Project E Omake: Party Rock

 Party Rock

    Ryan Settle emptied the third champagne glass of the night. So far he hadn't turned one down, and he didn't plan on doing so tonight. He slowly scanned the room as he nursed a fourth glass. Politicians, ambassadors, businessmen, and people with more brass than him. He could have sworn he saw the President, but then again there were tons of people in suits here. He could see Hate loading up his plate at the buffet table, the chef had prepared a large portion of shrimp gumbo and Hate was doing his best to annihilate it. Settle took another sip as he continued his people watching. Admiral Thomas had dragged him and Hate to what was essentially a PR meeting to drum up support for the military before he was flown off to Yokosuka in a month or so. He was glad that his three shipgirls hadn't been dragged to his horrible event. He chuckled into his glass as he visualized Willie, Sammy, and Hornet under the spotlight of the reporters. Willie breaking down, Hornet freezing, and Sammy breaking the nose of a reporter who dared to ask her a loaded question.

    "What's got you giggling skip?" Hate sat down in the seat next to Settle with his bowl filled with gumbo, and his plate with cornbread.

    "Just picturing Sammy breaking the nose of that hipster looking reporter. The one standing over there." Settle motioned with his glass. Hate followed Settle's gaze to the reporter in a tweet jacket and horn-rimmed jacket. He immediately clapped a hand over his mouth to not send a bit of shrimp flying across the table.

    "Enjoying yourself you two?." Hate leaned his head back, almost resting it against Admiral Thomas' stomach."

    "Yes sir, Admiral."

    "That's good, you can go back to your meal Lieutenant." Thomas waved Hate back to his food.

    "Aye."

    Thomas turned toward Settle. "Enjoying the party Ryan?"

    Settle nodded. "Only half a dozen loaded questions tonight."

    Thomas chuckled "Yeah I wanted to punch that reporter too."

    "May his stupid tweed jacket burst into flames." Settle raised his champagne glass to toast.

    "Hear hear." Hate said as he raised his fork.

    The event began to wind down after another hour. More reporters, more business men, and more well-wishers all coming up to meet and greet the hero of L.A. The running count in his head said that he had shaken hands with about 60 different people tonight. After the first ten all of the faces just blurred together in a sea of don't give a shit. He collapsed back in his chair, turning over to hate.

    "Have you even moved since I left?" he said.

    "Only for thirds." Hate replied around a spoonful of food.

    "Excuse me. Admiral?" The two turned towards the sound of the unfamiliar voice. Approaching them was a pair of men in suits. One was an immaculately clean suit. Not a wrinkle, crease, or errant spot could be seen on the man's black suit.

    "A pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm agent Campbell, and this is my colleague. Agent Foxx." The man motioned to his companion who was almost the complete opposite of him. His suit looked like he had lived in it for an extended period. The edges were worn, and rather than a simple mono-color tie like his companion Foxx wore a tie with an array of multicolored ascii characters forming shapes that Settle could swear looked familiar. Settle and Hate exchanged glances. Hate simply shrugged and went back to his meal.

    "Let me guess, FBI? Or is it CIA?" Settle asked. If these two were anything like the last four or five agencies which wanted his memoirs after L.A, then they were after something. "So what is it you want from me? Another interview?"

    Campbell laughed a little and adjusted his glasses, the man's angular face resembled a snake with spectacles. "Actually Admiral, we wanted to thank you."

    "Thank me? For what?"

    "For your help. After L.A we received quite the wealth of information from those ironclads. Despite the small pieces they had been reduced to. In fact we would like to present you with a gift of sorts. As a token of our gratitude." Campbell produced a briefcase, and removed a small wooden box from it about the size of a tablet computer. Settle gingerly accepted the item. It was quite heavy for its size. Slowly he opened it, the hinges gliding noiselessly. Inside, cradled by a plush cushion was a piece of metal, twisted and blackened. A small portion had been cleaned and polished, revealing the name etched into the brass. USCGC Sherman.

