Sweaty Personhorses: Chapter IV (Intermission)

>Golden rays of light flood into your room
>One of the beams falls directly onto your eye
>Giving a minor grunt of annoyance, you leave your cozy bed
>Yesterday, you had helped Twilight in finding a foul smelling plant from deep in the Everfree Forest that Celestia wanted for who knows what
>On the way back home, you explained to Twi all the things about the plant Zecora had told you
>Twilight asked you to accompany her to Canterlot today as she personally delivered the plant to the princess
>Of course you accepted
>Who would pass up a free trip to Canterlot?
>But there was one other reason you accepted
>Those looks Rarity and Applejack were giving you last night weren't exactly comforting
>Hell, you could say they were downright rapey...
>A trip out of town might be just what you need
>But as fate would have it, it's Sunday, so both Applerape and Rapity have the day off
>So now you're going to be stuck on a train with two...
>Wait, why are you scared of them?
>You're a man, dammit!
>A man ain't scared a no woman!
>Besides, what could they do?
>Rarity never lifts a finger
>And you're pretty sure you could take AJ if you absolutely had to
>Feeling confident you could beat up a woman, you dress and slurp down some breakfast
>Twi has planned for all of you to meet at her housebrary to pick up your train tickets
>Grabbing your keys, you head out

...

>The brisk morning air was cool to the touch as Twilight's came into view
>From the distance you could see three figures standing outside
>On closer inspection, it was Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Twilight
>Pinkie sees you approach and calls out
>"NON~NY! WE GOT YOUR TIC~KET!"
>The outburst causes you to wince
>Flutters even moreso
>As you take the ticket from Pinkie, you look around
>No sign of Applejack, Rarity, or Dash
>Come to think of it, you hadn't seen Dash yesterday either
"So where is everybody?"
>"I don't know."
>Twilight
>Her arms are crossed and her foot is tapping
>"But they better be here in the next five minutes!"
>"Twilight, darling, outside doesn't necessarily mean outside voice."
>Turning, you see Rarity and Applejack approach from behind
>Twi lets out a huff
>"Finally! What took you?!"
>Rarity 'hmphs'
>"Real beauty takes time to perfect. Also, we're going to Canterlot! I have to look my absolute best."
>She emphasizes by giving her hair a flip
>Twilight growls and goes inside to fetch Rarity and AJ's tickets
>Rarity was right about taking her time, she looked extra prettied up today
>Her pristine white blouse and matching purple skirt looked brand new
>And her usual purple heels were replaced with elegant purple sandals that showed off her pedicure
>Not wanting to be caught staring, you look up
"Morning Rarity."
>Any huffiness she had dissipates as she turns to you
>"Anonymous! Such a pleasure to see someone not being a pill this morning."
>Pinkie perks up at this
>"Hey! I'm not a pill! ...Whatever that means!"
>"Oh, yes, haha..."
>You then turn to address Applejack
>She was looking rather fetching herself this morning, too
>Her button shirt was tucked neatly into her pants, without the usual dirt
>Even her old boots seemed cleaner
>And her hair actually looks taken care of
>Did Rarity convince AJ to go with her to the spa?
>Her cheeks are a little rosy, too
"And morning to you too, AJ."
>"Mornin' yerself, hun."
>Suddenly, two tickets float over to the girls
>"There's your tickets. Now let's move!"
>"Oh... but what about, um... Rainbow?"
>Flutters must have found her voice
>"She's late! And the train leaves in 2 minutes!"
>And with that, the six of you run down to the station
>On the way, you pass by Dash's tower mansion house thing
>As if on cue, Dash steps out
>She winces from the morning light and pops her back
>Her eyes widen as she sees you run by
>"Hey! Where are you guys going?!"
>"Train station! Canterlot! TARDY!"
>"Wait up!"
>Somehow, Dash runs back into her room, changes, and still manages to get to the station before you do
>After the plant was placed in the cargo area, the seven of you board the train
>Being the gentleman you are, you allow the ladies to go first
>Once your ticket is punched, you open the door and step into the passenger car
>There are six booths, each with one of the girls sitting in them
>Twilight seems to be reciting what she'll say to Celestia
>Pinkie is bouncing in her seat waiting for the train to start
>Dash looks ready to fall asleep at any moment
>Rarity is examining her nails and checking her makeup with a mirror
>Applejack seems somewhat uncomfortable as she twiddles her thumbs
>And Fluttershy is being Fluttershy
>Now who to sit with?
