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- >This is it.
- >This is going to be my biggest venture yet!
- >I can’t believe that I’ve been called by Princess Celestia herself!
- >I get to go out in the field and study the semi-elusive bird ponies.
- >Well, I’ve already done it a few times, but this one is going to be big.
- >I’m going to change up my tactics.
- >I’ve gathered all the data on bird ponies to date in order to do this.
- >I studied their behaviors, calls, body language, everything!
- >And it’s all going to go to use in this one glorious mission.
- >I’ve been perfecting the cries of the great peregrine falcon for a while.
- >And boy is that hard when you don’t have the same vocal part stuffed in you.
- >I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t planning on this mission before.
- >I’ve spent the past few months going through Tartarus to build up a stomach for meat.
- >Spent a lot of time with the griffons for that one.
- >Of course they got a lot of tough questions, like “why are you wanting to learn to hunt” or “why do you wish to eat the meat of other beings?”
- >It’s going to be completely worth it though.
- >Now let’s see what were those instructions?
- >”Find the garish looking castle and speak to Twilight about your mission.”
- >Sounds easy enough.
- >I can’t stay still long enough for this; I just want to get out there already!
- >Stupid royal orders are a double-edged sword.
- >*Knock knock*
- >”Hello? Oh! You must be that bird watcher Celestia told me about! Please come in.”
- “And you must be the distraction she told ME about before I could go into the field!”
- >”Riiiight. Anyway, Celestia didn’t really give me your name or other useful info.”
- “Say no more! My name is Finchy Feathers, one of the top birdwatchers in all of Equestria! You see it, I’ll draw it. You mimic it, I’ll name it.”
- >”Well I’m glad to have such a qualified pony for the job. Now, I have something I want you to do.”
- >Damn it.
- ”Can do princess.”
- >”There’s a zebra located within the Everfree named Zecora. She might know about the local bird pony species within the forest. I want you to go talk to her first and gather information about what she knows.”
- “Sounds easy enough. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get prepped.”
- >Stupid royalty weighing me down AGAIN.
- >Whatever. I just need to grab my stealth supplies and begin hiding the pesky giveaway on my butt.
- >Need to take care that I can mimic one of them or else they’ll get suspicious.
- >Got a good supply of stuff that’s really hard to get out.
- >Could last a few days through rough and tumble, water, you name it.
- “Alright princess can I leave my bag here?”
- >”What were you doing in there?”
- “Prepping myself by hiding my cutie mark.”
- >”Then why did it take you that long? And why are you leaving your stuff here?”
- “I-I was uh… calming my nerves to get ready for my excursion! And besides, I already got everything I need on me.”
- >”Nothing?”
- “You know you’re a very nosy pony. Why don’t you trust the expert here and not worry about it okay? Toodles your highness!”
- >Alright now I just gotta fly to the Everfree and we’ll be golden.
- >But I’m not stupid.
- >I need to swing around and come in from a different direction so these guys don’t know where I actually came from.
- >Flying feels really nice.
- >Especially after training my speed.
- >Need to match those traits, and when one of them is being the fastest bird around, you need to work for it.
- >Now to find this Zecora.
- >Shouldn’t be too hard to find where some voodoo pony lives in the middle of nowhere right?
- >It sticks out like a sore hoof with all those masks and things on it!
- >Power dive!
- >This is so invigorating!
- >This must be what that Rainbow pony feels!
- >*THUD*
- >Okay so I still need to work on slowing for landing.
- >But hey, at least it’s nice and quick to get here.
- >*Knock knock*
- “Hello? Is Zecora home?”
- >”Hm? Who’s voice is that I heard? Why, it looks like it belongs to a bird.”
- >Oh great, rhyming.
- “Princess Twilight sent me. Can you let me inside?”
- >”If it’s anything like the Twilight I know, then you must be here for quite the show.”
- >Wow this place isn’t too bad.
- >Nice and secluded in a great looking part of the forest.
- >Neat aesthetics too.
- >”So tell me then you pony bird, if Twilight sent you, then what’s the word?”
- “Alright to let you in on a secret, I’m not actually a bird. However, Twilight sent me to study them, and so I’m all made up to look like one.”
- >”Study the native birds you say? It won’t be easy, but I’m sure you’ll find a way.”
- >Just need to grab my notebook and pencil from my mane and we’ll be good to go.
- “She said I should go to you first because you might know a thing or two about them. What’s the most contact you’ve had with any of them?”
- >”Fleeting glances and shadowed looks. Always up high in crannies and nooks.”
- >How is she always able to answer something and rhyme like that?
- “What kinds have you seen?”
- >”Harmless ones that were colored bright. Though there might have been predators in that low light.”
