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- I was only 12 years old.
- I loved CS:GO so much.
- I had all the rare skins.
- I pray to Gaben every night, hoping I would unbox a knife some day.
- "Gaben is love," I said. "Gaben is life."
- My dad overhears me and calls me a hacker.
- I know he's just jealous that I got recruited into FaZe clan.
- I call him a hardscoper.
- My dad no scopes me and sends me to my room.
- As I feel my numb face, I turn on my PC and log into Steam.
- My hands are shivering as I click on the "PLAY" button to open up CS:GO
- "I'll show that hardscoper," I said.
- I open up the Steam Market Place, and purchase 20 Half Life 3 Cases and Keys.
- 10 minutes have passed by, and I've unboxed 19 Battle-Scarred Negev l Desert Strikes.
- As I move my cursor over to the final case, I click and select "OPEN".
- My cursor moves even slower as I move it towards the giant, green "USE KEY" button.
- I click the button.
- As I see all of these weapons fly by, the scroll finally starts slowing down.
- "I can't look," I said to myself. "My dad will noscope me when he see's that I've spent six grand on super exclusive and rare Half Life 3 Cases and Keys.
- I close my eyes and listen as I hear Gaben laughing over me, as if I am almost certain that I did not get a knife.
- I open my eyes.
- A large clump of feces leaves my ♥♥♥♥ very quick, as my eyes look at the item I have just been given by the Holy Gaben himself.
- Another clump starts sliding out as I stand up to run to my dad to tell him that I've just unboxed a StatTrak Factory New Karambit Fade.
- My dad cries as he suddenly gets his Steam account hacked by OpTic.
- I pull out my new knife and quickscope his face.
- I then walk into my room, take my pants off, and thrust my pelvic region into the air, imagining Gaben with me.
- "Gaben is love, Gaben is life."
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