>The last time you saw Dash, she had thrown you and Gilda out of her house
>You should probably apologize for what happened
>Making your way over to the booth, you plop down beside Dash
>The sudden impact snaps her out of her drowsiness
>"Wha?! Oh, hey Anon..."
>She yawns
"You seem so tired. You didn't have to come."
>"Nah, I'm good. Just spent all day yesterday, um, disinfecting my living room."
"Oh yeah..."
>You feel you cheeks heat up
"Sorry. If I knew it bothered you so much, I never would have... agreed with Gilda."
>Dash fidgets slightly
>"No problem. Wasn't your fault."
>Instant relief washes over you
>You had feared Dash would have blabbed to everyone
>"So, what, something going on between you and Gilda?"
"Wha? No!"
>She grins
>"You sure? 'Cause you both seemed to be getting into it."
"Dash! Shh!"
>First she seemed scared to death of feet, now she's almost... lusty?
"I told you; Gilda was curious and I obliged her. That's all."
>Dash chuckles and waves you off
>"All right, all right. Just be sure to invite me to the wedding!"
>She bursts out in sleepy laughter
>Sounds more like she's drunk
>You sigh and cover your face, out of embarrassment for Dash more than yourself
>After the laughter dies down, you immediately hear snoring
>Looking over your shoulder, you see Dash has fallen asleep
>Her giant gaping mouth is making noise similar to a horse
>The whole scene makes you chuckle
>Looking forward, you see a mound of cotton candy flailing around
>Giving the slumbering Dash a final look, you you stand up in the aisle
>Pinkie gives you a wide grin as you slip into her booth
>"Heya Nonny! Have a seat!"
>She stops bouncing so you can sit
>"Canterlot! Are you excited, Nonny?! I'm excited!"
"Haven't you been to Canterlot before?"
>"Well, duh. But usually it's for something super important, so I never get to go check out the shops! Ooh! Would you like to go shopping with me?"
>You shrug
"Sure."
>Maybe she'll let you rub her feet afterwards
>"Great! GASP! WecangotooneofthosehealthstoresI'veheardabout! Theneveneveryonecancometomypartieswithoutworryingaboutgettingfat! I'llbethebestpartthrowerever!"
>And of course Ponko has no idea that a health store doesn't sell healthy sugar
>"Psst!"
"Huh?"
>You glance around to see who made the sound
>"Psst!"
>This time you turn around
>Rarity is gesturing you to come over
>Somehow, this seem like a bad idea...
>Meh, what's the worst that could happen?
>You try to excuse yourself from Pinkie, but she won't stop talking about tofu cupcakes
>Rarity smiles as you slide in next to her
"Need something, Rarity?"
>"No, not at the moment. I just though you might want to get away from Pinkie before she talked your ear off."
"Nah, Pinkie's alright."
>She clears her throat before continuing
>"So..."
>Rarity crosses her right leg over her left knee, allowing it to dangle
>"Any plans once we reach Canterlot?"
>The light streaming from the window hits her painted toes, giving them a hypnotic purple shine
>That's when it hits you
>Rarity didn't dress up just for Canterlot
>No, she knew damn well you were going to be on the train with her
>And you walked right into the spider's web
>But can the fly escape?
>Looking up from her feet, you lock eyes with Rarity
>Her powerful gaze and devilish smile threaten to suck the life out of you
>Quick! Say something before your mouth completely dries up!
"Y-Yeah... with Pinkie."
>Rarity furrows her brow and pouts a little
>"Oh. Nothing set in stone, I hope?"
"No, not really. Why do you ask?"
>"I simply thought if you're going to be alone, you would join me for dinner?"
>A sudden blow to the back of the seat sends Rarity to the floor
>She quickly regains her composure and returns to her seat
>"Haha! Silly me! I meant to say 'join a FRIEND and I for dinner'!"
>You smile
>Pretty sure you know who that friend is
"What time?"
>"Does six work for you?"
"Sure does."
>"Wonderful! Then I- WE will see you tonight!"
>You get up to leave, but decide to give Rarity another look
>She places her hand to her mouth and titters
>"My, my. What did I tell you about subtlety, Anonymous~?"
