Advertisement
FluffandCrunch

Step One

Apr 16th, 2012
6,062
0
Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 25.49 KB | None | 0 0
  1. With the long day of work behind me, test scores and grades swarming like clouds of insects all around my head and buzzing through my ears, I pull into the driveway and shut the car off, taking a few moments to simply breathe in and out. In a rare show of compassion, Shizune offered to cover for me the rest of the day so that I could get home to Lilly and our new baby girl.
  2.  
  3. The first thing I want to do when I get inside is pick that little miracle up and just listen to her breath, I think with a smile.
  4.  
  5. I exit the car and rush towards the front door, fumbling with my keys. Before I enter, I knock three distinctive times to announce my presence to Lilly before stepping into the foyer.
  6. “Guess who's home early?” I call out excitedly.
  7.  
  8. I'm surprised to find Lilly in the front living room, resting on the couch. She looks up suddenly, a hand to her chest and a small gasp of surprise on her lips.
  9. “Hisao! I....I didn't expect you home so early!”
  10.  
  11. “I wanted to rush home and see my two girls.”
  12. Lilly holds her hands tightly in her lap, a distressed look on her face.
  13. That's when I notice the open bottle and empty glass on the coffee table.
  14. “Wine? This early? What's the occasion?”
  15.  
  16. Lilly hesitates for a moment.
  17. “No occasion, not really. I was just having a drink. Long day, you understand.“
  18. “Problems with the little one?”
  19. “Well, she did cry for some time, but she settled down for a nap just about an hour ago.“
  20.  
  21. “Oh,” I say, a little disappointed. “I wanted to play with her a little while. Oh, well, I'll let her get her sleep.“
  22. I walk over to the table and pick the large bottle up, intending to pour myself a drink.
  23. There's barely enough to fill half a glass.
  24.  
  25. I hold the bottle by the neck, testing it's too little weight.
  26. “Lilly, is this the bottle I opened yesterday? It's practically empty.“
  27.  
  28. “Is it? I hadn't noticed.”
  29.  
  30. I look towards my wife, sitting on the couch with a strained look on her face.
  31. I hesitate before speaking.
  32. “Did you drink all of this?”
  33.  
  34. Lilly licks her lips nervously.
  35. “I may have. I wasn't really keeping track, to be honest.“
  36.  
  37. “How long have you been sitting here?”
  38.  
  39. She shrugs and adjusts her hair, her fingers affected by a slight tremor.
  40. “I'm not sure, Hisao.”
  41.  
  42. “You said you put her down for a nap an hour ago, did you drink all of this in that time?“
  43.  
  44. She sighs.
  45. “Hisao, I said I'm not sure. I must have lost track of time, that's all.“
  46.  
  47. “Yea,” I say, hefting the bottle lightly, “and the number of drinks you've had.”
  48.  
  49. “Oh, Hisao!” she says exasperatedly, “It's just a little wine, that's all.”
  50.  
  51. I look her up and down, noticing the stiffness in her back and the protective angle of her arms.
  52. I take a few steps away from the couch.
  53. “Come here.”
  54.  
  55. She hesitates.
  56. “Why, what is it?”
  57.  
  58. “Just come here, please.”
  59.  
  60. Lilly pauses for a moment before slowly standing up, smoothing out her skirt and straightening her hair as she does.
  61. She takes a few careful steps around the coffee table, it's position memorized after so many years of living together.
  62. Still, she hesitates and stumbles slightly as she makes her way towards me.
  63.  
  64. “Lilly, is this really the bottle we opened yesterday?”
  65. She waits entirely too long to answer.
  66. “Yes.”
  67.  
  68. “No, I don't think it is. We had two of these years in the wine cabinet. If I go back there, am I going to find it still on the shelf?“
  69.  
  70. She laces her hands in front of her, her fingers dancing against one another.
  71. “No, I...may have finished that one off earlier....”
  72.  
  73. My mouth drops open in astonishment.
  74. “You drank nearly two bottles today? Lilly!“
  75.  
  76. “Oh, Hisao, stop it!” she says, ire rising in her voice, “I had a few drinks, that's all! I spent all day with the baby and she was being very temperamental!“
  77.  
  78. “Lilly, a few drinks isn't two whole bottles!”
  79. Something clicks in my mind.
  80. “Is this why I've been buying so much wine lately? You've been...drinking while I'm at work and you're supposed to be taking care of our daughter?“
  81.  
  82. “You are being overly dramatic, Hisao!” she says angrily, “you are reading too deeply into things. It's nothing!“
  83.  
  84. “This isn't 'nothing' Lilly. How long has this been going on?“
  85.  
  86. She shakes her head, her curls bouncing.
  87. “Nothing is going on, Hisao!”
  88.  