- “Speaking of predators… do you ever find any small animals out her?”
- >”There are many creatures that are small and swift. You will not go hungry if you catch my drift.”
- “Thanks Zecora. I’ll be heading out now.”
- >”Take care to keep up you ruse, or it won’t end well for you I muse.”
- >Yeah yeah.
- >There’s some shaman living in the middle of one of the most dangerous places in Equestria who speaks nothing but rhymes, and Twilight wants to study birds?
- >Oh well, looks like the great Finchy will start her greatest expedition yet.
- >Let the games begin.
- >It’s been three hours.
- >I haven’t caught a trace of a bird pony.
- >No hoofprints, no droppings, no nothing.
- >My ears are starting to get tired from swiveling around so much.
- >At least this time I can move around.
- >Waiting six hours in a bush for something to come was not fun.
- >Hmmmmmm, I feel like I’m close though.
- >*Grumble*
- >Close to starving too.
- >Great, now I have to hunt for some food instead of my sweet little bird friends.
- >Aha!
- >Rabbit sighted, and I’m closing!
- >Just gotta grab the little sucker and…
- >*Whump*
- >Got ya, stupid rodent!
- >Now I just need to give it a nice flick and I’ll have my lunch.
- >*Crack*
- >There we go.
- >Normal ponies would probably see me as some kind of monster if they knew what I’m doing.
- >Bah, they just don’t have the right mindset.
- >Griffons do it and I’ve never seen anypony complain about them.
- >Gotta make sacrifices for the cause, and this cause is a beauty.
- >Boy those griffons never really told me how filling meat was when I went on my first hunt.
- >Though it is a bit hard to get started without the right teeth to tear up flesh.
- >That part can get extremely messy.
- >And horridly furry.
- >Stupid fur always wanting to just tear out and jump down my throat.
- >Wow that really hit the spot.
- >Now it’s just time to start heading back out and seeing if I can find anything again.
- >I think I hear some water nearby.
- >That would be nice to have some water to drink and clean off in.
- >Just need to follow the sound Finchy.
- >Follow the sound and you’ll not only have a nice little rest spot, but a place where some of these guys are bound to go to!
- >*Splash*
- >”Damn!”
- >Ooooooh looks like I’ve got something!
- >Just need to lay low and see what we got.
- >Time to pull out the old notebook and where did she go?
- >Ahh there she is.
- >Nice and high above the water.
- >Now let’s see what we got.
- >Nice colors with some blue, holding herself high and keeping that head really still.
- >Making a dive.
- >*Splash*
- >”GCHA!”
- >I think I found myself a lovely little kingfisher, or dare I say queenfisher in her case.
- >I knew this place would be perfect.
- >I get to see a bird pony hunting!
- >Just need to take some notes before approaching her.
- >Wowee the stability on that head is incredible!
- >*Splash*
- >Oh this is really good.
- >I wonder how she would react to modern fishing.
- >Oh well, time to make myself known.
- “Screeeeeeeeak”
- >”Huh? Oi, who said that?”
- >”Hello. That would be me.”
- >”Hmmmmm. Yer quite large. What are ye exactly?”
- “Well I happen to be-“
- >”No no wait I can answer that one!”
- >Rude.
- >”Yerrrrrrrrrr. Oh lessee now. Yer one of those fancy ol’ high and might birds of prey that’s what!”
- “I happen to be a peregrine falcon thank you very much.”
- >”Bah. It don’t matter about the specifics. Now what’s a big girl like you doing out here? We don’t get many of you raptor folk since there ain’t much room for you.”
- >What is the deal with that accent?
- >We’re forever away from where the dialect is normally spoken!
- “Just thought I’d go out and explore really. See all the cool things that are out there.”
- >”That sounds nice. Sometimes I think about goin’ out seein’ all those luscious fishies that are out there.”
- “Well what’s stopping you?”
- >”Really? The ponies. I just don’t think that they’d really like me. One o’ my friends from a long time ago said they don’t really get along with one’s that are different from them.”
- “Well we’re similar enough to the ponies, right? Maybe that’ll be enough for them to welcome you.”
- >”I dunno. I s’pose that they might HEY WAIT JUST A DARN MOMENT!”
- >Okay, getting really too far in my personal bubble here.
- >”Yer not tryin’ to steal my catch are you?”
- “No. I already ate if you couldn’t tell. I just came by to get a drink and clean off.”
- >C’mon stop eyeballing me.
- >”…Alright. Sorry about that. It’s just that I know a couple of times when a wanderin’ raptor would come by, and they’d try pickin’ on smaller birds.”
- >Oh thank Celestia.
