StoryTime with That one guy: Drinking with Bro and Dad

Raritan 1:16 PM
I should get drunk tonight
rongnome 1:16 PM
the beast awakens...
Raodsideassistance 1:18 PM
If you plan on getting drunk
Turn off your phone

Or else you might drunk dial everyone
Togdor 1:19 PM
So i'm gonna try and tell yall a fairly enjoyable story about the time i went with my brother and father to get drunk for the irst time.  It'll take a while to get it all down, but bare with me if you please.
Raodsideassistance 1:19 PM
*Sits down

Yay, Mr. Lancelot is going to tell a story
rongnome 1:19 PM
Forward my fellow pancakes! We will smother our enemies in gravy, an feast on the brick wall of socialism with a plastic spork! Let us not forget those who fell under our mighty couches, but also remember those who got their nipple hair tangled in the belt on my mower...
Nay, I don't own a civic, but I hear Tony plays a mean tuna.
should they fins our sock, we will have to prepare to fly the ocean.
What can mushrooms do against these heinous acts of depreaved lovers?
Only when we seek the flask, will that bird shit on the air of utopia...
Lasagna 1:20 PM
you know im done with swag

i think its overrated
Raodsideassistance 1:20 PM
So much happening right now
Togdor 1:23 PM
So, as I've said before in this chat, I have been drinking for a while now, which is technically illegal, seeing as i'm only actually 19 years old.  My dad never really knew about this, mostly through my own doing.  I tended not to drink to excess, I always had an excuse for why i'd smell like alcahol, I always ate with my booze, etc, etc.  Well, two years back, my bro turned 21, and My dad, being  happy for once, decided he'd take him out for a celebration of getting closer to death

And seeing as he'd done a bit of drinking himself before hand, decided to bring me along.  It was unexpected, but not an unpleasant surprise, so the three of got all dolled up, put on our swag-ass matching leather jackets, and headed out.  The dark of evening fell pretty quickly, and by the time we were arriving at the nearest decent bar, it was a fairly lovely night in Los Angeles.  The city lights in such sharp contrast with the black emptiness of the city sky.  It was beautiful

Anyway, the night was going good, dad was laughing, smiling, being his old cheerful self.  It was easily the best part of the night.  And of course, after the peak comes the fall.  This particular fall however wasn't really severe or traumatizing or anything, it was just the typical winding down of a group of fairly sensible friends after an evening of comraderie.  I had been managing to sneak a few sips out of my brothers drinks every now and again, so when we left the bar, and headed out onto the calm well lit walks of midnight in Downtown LA, My dad was pretty Mellow, my brother was fairly unconcious, and i was pretty buzzed.  We weren't as stupid as some of our actions suggested however, so my dad wanted to just go for a walk around town before calling a taxi and heading home

As we were just chilling, looking [honestly] like a trio of either faggots or family, we stumbled past a pair of bros, and their girls.  And i describe them as such specifically, because they were they typical overly masculine muscle heads, and overly sexualized "magazine women." Which is not to say that they were unnatractive or anything, both the guys and the girls were pretty hot, in their stereotypical ways.  Anyways,  We stumbled past them, and I personally didn't hear it, but apparently my half conciouss brother heard one of them call us a bunch of faggots before laughing and high fiving [literally, i saw them high-five] at us.

And what happened next, came at such a surprise, because normally my brother is fairly timid, soft spoken, typical shy artist guy who is easy to get along with.  He woke up, in the snap of a finger, and turned around, slurring out, "Fuck you, you whores".
Ryan "Monk" 1:47 PM
There is a reason why alcohol is refered to as 'Liquid Courage'.
rongnome 1:47 PM
ssshh
Togdor 1:49 PM
Now i'm still not sure about whether or not he was speaking to the bros, or to the girls, or both, or even if what he says he heard was actually ever said, but next thing that's happening, is bro number one (white, short brown hair, green eyes, expensive looking shirt and long shorts, crocs, etc) has his arm in my dad's face, and my dad is going down.

My dad is a Military guy, and even though he's getting on in years, he's still pretty tough, so seeing him go down in one shot freaked me the fuck out.  So before I know what I'm doing, i've got my fist on the way to his throat.  But i see Bro number 2 coming in for me, faster than i can do anything about.

And the two girls are cheering on their guys, laughing at what's happening, mocking us and our jackets, leaving a generally foul taste in my mind at remembering them.  I clench my jaw, and shut my eyes, ready to get that fist to my face, and twisting my fist for hopefully a collapsed windpipe.  And then, the best thing happens.

My brother, Vomits.
rongnome 1:55 PM
ha!
Raodsideassistance 1:56 PM
*Still here, intently listening/watching
Togdor 1:56 PM
And not just regular blargh all over the floor, but the first and last time i've evr actually seen Projectile vomit.

directly into bro number 2's face

the punch never comes, but the guy screams, because this shit got in his mouth, in his eyes, all over his clothes, everywhere

and i just start rolling
rongnome 1:59 PM
just mentioning the generic deuchebag and whore girl, and their violent aggresssion that comes with being a meathead, filled me with an intense rage, and urge to kill
Togdor 1:59 PM
bro number one ignores that i basically just tried to kill him with my punch, and drags bro number 2 off, to the sounds of disgust and revulsion from 2's present state

i pick up my dad, and we bail out, because who knows, a trio of hispanic dudes "beat up" a pair of white guys and their dates, is the kind of story that gets you arrested

dad wakes up after a few minutes, we call up a taxi, and head home for the night

Brother is unconcious after his "episode"

Dad's got a bruise across his face
Raodsideassistance 2:01 PM
Mi compadre
Togdor 2:01 PM
and we all sorta stink

but when we get home, we're just laughing and we get yelled at for making so much noise coming in
rongnome 2:02 PM
one reason I prefer here, over commiefornia. if for whtever reason, my dad, me (and my one sister's boyfriend because he's the closest thing to a brother I have) were out on the town (not drinking of coarse) and someone hit one of us, they both Cc, and I will when I turn 21 later this year.
Togdor 2:03 PM
ah, memories
2:03 PM
Togdor is done now
Raodsideassistance 2:03 PM
...
That was one of the best stories I've ever heard/read
Togdor 2:03 PM
I'm glad to hear that
rongnome 2:03 PM
I laughed, I raged...I raged alot

but good story
Dat_Lumberjack 2:03 PM
That was legendary

But not as memorable as my good friends first time
Togdor 2:04 PM
I'm gonna add this to my pastebin as unlisted so i can look back on it again
Ryan "Monk" 2:04 PM
It's a pretty hilarious story.