Unforeseen Consequences - A royal pain

>Okay, don’t panic, because if you do, then everything will come crumbling like a house of cards. You’ve to keep calm and… OH NO! TWILIGHT IS ALREADY TALKING TO BLUEBLOOD! And… actually, so far so good.
>Twilight gave Blueblood a courteous bow and that jerk actually did the same. They already started a conversation and despite Twilight looking awkward as heck and clearly looking like she didn’t want to be there, Blueblood was talking nonstop.
>What was the topic of their conversation? Since the boutique was too crowded and you were a bit too far away, you couldn’t hear a dang thing. You could make an educated guess though… or you could get closer without anypony noticing you.
>”I must say, Princess Twilight. It is a rather pleasant surprise to see you here and not among the usual crowd of plebeians that less knowledgeable circles associate you with”
>”Heh, heh, heh… yeah… plebeians… right” Twilight had this incredibly forced smile but it was obvious for everyone that she was doing her best to not snap at him. “Do you…uh… like books?”
>You placed your hoof on your forehead, shook your head and muttered to yourself
“Everything is lost…”
>Or not! Blueblood actually shrugged it off and in his true arrogant and selfish nature, the guy derailed the question to talk about himself “Oh, why yes! I adore written works, especially the ones that talk about my breath taking lifestory… and ties catalogues. I simply love those. Say, have you been around the castle lately?”
>”Uhhh… What? Why? I-I mean!” Twilight looked around and gave Blueblood another awkward smile “Yeah… I’m actually staying there for the week”
>This actually caught up Blueblood’s attention. He leaned a bit closer to Twilight and asked with a more excited tone “Oh, that’s wonderful! Have you perhaps happened to hear any talks about me? Maybe something related to an invitation?”
>”I… uh… no?” Twilight raised an eyebrow and was looking at Blueblood with confusion “But… eh… I haven’t seen the Princesses that much, so… you know… maybe they talked about it while I was occupied with something else?”

>”Yeah… I’m sure about that” Blueblood looked a little saddened by that, but quickly regained his arrogant composure “But let’s forget about that for a minute and talk about the simply wonderful way in how your dress compliments my eyes”
>Despite Blueblood’s annoying personality, Twilight was taking everything like a champ. Yeah, maybe you overreacted everything. Maybe things ain’t that bad.
>Or you would say that Royal Blood clearly didn’t look pleased that Twilight was there, at all. Your worst fears came to reality when the white filly called for Blueblood’s attention and whispered something into his ear.
>NO! No, no, no, no! Blueblood was excusing himself and walking away from Twilight! And speaking of her! What was she doing?! She just looked at Eris and shrugged! DON’T GIVE UP LIKE THAT! AAAAAAGH!
>Okay! Eris was moving towards Blueblood to save the day! Woohoo! Equestria still has some… NO! Sassy Saddles, What are you doing?! Don’t take Eris away to do some modelling! You are blowing up everything!
>Dang it! You can’t let them go away! But… what can you do? Think Anon, for the love of science THINK!
>Y’know what? Screw it! It’s time for you to take the plan into your hooves! Maybe it’s not the most intelligent thing ever but man, what other frickin’ option did you have?
>As you galloped to intercept Blueblood and Royal Blueblood, you started to think how you were even going to approach them. Okay maybe you can ask Blueblood how he’s been doing after getting kicked out of the castle as an opening topic?
>Okay, that would just ruin everything so you had to think on another topic, evade the punching thing and… DANG! You were already too close to them! Okay! You needed more time, best way to get it is to camouflage yourself among the crowd so those two don’t take notice of your stalker-like presence.
>Hnng! Royal Blood already saw you and said hi. Dang! Maybe Blueblood will ignore you and… NO! They were walking at you already!
>The first one to speak was Royal Blood who was acting anything but like the shy filly who you met just today. From the way she walked, to the smile she held, to even the calmer but enticing way she spoke, Royal Blood was oozing with self-confidence and style.
>”Considering the mess you were earlier, I had my doubts about you, but looking at you know… well, let’s just say that I’m now talking with somepony who’s supposed to be on my level.” Royal Blood looked up to Blueblood with a big smirk on her face “Isn’t that right, daddy?”

>Your eyes became wide open and your head started to ache. DID SHE JUST CALL BLUEBLOOD… DADDY?!
>This had to be a joke, you knew that considering they arrived together, Royal Blood had to be related to Blueblood in some sort of fashion, but THIS?! HOW?! Who would be so desperate as to have a kid with somepony like Blueblood?!
>More importantly, how comes that you mom never mentioned this in her letter?!
>Blueblood let out a small and arrogant chuckle “Remember, darling. Looks are almost everything but the way a pony acts is the key point that separates true royalty from the common plebeian.” He then turned to you with a cold glare “Wouldn’t you agree, Anon?”
>You didn’t answer the question or refuted his stupid snobbish philosophy since your brain was still trying to process the whole “Blueblood has a daughter” thing
>Royal Blood giggled “Daddy, I think that Anon here is expecting a proper introduction” and then looked at you with a playful expression “Or are you surprised to found out about who my daddy is?”
>You could see Eris, RD and Twilight discussing something and getting ready to intervene. Luckily, they turned in your direction so you motioned them to stay put and not do anything.
>You looked at Royal Blood with the same shocked expression and shrugged
>”Oh, Anon, I thought that you were supposed to be a prodigy!” Royal Blood giggled and waved her hoof dismissively “I mean, I even gave you a hint, remember?” She shrugged and shook her head “But alas, my little game turned out to be a bit too subtle for your simple mind. What a disappointment”
>”Oh my little sweetie pie!” Blueblood chuckled “Don’t blame Anon here for his poor performance! He simply doesn’t interact with ponies of high category like us as often as he should. It’s no wonder that he could not decipher your riddle, his mind has been contaminated by the common peasantry”