- >It really would be bad to make an enemy out here and be hounded down by them.
- >”Can’t say why though. Seein’ a big butch eagle wanting some measly little fish or a squirrel is kinda weird.”
- >These would make for interesting stories I’m sure.
- >Really though I just want to get cleaned off.
- >I don’t like it when the blood starts caking to my coat.
- >This is really refreshing.
- >Just me, and some nice cool water to drink in and wash down some fresh rabbit.
- >And a bird scarfing down fish like nopony’s business.
- “Hey, I didn’t get your name.”
- >”Oh me? Hah! You can call me Ishmael!”
- >Ishmael?
- >I would have expected that from a pelican or something.
- >And a male.
- >Did her parents know that?
- >Oh well.
- “You have any friends or nest mates?”
- >”Do I! Oh you will love them I can guarantee that! Lessee there’s uh… um.”
- >You tell me you have some friends and immediately can’t name any of them.
- >I just LOVE dealing with featherbrains like you.
- >”There’s…ooooh BOLLOCKS! Stupid brain can’t even remember one of your best friends like… CLOCKWORK!”
- “Huh?”
- >”Clockwork. That’s his name. Real sweet, though he can be pretty timid.”
- “Why’s that?”
- >”Oh never mind the details lass. Come on and I can show ya!”
- >I really hope everyone in this forest isn’t a complete loon.
- >I also really hope that isn’t something really offensive to say to bird ponies.
- >Maybe the insanity is a side effect of living in the Everfree.
- >I really hope one of these birds don’t drag me into one of those really dangerous parts.
- >I don’t want to be eaten by anything out here.
- >”OI! YA GOT A VISITOR YA GRAY FEATHERHEAD!”
- >Why is there coughing coming from the trees.
- >”AGH WHY? C-come on I was eating! You near scared me to death!”
- >That’s why.
- >Well at least I can finally see a male up close.
- >More stuff to explore and I love it!
- >”Well like I said. You have a visitor and you should come down and introduce yerself.”
- >What does come down is a very gray pony.
- >Like, she wasn’t kidding about the gray part.
- >”H-hello. I’m Clockwork, though I’m sure a certain SOMEBODY already told you.”
- >”Oh come on. You didn’t get hurt.”
- >Wow that is one wicked scrunch.
- “Well it’s nice to meet you. What kind of bird are you?”
- >”Oh u-uhm w-well. I… I’m a…”
- >This kid is stammering and trying to avoid eye contact like a foal with his first crush.
- >Oh I really hope I didn’t say anything wrong.
- >”Come on now. She can handle it. She’s a nice, strong falcon ya see?”
- >”I-I’m a… cuckoo.”
- >Oh.
- >Well at least now the name makes sense.
- >Damn cuckoo clocks and their annoying noises.
- >Oh Celestia he looks like he’s on the verge of a breakdown.
- >Come on say something to change the topic.
- “My name is Finchy. Like she said, I’m a falcon. I’ve been wandering around a lot to see what there is to see.”
- >”W-well why would you come down to a crowded forest like this?”
- >Jackpot.
- >”That’s exactly what I said! Ya got no room to fly like yer home, but if you do then it’s above the trees where you can’t see anything!”
- “I just wanted to go around and see things. A forest like this is bound to have something interesting in it, and plenty of new birds to meet.”
- >”Oh oh! Did you meet any ponies?”
- “Well I’ve talked to a few that I’ve met. I haven’t really gone out of my way to go to one of their towns though.”
- >Can’t slip up now or it would be bad.
- >Can’t say anything where I might slip up later either.
- >Man this is really mundane yet intense!
- >Who knew that acting normal would put so much stress on your nerves?
- >”What about that one town near here? Did you see that?”
- “We’re in the middle of the forest, how do you know about that place?”
- >”Oh well that’s because I came from some woods not too far from here. When I was flying I noticed one of those little town thingies between here and there.”
- >Whitetail Woods huh?
- >Smells like another beautiful expedition to me.
- >Don’t get ahead of yourself Finchy.
- >You haven’t even finished this one yet.
- >Just take it a day at a time and I’m sure you’ll be able to get another one going.
- >”I’m gonna go back to eating IN PEACE.”
- >”Oh fine. Go back to eating your piles of fuzz with caterpillars attached to them.”
- >He is really huffy.
- >I’m surprised these two get along at all.
- “Don’t stress the details huh? I almost made the poor kid cry!”
- >”Well… I guess yer right about that. Woops.”
- >Yeah, “woops” indeed.
- >Poor bird probably hates himself for what he did.
- >Oh I can’t even imagine the amount of hate he might have gotten over the years.
- >And he seems so nice too.