    "This was the largest piece we were able to find." Campbell said.

    Settle shut the box. "Who are you people?"

    "We rep-" Campbell began.

    "They're sPoOOoooOOooky." interrupted Hate, wiggling his fingers. Campbell paused for a moment with his his eyes wide, mouth open, staring at Hate as he jammed another spoonful into his own. A few seconds passed. Campbell cleared his throat and he began again.

    "We represent the Hull Surveillance, Study and Suppression Special Task Force-- a group with the same goal as you, Admiral." Campbell bowed slightly. "Well then Admiral, Lieutenant. Thank you for your time. I assure you we will be in touch in the future." And with that the two took their leave.

    "What the fuck was that about skip?" Hate had paused with a shrimp tail halfway in his mouth.

    "I think that was a blowhard's way of saying hello."

    "I know right?" came a small whisper, "Campbell is soooooo full of himself." Settle looked left and right for the source of the voice, before looking at the semi-transparent cloth draping over the table.

    "I bet all those clothes weigh him down so he doesnt float away on all that hot air." Giggled the voice.

    "What the hell are you doing under there?" growled Settle

    "ACK!" The person underneath scrambled on their hands and knees to try and escape, but Settle was faster. In one quick motion he had hooked the mysterious skulker by the shirt with his cane and stopped them dead in their tracks.

    Like a fisherman, Settle reeled in his struggling catch, "Hate give me a hand with this."

    "Aye, Skip."

    In one motion the two men pulled hard, dragging out the mysterious person, who was revealed to be a girl, standing at perfect attention, if not for the fact she as flat on her back.

    "Yo." She saluted. Settle clamped down on his arm to prevent him from returning the salute out of habit. The girl looked to be taller than Sammy by a head or so, but her figure was worlds more developed. Rather than looking like a child, she looked like a fully developed woman with a height problem. Her skirt hugged her generous hips, and her shirt was straining, and not just from the cane hooked into it.

    "Who the fuck are you?" Settle rumbled.

    "Ms. D. Ridge! I'm with the two from earlier," She said as she eyed his hat. "Admiral..."

    "Settle."

    "Kettle?"

    "Settle."

    "Pebble."

    "Settle."

    "Special?"

    "Se-ttle."

    "Spittle!"

    Hate pushed his food away in between giggling fits. To try and eat more at this point was to invite an accident.

    "Se-tt-le."

    "Brittle."

    "Se-tt-le!"

    "FELLATIO!"

    The man once known as corporal Hate was lost to the laughter and the floor.

    "For the last time! My name is Settle! Admiral Ryan SETTLE!" He almost yelled.

    "Ohhhhhh." Said the girl who was still on the floor. "Nice you meet you Dadmiral Settle." She offered her hand.

    A gasp of air erupted from the direction of the seat Hate once occupied. The creases in Settle's frown grew even deeper.

    "Look was there something you wanted from me, or did you just come to piss me off?"

    "Actually I came to hmpfpfhpfhfpm." A hand belonging to the scruffy agent from earlier clamped over Ms. Ridge's mouth.

    "Shut up. Shut up. I swear to god shut up!" Yelled the agent.

    "But Fooooooxx I was gonna say something important!"

    "Is this like the time you were going to tell CINCPAC something that was vitally important, and that his tie was crooked?!"

    "But appearance is a matter of life or death Foxx!"

    "You promised to behave if I let you come along. This isn't behaving! This isn't anything close to behaving!"

    Settle cleared his throat. The bickering pair turned to him. "Are you two married or something?"

    Ms. Ridge blushed, cupping her face in her hands she giggled and rocked from side to side on the floor. "Not quite yet~"

    Foxx recoiled in horror. "No. No no no. Just...let's go." He said as dragged her across the floor by the arm.

    "I don't think I could handle someone like that." Settle muttered to himself.

    "Hehehehahahahahaha. Spittle." Hate giggled. "Hahahahaha. Dadmiral Fellati-OW!" Settle whacked Hate with his cane.

    "Shut up, corporal."