  89. Lilly steps around me and retreats into the hall, her hand on the wall for support and, I'm sure, not because of her blindness.
  90. I follow her into the kitchen, close behind.
  91.  
  92. “Lilly, I want to talk about this.”
  93.  
  94. She turns towards me and I see just the slightest hint of strain on her face.
  95. “There is nothing...to talk about,” she says with just barely a hiss of anger.
  96.  
  97. I plunk the bottle onto the kitchen counter hard.
  98. “This? This is nothing?”
  99.  
  100. I pull the lid off the recycle bin and find the other bottle.
  101. I slam it next to the other one.
  102. “This one too? Is this nothing as well?”
  103.  
  104. I'm becoming irrational and I take a moment to calm myself.
  105. “What has gotten into you? You're supposed to be watching our daughter and I find you getting drunk?“
  106.  
  107. Lilly's lips curls into an unfamiliar looking snarl.
  108. “Well, I can tell you what hasn't been 'getting into me' and that would be you!“
  109.  
  110. I reel back, stunned for a minute by her words.
  111. “I... I know I've been working a lot, I admit it. And with the baby being born and Hanako on vacation, I know we've been busy and haven't spent much time together, but that's no excuse!“
  112.  
  113. She scoffs, the color in her cheeks beginning to rise, turning to face away from me.
  114. “I don't want to talk about Hanako right now....”
  115.  
  116. “What is wrong with you?”
  117.  
  118. She turns on me violently and I've never seen Lilly so angry before.
  119. “'What's wrong with me'? You want to know what's wrong with me? You know very well what's 'wrong' with me! The last nine months have been nothing but what is wrong with me! Every day since Hanako left all our daughter has done is cry and cry and cry! And you're gone all day and I'm doing everything I can to comfort her and nothing works!“
  120.  
  121. She moves around me, pushing me aside and heads towards the stairs.
  122.  
  123. “Where are you going?“ I ask.
  124.  
  125. She begins heading upwards without looking back.
  126.  
  127. “I'm upset, Hisao! I want to hold my daughter, if that's all right with you!“
  128.  
  129. I see her knees wobble as she mounts the stairs and a chill goes up my spine.
  130.  
  131. “No way!”
  132.  
  133. I follow her and cut her off in the upstairs hallway, blocking the hallway to the nursery.
  134. “Please move, Hisao!” she says, holding her voice back from a shout.
  135.  
  136. “No, you're not holding her when you're like this, I'm not comfortable with that.“
  137.  
  138. “How dare you!” she says, her face twisting into outrage and anger. “How dare you tell me when I can hold my own daughter! I may not have delivered her, but she's my daughter! I have every right to hold her when I please! She's my daughter, not Hanako's!“
  139.  
  140. Still blocking the hallway, agony grips my heart in a burning hot vice.
  141. “Is that what this is about? You never gave me any idea that Hanako being our surrogate was bothering you!“
  142.  
  143. She laughs and it's an ugly and bitter sound, a sound I don't like hearing from her.
  144. “So you finally caught on, then? You always were a little slow, Hisao, but I never imagined it would take this long for you to realize!“
  145.  
  146. I let the barb slide, knowing she doesn't really mean it.
  147. “Hanako is the reason we have our daughter in the first place! There's no reason you should be angry with her!“
  148.  
  149. “Don't you defend her!” she screams. “You are married to me, Hisao, not her! No matter how many times the three of us are together, you remember you're married to me! I am your wife! She's just someone we happen to fuck!“
  150.  
  151. The filthy word blasts into my ear and knocks the wind clear out of me, leaving me breathless and stunned.
  152. It takes me a long time to recover my senses after that outburst from Lilly. It's the worst thing I've ever heard her say before!
  153. I manage to speak in a low and controlled voice, only grateful Hanako isn't around to hear this.
  154. “You...are not holding our daughter until you get a hold of yourself.“
  155.  
  156. Her hands reach out and push me away from her, hard.
  157. “You are not my Father! Don't you tell me to control myself!“
  158. Lilly pushes me a second time and I grab hold of her wrists as softly as I can manage.
  159.  
  160. “Let me go!” she cries.
  161.  
  162. “Not until you calm down!”
  163.  
  164. “I'm warning you, Hisao! Let me go this instant!”
  165.  
  166. “No!”
  167.  
  168. She pulls and tears her hands away, swinging wildly at me.
  169. Her hand connects and I feel a sharp pain strike me across the face with a resounding and firm smack.
  170.  
  171. Stunned, I reel back, my face burning at the point of impact.
  172. Lilly is as shocked as I am, her hands covering the surprised gasp from her mouth.
  173.  
  174. We stand in the hall silently for several eternal seconds, the slap echoing all around us.
  175.  
