warwerdeclared

See, I have a very good reason to be a 13 year old kid:

Feb. 2015 - Outgoing President Barack "Hussein" Obama declares himself openly to be a muslim, Congress is in an uproar, Birthers everywhere look smug as shit.

March 3, 2015 - Terrorists attack on the Supreme Court, with seven justices dead including Anthony Kennedy, Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas. President Obama declare a state of emergency and institutes Sharia law to "protect the Union". Conspiracy theorist claim an "inside job"

March 4, 2015 - Congress begins impeachment proceedings against the President. President Obama holds a prayer vigil at the White House to pray to Allah to protect him and the nation from the heresy occuring within the legislature. Conspicuously absent are Christian and Jewish religious leaders from the vigil.

July 7, 2015 - Just as the impeachment proceedings would have found Obama guilty, Obama declares Congress in violation of Sharia law. Mass arrests occur within the Capitol and Obama announces special elections to occur within two weeks. Obama also takes off all muslim groups from terrorism lists and releases all prisoners from Gitmo and places instead the Republican and Democratic party. Country is in an uproar!

July 9, 2015 - Malia is married to ISIS leader in show of good faith, all US Military activity ceases in the middle east.

July 21 2015 Obama announces new candidates, all muslims, for the senate and house of representatives. UN officials declare the special elections a sham with voter intimidation occuring across all polling places from groups like ISIS, AQIY, and Hezbollah

September 12 2015- Nearly all Justices replaced with Imams, only previous member to survive is Ruth Bader Ginsburg, strangely enough. Congress passes amendment cancelling out the bill of rights, and guns are taken away from American citizens by force

December 15, 2015 - War declared on Zionist Israel for encroachment upon Muslim land. Arabs in Middle East rejoice, Sultan Obama removes United Emirates of America from the UN and NATO. Malia's husband moves with Malia for fear of Zionist terrorists.

January 5, 2016 - Christian terrorists bomb White House, mass purgings begin the following Sunday in churches across UAE

January 6 - War declared on Vatican city. WWIII begins. Mass conversions by force begin in UAE.

April ?? 2016, Muhammad Obama, son of Malia is born New Arabia, formerly Oregon.

May 12 2016 - after months of conventional warfare, nuclear strikes occur throughout the world. Nearly half of the population is dead by initial attacks alone.

November 2016 - Remaining scientists declare a nuclear winter to officially have occured. Millions starve and no governments are functional

February 2018 - World is broken up into feudal kingdoms and roving gangs, mad max style. Malia Obama rules in Emirate of New Arabia.

Jun 11. 2020 - Scavengers find notes in a journalists home that find out that the attack on the Supreme Court [b]was[/b] an inside job. Conspiracy theorists would be smug as shit if they weren't already dead.

2035- [b]They arrive.[/b]

2037 - Malia is killed by an Angel. Details of her death are too gruesome to recount here

2039 - Muhammad Obama, son of Malia, has a child through a concubine.

2042 - Emirate of New Arabia falls - Muhammad's child flees with his father