>Her toes playfully curl, eager to capture you again
"Oh, sorry. But that spot is just so distracting."
>"Spot?!"
>Her sultry eyes shoot open as she stares down at her lap
>A giant brown smudge has appeared on her skirt after she took that fall
>She begins visibly shaking and tears start welling
>Giving a howl of anguish, Rarity pushes past you and runs to the little fashionista's room
>The commotion briefly wakes up Dash, who promptly falls back asleep
"Ah, that was fun."
>Glancing behind you, you spot the 'friend' Rarity had mentioned
>Yep
>But why didn't she just ask you herself?
>As you sit down, Applejack blushes and turns her head
>Fighting back a smile, you casually start a conversation
"So... Dinner with Rarity, huh?"
>"Yeah, Ah heard. Have fun."
>You shift your eyes to the right and see a boot print on the back of Rarity's seat
"She mentioned a friend. Any idea who that could be?"
>Applejack grimaces
>"Dang it, Anon. Ya know Ah ain't good at this... girly stuff. Ah needed Rarity t'help."
"Is that why you look so pretty today?"
>AJ grins
>"This ain't jus' fer you, sugarcube. Ah thought Ah might go clubbin' later."
>Applejack? Clubbing?
>You give her a deadpan stare before you both burst out laughing
"So what's with this 'friend' stuff?"
>Her smile fades
>"Ah thought that after how Ah treated ya yesterday, ya might not want anything to do with me..."
>So this is what was bothering her
>"So Ah asked Rarity t'ask you. Do ya... still wanna go?"
>You give her a reassuring smile
"Of course. I wasn't mad at you or anything. Just... please don't talk about my, uh, y'know."
>She nods
>"Promise. Ah was never gonna tell anyone, anyway."
"So I'll see you at six, then?"
>"Six sharp!"
>Turning to the voice, you notice Rarity has been standing behind you
>"Oh, drats. You found out our mutual 'friend.'"
>She says in a mock sad tone
>"No matter. We'll still have an excellent evening."
>You stand in the aisle to return to your seat, when Rarity softly whispers
>"And I never made such a promise."
"W-What?"
>Rarity doesn't answer but curtly takes her seat
>That comment didn't sit well with you...
>Better not dwell on it
>It IS Rarity, after all
>And Applejack raised another question
>Why WAS she acting like that yesterday?
>And why was she sorry now?
>Better not dwell on that either or you'll start getting paranoid
>You're going to have a lot to discuss with them at dinner
>But for now, there's still another hour until the train reaches Canterlot
>As you try to make yourself comfortable, your ears pick up on some mumbling
>"...'And so, I present you with'... no. 'It is with great honor'... ugh."
>Twilight, of course
>Time for more seat scootin'
"Twilight?"
>"Aah!"
>Her note cards fall from her hands
>"What, Anon?!"
"Are you... writing a speech?"
>She looks at her cards
>"Ugh, no. I just wanted to organize my notes on the plant for Celestia's records."
>Look at one of the cards
"'As your faithful student, I humbly bestow this plant unto Your royal records'?"
>Twi blushes but quickly snaps back
>"It's called being respectful, Anon!"
"C'mon, Twi. I know she's the princess and all, but you don't always have to kiss her feet."
>Heh, snuck a little foot reference in there
>"Well, what if I WANT to kiss her feet?!"
>What?
"What?"
>"I-I mean, be respectful?"
"You alright, Twi? You haven't been yourself these past couple of days."
>Twilight is silent before she sighs and runs her fingers through her purple strands
>"I haven't much sleep since I got that letter. Every night was a blur of print..."
>She does have some serious bags under her eyes
"We got the plant now, why not get some rest?"
>Judging by Twi's face, she's seriously considering it
>"But... my notes."
"You'll have plenty of time later. Just get some sleep, okay?"
>"...Alright."
>Twilight brings her knees up to her chest and removes her simple, brown loafers
>She's still wearing those dirty, argyle socks you saw her in
>And that smell suggests she hasn't washed her feet, either
>Twi's usually good at personal hygiene
>But once she's in study mode...
>Chuckling, you stand up, only to be kicked in the leg
>"Heard that."
>Twilight's eyes are closed, but she's smiling
>You have half a mind to tickle that foot, but you leave her to her rest and return to your seat
>Wait, you almost forgot Flutters
>She'd be crushed in you didn't say hi
>Fluttershy hears your footsteps and turns her head to face you
"Mind if I join you?"