  176. “Hisao....” Lilly whimpers.
  177.  
  178. I blink several times and gingerly touch my face, wiping a speck of blood where my lip burst against my teeth. The tiny droplet is crimson against my fingertips.
  179. I feel bile rise in my throat, a burning in my chest as my temper threatens to flare into rage.
  180.  
  181. I see myself suddenly lashing out at Lilly.
  182.  
  183. I kill the thought, murder it, burn it out of my mind, smother it, crush it, suffocate it before it breaks free like a caged monster.
  184.  
  185. “...Hisao, I am so sorry,” Lilly whispers pathetically. “Are...are you all right? I didn't know what I was doing, I was just trying to get free, I swear!“
  186.  
  187. I take a moment, shaking in anger, and draw a few ragged breaths before turning away from Lilly and walking down the hallway, fists clenched at my side.
  188.  
  189. She hesitates before following me.
  190. “H-Hisao? What are you doing?”
  191.  
  192. I don't turn back towards her.
  193. I don't dare.
  194. I head straight for our room.
  195.  
  196. She follows through the door.
  197. “Hisao, please, say something!”
  198.  
  199. I grab a small travel bag from under the bed and throw in a change of clothes.
  200.  
  201. “Hisao, what are you doing?!”
  202.  
  203. I turn back to Lilly, the bag slung over my shoulder.
  204. “I'm going to Kenji's. I'm taking the baby with me.“
  205.  
  206. Lilly is paralyzed, rooted to the floor of our bedroom, her body stock still and her eyes painfully wide.
  207. “You're...you're leaving me?”
  208.  
  209. “Just for tonight. I'll be back tomorrow once we've both calmed down.“
  210.  
  211. She takes a few hesitant steps into the room, her arms outstretched until she finds me, her hands on my chest, searching and feeling me out.
  212. “You don't have to do that. I'm sorry. I said I was sorry! I'll do as you say, I'll leave her be tonight.“
  213.  
  214. Her shaking hands find my face and circle my cheeks, her fingers delicately etching out the pattern of my features.
  215. "You don't have to go. I'm sorry! You can stay!”
  216. She leans up and touches my face, drawing close to me.
  217. “I am so sorry, Hisao. Please stay! Stay with me tonight. I promise I'll make it up to you!“
  218.  
  219. Her trembling fingers find my lips and she presses her mouth to mine, sending pleasant chills through my body.
  220.  
  221. “I'm sorry,” she says in a seductive whisper, “let me make it up to you. I promise I will.“
  222.  
  223. I taste the pleasant familiarity of her lips and my grip on the bag begins to loosen. My arms want to wrap around her as they have so many times before. The motion would be easy, the most natural thing for me to do in the world.
  224.  
  225. There's something else, though. A desperate, panicky need under the surface of her actions.
  226. I feel a stony resolve that inures me to my innate desire.
  227.  
  228. I can taste the alcohol on her lips.
  229.  
  230. With a supreme effort of control, I gently remove her hands from my face and place them at her sides.
  231.  
  232. “No.”
  233.  
  234. Lilly recoils from me, her hands grasping her chest protectively, her voice filled with shocked and broken whispers.
  235. “No? No!? Hisao...you've never refused me before!”
  236.  
  237. “I know, but this time I have to.”
  238.  
  239. Her eyes stare at me and tears begin to well up on her reddened cheeks.
  240. “But why?!”
  241.  
  242. “Because Lilly, I want nothing more than to wrap myself around you and hear you say that you're sorry. Then I want to forgive you and we'll try to forget this argument ever happened. That's what I want to do more than anything.“
  243.  
  244. My grip on the bag tightens.
  245.  
  246. “But if I do that, I'll just bury this inside and then there's a chance that this could happen again. And that time it'll be even easier to forgive you and I'll bury that too. If I did that, I don't know how many times I'll be able to control myself before.... “
  247.  
  248. I breathe a sharp intake of air.
  249.  
  250. “If I'm not here tonight, maybe we'll remember this.“
  251.  
  252. I step around Lilly and exit our bedroom. She follows some distance behind, a shadow following the sound of my footsteps.
  253. I go to the nursery, filled with dolls and lace and baby toys and gratefully find my daughter sleeping peacefully in Lilly's old antique crib. She doesn't stir at all, despite the noise and violence in the house.
  254.  
  255. I take her carry bag and loop it around my shoulder, then I gingerly pick her up and hold her in my arms, Lilly standing in the doorway, listening to my movements with tears on her face, hands wrapped tightly around the door frame.
  256.  
  257. I silently head downstairs, Lilly behind me still.
  258. I make it out the front door before she speaks again.
  259.  
  260. “Hisao...please. Please, don't leave me here alone.”
  261.  