>Okay, your shock was over. This gal had too much of Blueblood in her to not be his daughter.
“I’m not going to lie. I should’ve made the connection sooner, dunno why I didn’t. You really got me there and got me good. With that said. Hello again, Royal Blood and…”
>You turned to her father… geez, you still can’t believe it!
“Hello to you too, Blueblood. Didn’t expect to see you here.”
>”Now this is curious” Blueblood raised an eyebrow at you
“Really? I’m a curious fellow, but I don’t see what you find, well… curious about what I just said”
>Blueblood rolled his eyes and pocked your chest with his hoof “Don’t you play dumb with me, we both know what I’m talking about! Hello? Is that it? No snarky remarks, no bad taste jokes, just a simple greeting?”
“I’m afraid that I left my jokes book in home. Y’know, the huge castle that towers above Canterlot City? The same one where me and my moms live in?”
> That caught Royal Blood’s attention ”Hmmm? We all know where you live and we all know that’s the home of the Princesses too. Why are you being so… redundant about it? ” She then turned to her father “Daddy? Is this some royal secret language that I’ve yet to learn?”
>You could see a couple of sweat running down Blueblood’s face as he frantically nodded ”Yes! That’s exactly right, my sweet cake! Anon here is just using a very secret and very confidential code that only royalty knows about, in fact” He then got in between you and his daughter… “Let me talk in private with Anon. It will be just a second, I promise”
>Royal Blood tilted her head and asked “Why? Can’t you tell him right her, right now…” Her eyes then became wide opened as she said “Ooooh! I get it! You’re going to tell Anon why any self-respecting prince should know better to not bring royalty secrets in public!”
>”Oh, my dear Royal Blood! Your mind is always so sharp!” Blueblood gently patter her mane “That’s exactly what I’m about to do!” He then turned to you and motioned you to follow him “Now, Anon. Please, follow me”

>Usually, you’d tell Blueblood to go and hug a cactus but his face… it was clear that he was desperate… dang, you have to hold the urge to tell him no!
>You looked at Royal Blood then at Blueblood, and then nodded
“Alright, let’s talk outside”
>”Perfect!” Blueblood sighed in relief “Absolutely perfect! Let’s go outside so Uncle Blueblood can tell you how to be a proper member of royalty”
>You rolled your eyes and let out a groan but complied nonetheless.
>As you exited the boutique with Blueblood, you motioned Twilight, Eris and RD that everything was okay and to keep an eye on Royal Blood.
>The snowy streets of Canterlot were now illuminated by the beautiful full moon and the street lamps, creating this magical atmosphere. Your mom Luna really outdid herself with this starry night.
>Man, even with the comfy suit you could feel the almost glacial cold of winter!
 “Alright first of all, if you say that Uncle Blueblood thing again, I swear that I’ll shoot a laser at your face. Seriously, you ain’t my uncle, Discord is and… Hey! I can see my own breath!”
>You always loved that! But… uh… Blueblood was looking impatient, so it probably was for the best if you went straight to the point.
“Whatever, based on that little performance back there am I right in thinking that you haven’t told Royal Blood that your ugly flank ain’t allowed in the castle?”
>”No and neither will you!” Blueblood shook his head as he made the same mute talking.
“What?! So you’re lying to your own daughter?! That’s low, even for you”
>Bueblood was clearly offended by that remark ”I’m not lying to Royal Blood! I’d never do such thing to my precious pumpkin pie. I just… haven’t told her, which by definition is not lying.”

“Those are some seriously lame mental gymnastics, y’know that? And guess what? IT’S STILL LYING! AND GUESS WHAT ELSE?! I don’t like lying and I don’t owe anything to you! Heck I don’t even like you! Give me a reason why I shouldn’t tell Royal Blood that her dad got fired from the whole “Royalty” business”
>”Because!” Blueblood stomped his hoof on the ground “If you tell my sweetie pie the truth, then I’ll have this place shut down by tomorrow’s morning! And don’t you tell me that you don’t care, oooooh! You better not! I know very well who the owner of this petty boutique is and I KNOW she is a close friend of yours!”
“Oh c’mon! You’re bluffing!”
>”HAH! You wish I was!” My title may have been officially revoked but I still have several connections with THE most elite ponies in Equestria! I just need to tell them that your friend’s boutique is nothing but peasant’s garbage and your friend won’t have any other option but to do her living from making clothes for garbage cans!”
“Garbage cans don’t wear clothing, you big knucklehead! Besides, if you even dare to do that, then I’ll-“
>”You’ll do what, exactly?” Blueblood quickly interrupted you with a sarcastic tone “Oh, let me guess! You were about to threaten to use the spirits of chaos and their disgusting magic on me! We both know that will never happen!”
“Oh, yeah?! What makes you think that Discord and Eris won’t use your ugly mane as a mop cleaner the moment I tell them what happened?!”
>”Oh! I’m not talking about those horrible creatures, I’m talking about you! You’ll never let those beasts to do me any harm!”
“But that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said! I totally would do that because I totally hate you!”
>” Oh, spare me the laugh, because I’m not in the mood! I hate you too but believe it or not, I KNOW how you think!”
“What?! No, you don’t!”