>"Oh, not at all."
>She smiles and scoots over a little
>For a minute, you and Fluttershy sit in silence
>Looks like you'll have to make first move
"Everyone's making plans for when we reach Canterlot. Got any?"
>Fluttershy thinks a moment
>"Well, Rainbow had asked me to go swimming with her later. The gym in Canterlot has a pool that's great for doing laps."
"You mean like a workout?"
>"Uh huh. Rainbow's been trying to get me in shape lately."
"Really? You look fine to me."
>She covers her mouth and giggles shyly
>"Thank you, but if I ever want to start standing up for myself, I need to build up some muscle!"
>Raise an eyebrow
"Rainbow tell you that?"
>"Don't worry, she's not killing me. In fact, she's a great trainer. Look! I'm already making progress!"
>Fluttershy lifts that twig she calls an arm and flexes
>"See?"
"Uh, yeah..."
>"She's also really supportive. Whenever we go running and I get all sweaty, she never complains, even when I take off my shoes."
>Wait, back up
"Shoes?"
>"Yeah, I usually wear them with these cute pink ankle socks that go great with my sweater, but they get sooo smelly afterwards, so I have to-"
>Gah, quick, stop her before you boner!
"N-No, I meant, Dash hates feet I thought."
>"She does? She's never said anything..."
>This is getting weird
>And Dash never mentioned going to the gym when you talked with her
"Oh, uh, never mind then. When will you be at the gym?"
>"Rainbow said sometime after lunch, so about two o'clock. Why, did you want to come?"
"I might."
>"Then I'll look forward to seeing you!"
>She smiles
>You smile back and stand up
>A quick glance at your watch reads 10:16
>The train should reach Canterlot around 11
>Maybe you should follow your own advice and get some rest
>Finding an empty seat, you stretch out and make yourself comfortable
>The soft rocking of the train quickly puts you to sleep

...

>"EVERYONE WAKE UP! WE'RE HERE!"
>Pinkie's shrill voice drills into your ears
>With a groan, you open a groggy eye and take a look for yourself
>Tall white buildings start coming into view as the train reaches Canterlot station
>A quick stretch and you are ready
>Twilight, however, isn't as well rested
>"I never thought I'd hate the sun as much as I do right now..."
>She desperately tries to block out the sunbeam dancing on her face
"Now you know how I felt. C'mon, Twi! Celsetia, the SUN goddess, awaits!"
>Twilight cracks open a bloodshot eye and glares at you
>You grin and dangle her shoes in front of her
>She snatches them without a word
>You claim your pack from the cargo and step out into the late morning sun
>A clock tower reads 11:03
>Once out on the platform, Twilight addresses you
>"A guard should be on the way to escort us to the castle."
"Do we even need an escort?"
>She huffs
>"It's customary. Besides, do you want to haul that plant all the way to the castle?"
"Fine. I'll let some jarhead do it."
>"Ahem."
>A feminine voice behind you says
>Turning around, you see a woman clad in gold armor
>But what catches your eyes are those revealing leather sandals
>Unlike her sparkling armor, the sandals are scuffed and worn
>"Good morning. Twilight Sparkle?"
>"Yes?"
>"I have been assigned to escort you to Her highness."
>She then cuts her eyes at you
>"I'll be your 'jarhead' for the evening."
>Chuckle nervously
"I, of course, meant no disrespect, ma'am."
>"Mh-hmm..."
>She still gives you that stern look, but with an amused smile
"I just thought you were going to be a guy or something."
>Twilight decides to save you from the spaghetti seeping from your pockets
>"Sorry about Anon. And yes, an escort would be great."
>She shows the guard the plant and she loads it into a cart
>"I'm going on ahead to get things ready for the appointment with the princess. It's at four this evening, so don't forget."
>Hmm, that's cutting it close to your "not date"
"How long will it last you think?"
>"Thirty minutes, an hour tops. All we have to do is report our findings and answer any questions Celestia may have. Or Luna if she is present."
"Alright. Sounds good."
>Twilight joins the guard with the plant
>"Remember! Four o'clock!"
>You wave her off as she and the guard depart
>It then dawns on you that you are alone on the train platform
>The rest of the gang must have gone on to do whatever
>Your watch reads 11:17
>Now you just need to kill some time