. Nagi’s attention was drawn immediately, partly because he too had his doubts but also because Echo wasn’t echoing for once. “ZNF is lying face up. If he tripped, he should be face down. Granted, I can see ZNF killing himself like this, but we found him face up.” Echo, the voice of reason, was not the leader of Courage for nothing. Nagi knew something had been bothering him, yet Echo managed to point out the one issue here about ZNF’s accident.
“But does it matter?” Sent countered. “ZNF is dead. So what? We’re still stuck on this island. We should do something more important than worry about who killed him. If we find out who did it, I’ll personally kill him, but until then, I think it’s more likely ZNF is moe enough to kill himself and still manage to fall face up.” Sent’s argument made sense. ZNF’s moe was not to be underestimated and the way he looked right now…well, it could be said ZNF had reached the nirvana of moe, Nagi thought.
“I think I agree with Sent,” Ghrur spoke up. “We don’t even have any food. Chances are ZNF’s death was just an accident, so it’d be better to spend our time – ”
“Fuck you boring people and your boring monologues. Where is my Kasugai?” Uta interjected, ignored by all. Everyone knew he was still traumatized by Utsurigi.
“Like I was saying,” Ghrur continued, “it’d be better to spend our time searching for food and water than pointing fingers at each other.”
“I want food,” a voice from behind a rock said. Nagi did not notice but now that he looked, he could see some feet lying beside the rock. The only person who would lazily ask for food in this situation had to be Panda.
“…Alright,” Echo sighed, partially disappointed that his friends cared so little about the death of ZNF and partially frustrated at the situation they were in. “Then, let’s do this,” Echo began to divide tasks between each person. Nagi was only half listening as he stared into the darkness of the forest. He did not get the chance to explain, but his constant habit of spoiling himself had already revealed they were not alone on this island. Without a doubt, there was someone, or something, in that forest.


It was late evening when everyone had collapsed from exhaustion. Together, they had made a small hut, gathered food and fresh water while simultaneously scouting out the forest, and brainstormed ways to potentially get off the island. It had been a long, hard working day for everyone; so naturally, they had all fallen asleep early. All but one. Panda awakened from his deep slumber. He had actually slept the entire day and through the night before, so he had been asleep for nearly thirty-six hours. His stomach growled.
“Food,” he said to no one in particular.
“Too lazy to move. Someone get me food,” he complained while turning onto his side. If Panda had not left his room, he could gnaw on the bamboo growing out of his floor. In fact, the yacht he had purchased also had bamboo plants layering the floors; so even there, he had no worries about starving to death. No one awakened or answered.
“I have to stand. Standing is so difficult.” Panda was not simply a person who hated the outside. Indeed, he hated the very action of movement but still wanted to live a well-endowed life. As a result, even though he was the epitome of laziness, he would still make the effort to eat, though cooking was an entirely different story.
“Ugh. Okay. Food. Where.” Panda finally stood up and slowly spoke his thoughts of hunger out loud. He probably would not be able to wake anyone up at this point in time and did not truly wish to bother anyone, as lazy as he was. Despite his drowsiness, Panda’s legs carried him forward into the forest where there was sure to be something resembling bamboo.

Panda continued walking through the darkness. Although the moonlight was incredibly bright on an island with no city lights, the thickness of the forest blocked out almost all of it. He walked on for what felt like an eternity. How far had he come? Ten, no, twenty meters? He felt he had never walked so much in his life. Suddenly he heard a growling. At first he looked down at his stomach, thinking it was his own noise. Then it came again, louder, and with a stranger sound that he could not exactly describe. If he were to give it a name, then Zerg would be the only word that came to mind. In addition to the growling, the rustling of leaves could now be heard. Panda looked around and then spotted several pairs of glowing eyes. The smell of a rotting corpse began to permeate the air as the forest creatures crept toward Panda. He recognized them but the smell began to make his already hungry body dizzy. As Panda collapsed to the ground, he thought he saw what resembled a human figure.