>”I absolutely do! You would never let any harm to fall on anypony because…” Blueblood flapped his hooves and imitated your voice a very mocking way “You’re the little Prince of harmony and flowers and plebian stuff who can’t harm a fly!” He then regained his composure and narrowed his eyes at you “Go on. Tell me, I’m lying. I DARE YOU!”
“I…”
>You shook your head and kicked some snow in frustration
“Dang it! Alright! I wouldn’t let Discord and Eris to kick your flank! Geez!”
>You took a deep breath and glared at Blueblood
“Why do you care so much about Royal Blood anyway? You’ve never mentioned her before not even when you wanted to “connect” with me.”
>Blueblood rolled his eyes “That is because my personal life is of no concern to the likes of you! The only thing you need to know is that my biggest priority is to make my sweetie pie the happiest filly in Equestria”
“Ain’t that the funniest joke I’ve ever head! You don’t care about anypony except for yourself! Oh… and getting a date with Cadence, can’t forget about that”
>”That is in the past. Ever since I met Royal Blood for the first time I swore that…” Blueblood stopped midsentence and shook his head “STOP IT!”
“Stop what? I just pointed out that it’s almost unbelievable that you of all ponies are actually concerned about somepony else”
>”Well, yeah. I’m pretty important, but my sweetie pie and the promise I made to… I SAID STOP IT!” Blueblood yelled as he angrily poked your chest with his hoof “I won’t tolerate that you use your mind tricks on me!”
“But I wasn’t gonna… know what? Forget it! I’ll just go inside tell Royal Blood that we had a nice chat and then I’ll be on my way”
>”No! You can’t do that either”
“What, why not?!”
>”Because I promised my pumpkin that she would get to hang around with the other royals!”
“Then go and pester Twilight again! She actually wanted to talk with you!”
>”I would if my sweet pumpkin hadn’t told me that she found Twilight Sparkle to be utterly boring!”

“And she somehow found me interesting? Give me a break!”
>”That’s exactly the truth. As much as it disgust and terrifies me, the moment I mentioned to her that you were going to disgrace us with your presence, my sweetie pie got excited… more than what I’ve ever seen her before. You HAVE to stay with us, at least until my darling can see that you’re not worth her time.”
“Sucks to be you then. I don’t want anything to do with you or your kid and you can’t make me do anything either. ‘Cause if you hurt Rarity’s dream then I swear that I’ll tell Royal Blood everything about you. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! That includes all those times when you tried to get a date with Cadence, and tried to punch me twice, and that time when you were all smooch with Moon Dancer, and the fact that there’s a royal guard squad ready to kick your flank the moment you step into the castle.”
>Blueblood took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a couple seconds before looking down at you with a cold stare “Fine. You want to play like that? Then let’s do a deal, one that will take us out of this stalemate.”
“I was going to say that the cold has frozen your brain, but… yeah, we’re pretty much stuck in a hole and in order to get us out, I guess that you’re thinking on striking a deal, right?”
>Blueblood nodded “Seems like we’re finally coming to an understanding. That’s simply superb. Maybe this can be the beginning of a…”
“To the point, Blueblood”
>He sighed in frustration and then shrugged “Very well, Anon. We shall go straight into business then. My part of the deal must be clear by this point. Stay with me and my sweet pumpkin and ensure she has the night of her life”
“Alright, I can do that… but what do I get in return? You better make it good. Having to tolerate your cheap perform ain’t as easy as you think it is”
>Blueblood was offended by your words, but he quickly regained his composure “In return, not only will I give your friend’s little store a glowing recommendation among all of my social circle, but in order to make sure that you’re in your best behavior, I’ll also sweeten the deal by giving you the very thing that made you and Twilight to speak to me in the first place”
“I dunno what you’re talking about mate, as far as I concerned, Twilight approached you because she wanted to talk with you for some reason beyond my comprehension and the only reason we’re standing here is because Royal Blood spoke to me first”
>Blueblood rolled his eyes ”Don’t play dumb with me, please. Despite your assumptions, I’m not stupid. Princess Celestia, your mother, requested specific information about one of my cargo airboats this morning, and now you, Anon, a pony who clearly hates me suddenly wants to talk with me? It’s too big of a coincidence, but worry not, because if you actually do your job in a satisfactory way, then I’ll happily handle that information to you. Deal?”
“Blueblood… you’ve got yourself a deal”