- >I guess he just really doesn’t want his lineage to get in the way of anything.
- “So what do you do around here? Anything fun?”
- >”Oh ya know. Stuff… eatin’… and things like that.”
- >No I don’t know, and that was severely unhelpful.
- “Is there anything you like to do for fun? Any other birds you visit or anything?”
- >”I like to build things like nests sometimes. Oh and yeah there are some other birds I like to meet up with that are around.”
- “What do you like to do with them? Just hang out or something?”
- >She doesn’t really seem too sure of herself.
- >”Yeah sometimes we like to play some games with each other.”
- “Liiiike?”
- >Is she sweating?
- >”Uhhh… hide and seek. Like to draw sometimes too.”
- >What is the deal with her?
- >Why does she seem so ne-
- >Oh sweet Celestia I really hope this isn’t implying that!
- >… I wonder what kind of birds she does it with, and if they’re exclusively male.
- >N-no, stop that!
- >You need to remain professional.
- >A-at least until they’re sleeping.
- >”So uhhh… what do you like to do?”
- “Oh um. Fly, look at the scenery. Hunting is really nice and invigorating.”
- >”Aye, that it can be. So do you want to just hang out for the rest of the day then? Maybe you can talk to ol’ Clock some more.”
- “Yeah sure. It sounds fun and I don’t really have to leave any time soon.”
- >Now I just hope it isn’t as boring as I’ve been guessing.
- >SWEET CELESTIA THIS IS AGONIZING!
- >These two are some of the most boring ponies I’ve been with!
- >Oh I am so glad that night is falling because I don’t think I could stand any more of this.
- >”Oh but Finchy, you sit around and do nothing for hours on end already!”
- >Yeah, but I have to stay vigilant and not have to sit around in an awkward silence with other ponies!
- >”Well I think we’re goin’ to pack it in for the night. You can go sleep on a branch or some bushes or whatever you do.”
- >Yes, please do so I can peacefully write my accounts under the moonlight.
- “Alright then. Night Ishmael.”
- >I don’t care what other kinds of birds there are out here; there is no way I’m going to stay more than a few hours tomorrow.
- >I am so gone.
- >Oh but I also have to “report my findings” to princess purple.
- >Stupid princesses ruining everything on this trip even if they are the reason I’m here in the first place.
- >Alright it looks like they’re finally asleep.
- >Time to whip out my trusty little book and get to work.
- >Even if they were completely uninteresting there’s still a lot I got to pick up!
- >Oh and perfect!
- >A nice little break to let the light in on the nest!
- >L-look drawing ponies in their sleep is totally not creepy.
- >It’s totally for scientific purposes this time!
- >Yes, totally scientifically and accurately drawing the sleeping male rolled over just so, so that I can get a looksee at the prize between his legs.
- >A-and the slick spot where I will be sleeping is totally professional as well.
- >Just need to finish that up and I’ll be off to sleep.
- >”OI WAKE UP ALREADY!”
- “EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAKK!”
- >FUCK, BIRDS, YELLING, WHY?
- >”Goodness gracious you’ve got some lungs on ya. They could probably hear you all the way at that pony place.”
- >Oh I think I can feel my heart trying to escape my chest like a jackhammer.
- “Is there… ANY REASON you had to wake me up… so violently?”
- >Good think you like fish because right now I feel like slapping you upside the head with a trout.
- >”Well the sun rose up some time ago, and I didn’t want you to miss out on the day. Especially didn’t want ya to miss out on whatever meals you might want that are scampering around.”
- “T-thanks. Say, I’m gonna head out after I go grab something to eat. It was nice meeting you two.”
- >”Well it’s always a pleasure to meet a new bird, Finchy! Have fun on your travels!”
- >”Yeah! Go see some more ponies for me!”
- >Man this morning may be dull and uninteresting, but at least it’s better than twiddling my hooves for hours on end.
- >Spend time hunting something, eat it, wash off, head home.
- >Well, the first stop to home at least.
- >I can already see that stupid castle now.
- >I hope she didn’t look through my stuff or damage anything.
- “Hello? Princess?”
- >…
- >No answer.
- >Is she out?
- >”I don’t know who this is, but Twilight went out to take care of something!”
- >I don’t know who you are either, but thanks for that.
- >Though it probably would have been more considerate to tell me in person.
- >Weeeeell since she isn’t here then I guess I can just grab my things and hop on a train ride home.
- >Yeah that sounds perfect.
- >No use waiting around.
- >Besides, it’s not like she wants any bird information THAT badly right?
- >Well it’s a long trip home, so I guess I can start thinking of another covert expedition to do.
- >This is only the beginning.
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