Nagi did not get the pleasure of sleeping in today. He was awoken with startled voices. Apparently Panda had disappeared overnight. For someone as lazy as him, he could not have gotten far. However, despite searching the surrounding area half-heartedly, the lazy panda could not be found.  Everyone had even searched in the trees, thinking maybe he had become a sloth instead. Suddenly Sent let out a shout, telling everyone to gather.
“There’s smoke coming from deeper in the island,” he explained. For there to be smoke would normally mean there are people.
“So either Panda made it deep into the forest or there’s someone else on this island,” Echo rationally thought out loud.
“But could Panda really make it that far?” Ghrur questioned. It was true that Panda could probably not make it farther than twenty meters, which is why their search range had been so small. Echo tried to do some fancy horizon math to determine the approximate distance of the smoke before giving up.
“It looks to be about half a day’s walk,” he finally said with certainty. “I don’t think Panda could have gotten that far which means this island isn’t deserted after all. I think we should try to find whoever is making that fire. As of now, we’re just surviving without any plans or even knowledge of where we are.”
“Wait, what about Panda?” Nagi asked in concern.
“He should just stop pandering around,” Uta quickly replied.
“I hate to say it,” Echo sighed, “but right now our priority is finding out who else is on the island. Panda may be lazy but he’s not dumb. I’m sure he’ll manage without us, and we can’t waste any more time on him now that we know someone else is here. We should get hiking toward that smoke as soon as possible.” Echo was the unspoken leader of the group. In a survival situation such as this, while not everyone may be in agreement, he had their respect, and they would follow his decision.

“Ha…ha…ha,” Nagi was breathing heavily just thirty minutes of walking through the forest. It was not that he was completely out of shape, but the jungle-like terrain did not allow for ease of movement and the humid air only grew worse in the forest of trees. Not too far ahead of him, Kaze was also struggling. Compared to the others, these two were by far in the worst shape. It had not been apparent when they did not have to do much manual labor besides gathering an assortment of berries for food; however, they were truly pathetic. While Echo felt sympathy for the physically inept duo, he would allow breaks that would hinder the entire point of their hike. In retrospect, perhaps it would have been wiser to leave them behind. He was not the type to regret his decisions, but he was willing to accept that he could make wrong decisions. Unfortunately, the situation did not allow him the time to even think about it.

 The forest erupted with resounding growls. Whether the sounds were coming from all directions or it was simply an illusion caused by the echoing of the forest, the stranded group did not have the time to tell. As if on instinct, everyone began running. They could hear the quickening footsteps behind them as the growling increased in both numbers and volume. As if directing their retreat, the creatures could now be heard on all sides expect straight ahead. Echo felt the direction could be nothing but a clever trap, but perhaps it was simply his imagination. However, the ones on the left and right began to back off, and he could not help but turn around to see where they headed.

Upon viewing the scene of carnage, he stopped in his tracks. As he was the lead runner of the groups, everyone else stopped in response. Surrounding by a horde of ferocious zerglings, Sentenal stood alone. It was already clear he had slain ten or twenty of them with his bare hands. The titan of the group showed off his fists, inviting the next victim to his powerful punches. The horde of creatures stirred quietly, hesitant to make any rash movements. Sentenal’s courageous stand had instilled fear into them despite their numeric advantage. Or so it appeared. Zerg creatures were violent beings that often attacked without hesitation or fear. They used their numbers to overpower any enemy without concern for their losses. For such things to hold back, especially against one man, was abnormal. And then, from the shadows of the trees and the horde of zerglings, a person appeared.

“A person?” Ghrur asked aloud. It was clearly a person walking toward Sentenal but who it was, nobody knew.
“What are you doing here,” the person asked, directing his question to Sentenal.
“Harem?” he responded.
“Harem?” “What?” “That’s Harem?” multiple voices said at once.
“Yeah, this guy is Harem,” Sentenal confirmed.
“Ohhhh, so many people are here. My secret is exposed,” Harem said calmly.
“What secret?”
“My secret island Yakushima where I’ve been raising a Zerg army to take over the world but the nydus canal to and from here only opens up once every 6 months.”
“Oh of course, that.”
“…”
“…”
“Is this why you disappear from the internet for months at a time?” Echo asked.
“It is,” was all Harem had to say.