A Violated Law (FR One-Shot)

>Day 34 in Equestria.
>Life here for you has been... fairly difficult.
>Not because you're a human among a population of technicolor p0nies...
>...More because of the repeated attempts of rape and sexual assault.
>Really... what is it about you that brings these mares upon you?
>You never had this problem back home...
>...If you'd even call it a problem in that context.
>But you gotta do what you gotta do, and you gotta pay those bills.
>So you've been working for Pinkie Pie, helping her do some baking.
>She's been hitting on you pretty blatantly since you've arrived, but you've been playing dumb, hoping she'd eventually just stop it all-together.
>Man, were you wrong...
>Now, you're in the kitchen, helping mix together some cake batter for a spectacular cake. Might be for royalty or something, you can't really remember.
>But it's important nonetheless, so you're trying to completely focus.
>...Though it's hard with Pinkie Pie around.
>She saunters up to you, giving ingredients, then saunters back, her hips swaying behind her swishing tail.
>She's really going for you.
>You whistle absentmindedly, pretending not to notice a thing.
>You've begun mixing together the most basic of the batter, now it's time to add some chocolate.
"Hey Pinkie, mind passing me that chocolate sauce over there?"
>"Sure thing, Anon..."
>You keep focused on your stirring, looking back at the cookbook a few times to ensure proper form.
>As you do this, you hear something squirt from not too far off.
>You stop stirring immediately and bite your tongue.
>"Oh Anon...~"
>You sigh.
"...Yes, Pinkie?"
>"Come and get it...~"
>You roll your eyes, then look to the pink mare. She's completely covered in chocolate sauce, from head to hoof.
>"Just lick it off me, stud..." she says with a few sensual eyelash flitters.
"Pinkie... it was for the recipe."
>You groan.
"And... and no! I wouldn't do that anyway!"
>She looks to you, her sensual expression leaving her face, and huffs.
>"Anon... I've been THROWING myself at you for the month you've been here! Why aren't you noticing me?!"
>You go right back to stirring and begin whistling.
>You do NOT need this confrontation right now.
>"I think you just need..."
>Hoofsteps approach you.
>"A little convincing..."
>Her breath is right on your ear.
>You leap back in surprise.
>Taking a look at the chocolate covered pink mare, she's got a look of sexual determination in her eye.
>Like a mixture of an ovulating woman after a candlelit dinner over Barry White and a ferocious tiger looking at its next meal.
>You put up your hands and back away.
"...Whoa, Pinkie... what are you doing?"
>She follows you like a predator.
>Oh God... you should've expected this. It's not like it hasn't happened with other p0nies.
>"Anon... you're going to be mine..."
>You laugh a little to yourself, glancing behind you to spot the door, then book it.
>You bolt out of the kitchen, but you hear lightning fast galloping behind you.
>Judging how close you are, you dive to the left, the pink mare barreling past you as if she tried a tackle.
>You roll back up to your feet and sprint up the stairs.
>She's right on your tail!
>As quickly as you can, you sprint into a room and shut the door closed.
>She slams into it, mere milliseconds after you close it.
>"Aaaaanon!~"
>You back into the room.
>By the looks of it, it's Mr and Mrs. Cake's.
>Pinkie slams into the door, lurching it into the room and almost flinging it from its hinges.
>"Aaaaanon!!~" she calls again, hitting it again.
>You grit your teeth.
>With one more bash, the door comes tumbling over, a lustful p0ny standing behind it.
>You back up as far as you can, but soon, you hit a wall.
>She grins, and starts sauntering over to you.
>"You're all mine now..."
>Shit! Shit!
>Think, Anon!
>You look around the room.
>There's all kind of items around the room.
>...Items!?
>...It just might be crazy enough to work!
>You look over to the side of the bed, where a table holds a candlestick.
>You sigh a little. Here goes nothing...
"Boy... I REALLY hope you don't take that candlestick... because, y'know... having it jammed up my ass DEFINITELY isn't my fetish..."
>She stops, then looks at you for a moment. A second later, a devilish grin appears on her face.
>"Oh... it's not, is it...?"
>She keeps her eyes on you, seductively walking over to the candlestick.
>"Shall we... test it out?" Her hoof reaches over and takes it.
>You wince.
>"Now that we have our toy... we can--"
>"STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!"
>A loud, rhythmic clanking radiates through the building as a large man in full steel armor comes running into the room.
>"NOBODY BREAKS THE LAW ON MY WATCH! I'M CONFISCATING YOUR STOLEN GOODS. NOW PAY YOUR FINE OR IT'S OFF TO JAIL!"
>Pinkie Pie is in complete shock. She looks over to you, then back to the man, who is staring daggers into her.
>"...Um... okay. Uh, let me just get my bits from my room, and--"
>"THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!"
>He draws his sword, and in one swift swing, decapitates Pinkie on the spot.
>You gape your mouth in surprise as the man sheathes his blade and begins nonchalantly walking about the room.
>It takes a little bit, but eventually, you're able to move again.
>You approach the guard.
"...Thanks for that, sir. You saved my p0ny virginity."
>"Good day, citizen."
>...Man of few words.
>But it worked. And now, at least you're not...
>Fucking Pinkie Pie.