So, How About It?

A young Dipper Pines anxiously sits behind a shelf inside of the Mystery Shack Gift Shop.

As his heart races and sweat begins to form on his scared forehead, he peaks over to the register. There she sits. A young woman, with a spirit as fiery as her hair. Wendy Corduroy. She quietly reads her magazine, Passing Time Monthly. This month’s issue was a good one. She looks up from the zine and spots Dipper. A smirk slowly forms and she waves. He hides behind the shelf.

The day was a simple one. No tourists came. No tours given. No poorly made schlock sold to rubes. No nothing.
Grunkle Stan thought it would be wise to head into town and restock on supplies. Food, materials, booze, other ill gotten gains. Stan decided to take Soos and Mabel with him. He would have preferred to go alone, but he didn’t trust Soos and Mabel as far as he could throw them.

But Stan also didn’t want to leave the Shack unattended. He decided to leave Dipper behind.
"Uh, Grunkle Stan? Wouldn’t it be illegal to leave a minor unattended?" Dipper asked.
Grunkle Stan groaned aloud. This kid was a pain in the tucchus.
"Oy, fine. I’ll call up Wendy to watch the baby."
"Hey!"

Even though it was her day off, Wendy happily agreed to come in. As Dipper waved off his family/co-workers, Wendy rode up to the door.
"So, Wendy, what do you wanna do? I think "The Man With No Taste Two: Those Socks Don’t Match!" is coming on soon!" Dipper said with excitement.
Wendy didn’t respond. She just stood in front of Dipper.
"W-Wendy?" Dipper asked in concern.
Wendy continued her silence. She just patted Dipper on the head and walked inside.


Wendy was like this all day. Dipper didn’t know what to do. Every time he looked at Wendy, she gave THAT look. It was indescribable. It was like a look of acceptance and melancholy. Dipper thought it would be wise to keep his distance.

Wendy’s cellphone rings.
"Hello? Hey, Mr. Pines. One sec. Dipper, Stan wants to talk to you!"
Wonderful.
Dipper drags his feet over to Wendy.
"Hey Grunkle Stan everything’s fine over here please come back bye."
Dipper ends the call, returns the phone to Wendy, and turns to leave.
"Dipper." Wendy sighs.
Dipper stops in his tracks.
"Come sit with me." Wendy motions to the stool next to her. She pats the seat.
"O-oh well Wendy I would LOVE TO, but I have homework!" Dipper beings to sweat profusely
"YeS! Homework. Would you believe they assign homework over the summer now? I gotta get that work done so-" Dipper turns and starts walking to the living room.

Wendy furrows her brow, gets up, and picks up Dipper by the scruff of his neck. Dipper never realized how strong Wendy was until now.
She dropped Dipper onto the stool and sat down besides him.


It was silent in the Shack. Dipper was sweating bullets. His heart was racing. Was this the 8th level of Hell?

"You know what, dude. I've been thinking." Wendy said aloud. Dipper turned to her.

"I’ve been thinking about what we talked about after we found that bunker. Remember?" She turns to Dipper. She had THAT look again.
Unsure of himself, he nods silently.

“Well, when I was riding home...it slowly hit me! You could have died down there. I could have died down there!"
"I-it's alright, Wendy. We all made it out a-"
Wendy slams her fist on the counter.
"DUDE!"
Dipper shakes in fear.
"Don't interrupt, man. It's rude."
Dipper mummurs a sorry.

"Anyway. Thinking about your own mortality...it really gets to you, man. When I got home, I saw my family. For like, the very first time. I mean, yeah, I've seen them every day but on that night...It was like I've never seen them in this light. As...people. You know?"

Dipper did not know. But he did nod.

"I sat down and had dinner with them. It was...one of the greatest meals I ever had. And afterwards? We just talked. My dad talked about how he and my mother met? And you know the most interesting part of that story was?"

Dipper shook his head.

"The age difference. My dad was like six years older than my mother. It wasn't a big deal, ya know? And that story brought up what I said to you before I left."

Dipper's heart started pacing.

"You know, a two or three year age difference isn't THAT big of a deal, ya know?"

Dipper's heart was on the edge.

"I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with you, Dipper. There's a lot of things I wouldn't mind~!"

Dipper's heart was about to explode.

"R-really?"

Wendy leaned back with a sly grin on her face.

"Totally, man. On just one condition!" She winked at Dipper.

Dipper was in another plane of existence now. Watching the scene unfold in a Godlike manner.

"A-alright. What is it?" Dipper asked.

Wendy leaned upright. She leaned towards Dipper. Usually, Dipper would flinch away. Usually, Dipper couldn't even put two words into a sentence when around Wendy. That Dipper was gone now.

Wendy was now inches away from Dipper's ear. He could feel her hot breath upon his face. He could hear her breathing. This was the closest he has ever been with Wendy since coming to Gravity Falls. And after she utters that one demand, Dipper will be even closer!

"Dipper. You could have it all. Just let me peg you."

Dipper was silent. He didn't say anything. He didn't hear anything. He didn't see anything. For a brief span of time. Dipper Pines ceased to be.

"W-what?"

"Peg you. You know, it's a...thing. I always found it so fascinating. So...hot! But no other boyfriend would even consider it. Robbie almost did, but he chickened out." Wendy winced. She was so close to her goal with Robbie.

Dipper stuttered.

"I mean, it wouldn't even be that long! I put on the strap on, go to town for a few minutes and that's it! With the way I would do it, you wouldn't even feel anything about two minutes in!" Wendy tried to rationalize it.

"So. How about it?"

Dipper stuttered.

"B-but I'm not GAY!" Dipper finally got his words together.

Wendy stared at him. "No. Of course not. Nobody said it did."

Dipper's head began to hurt. Along with his heart.

"Come on, Dipper. I thought you more evolved than that. Don't be that way. Don't be itchy, man."

Dipper shook his head. "I-I'm sorry Wendy. I-I...I can't." Dipper's heart fell into the acidic sea that was his stomach.

Wendy glared at him. "Pffft. Whatever." She turned away, folding her arms.

Dipper tried to speak, but to no avail.

"WE'RE BACK!" Grunkle Stan announced as he entered the Gift Shop. It was too late.

Mabel ran into the shop with a purple balloon tied to her hand. Soos followed while holding a crate full of supplies.

"Dipper, I need you to head out to the woods and collect a variety of sticks. Gonna need 'em for a new scheme I just thought of. 'The Humble Bundle!' For $9.99, you get a bundle of sticks! It's going to make me rich! So, get a move on, already!"

"Yeah, DIPPER!" Wendy spat out while glaring at Dipper.

Dipper tried to say something, but just gave up. With his head held low, Dipper slowly walked out the door.

As the door closed, Wendy's forehead hit the counter.

Grunkle Stan narrowed his eyes.

'Hmmm. If I was a concerned caretaker and competent boss, I would ask what happened when I was gone.' Stan thought to himself.

'...Good thing I'm not!'

"Hey, kid! Wanna watch me count money?" he asked Mabel.

"Oh boy, DO I!" Mabel answered with enthusiasm.

Both ran towards Stan's office.

"Soos, open those crates and stock items while I'm gone." he yelled.

"Yes, sir, Mr. Pines!" Soos saluted.

It was just Soos and Wendy in the Gift Shop.

Wendy.
And Soos.

While Soos was stocking items, Wendy got herself together.

"Hey, Soos. How would you like to have a brand new experience AND make $20?" She asks with a sly grin on her face.

"Oh boy, DO I!" Soos answered with enthusiasm.