  262. I stop dead on the porch and have to gasp for air, the action burning in my lungs, my heart pounding in my chest against my ribs.
  263.  
  264. “I'll be back tomorrow morning. I promise. Maybe we should use the time to think about what just happened.“
  265.  
  266. I take another step before halting.
  267. I hesitate before looking back at Lilly as she clings to the door and I deliver my ultimatum.
  268. “If I smell alcohol when I get back, I'll be staying at Kenji's for the weekend.“
  269.  
  270. I secure my sleeping daughter in her car seat and slide in behind the wheel.
  271.  
  272. As I pull away, the last thing I see in the rear view mirror is Lilly still standing in the door frame listening to us drive away.
  273.  
  274. ----------------------------------------
  275.  
  276. I have to give Kenji credit, he's the best friend a man could ask for.
  277. I show up unexpectedly with an overnight bag in one arm and a sleeping baby in the other and he doesn't even question it. As soon as I come into the focus of his eyes, he takes me off his front doorstep and ushers me into his apartment.
  278.  
  279. I feel bad when I see Yuuko sitting on the couch in a pretty dress. I realize I must have interrupted something and I offer to leave, but neither one will hear me out.
  280. They don't even ask for an explanation and when I try to give them one, they refuse to listen.
  281.  
  282. Later that night, my daughter wakes up and Yuuko plays with her on the living room floor, Kenji watching the two of them with an uncharacteristic fondness on his face.
  283. I spend my time on the tiny porch of Kenji's apartment, staring out at the city.
  284.  
  285. I kill myself slowly with a pack of bummed cigarettes Kenji gave me.
  286. He offered me a whisky as well.
  287. I felt sick at the sight of it.
  288.  
  289. Over many countless hours, I grab my keys at least three times to head home, but I drop them back into my pocket every time.
  290.  
  291. I debate over and over again about the merits of my decision.
  292. I left because I had to.
  293. I left because I was afraid of what Lilly would say to me in her anger.
  294. I left because I was afraid of what I would do in my own.
  295.  
  296. My face still smarts and every so often I poke at my jaw and flinch at the touch to remind me I can still feel pain and that the incident actually happened.
  297.  
  298. Night comes and, with full pack of Kenji's terrible tasting cigarettes polluting my lungs, my breath comes in long wheezes. Doubt has thoroughly eroded my judgement.
  299.  
  300. What the hell is wrong with me, I think?
  301.  
  302. Thinking purely objectively, I left my blind, drunk wife alone in our home after the worst fight we've ever had and I took our daughter away with me.
  303.  
  304. Lilly was right, I am slow!
  305.  
  306. I have to go back.
  307.  
  308. I step into the apartment and find Kenji and Yuuko sitting on the couch, my daughter sleeping peacefully in her carrier between the two of them.
  309.  
  310. I start to speak, but Kenji waves me off.
  311. “Don't bother. We'll watch her tonight. Go.”
  312.  
  313. I want to say something to the two of them but I have no words to give.
  314. I rush down the stairs to the parking lot, jump into the car and drive entirely too fast home through the chill night air.
  315.  
  316. I phone home several times, slamming the speed dial button as soon as the machine picks up my call.
  317.  
  318. There's no answer.
  319.  
  320. ----------------------------------------
  321.  
  322. In the late hours of the night, I park sloppily, two wheels on the lawn.
  323. The front porch light is out.
  324. I rush up to the door, finding it unlocked and pass through the empty, dark living room.
  325. Inside the kitchen, I flip on the light and find something I hadn't expected.
  326.  
  327. The kitchen counter is lined with bottles, all arranged by size and type in neat rows. Dark wine bottles, a few gold champagne ones and even several square bottles of my Scotch and whiskey, all emptied out from the extensive collection we keep on hand.
  328. There's a few I don't recognize and I shudder to wonder where they had been hidden.
  329.  
  330. I take the stairs one at a time, carefully listening to where Lilly might be.
  331.  
  332. My hand shakes as I open the door to the room we share.
  333. I find her curled in our bed, asleep and sprawled atop the covers. My heart lurches at the sight when I see my clothes from yesterday laid out, Lilly lying with her face against my shirt, holding them close to her, her hair undone and spread like a messy, golden halo around her head.
  334.  
  335. I step quietly into the room and shut the door behind me. The click causes Lilly to stir, her eyes blinking repeatedly, her face stained with streaks of makeup and tears.
  336. “H-Hisao?” she asks, a little unsure.
  337.  
  338. “It's me, Lilly.”
  339.  
  340. “Where...where is she?”
  341.  
  342. “Our daughter's all right. She's with Kenji and Yuuko. They're watching her.“
  343.  
  344. She breathes in a sigh of relief and her face lights up as best it can. She rubs at her eyes and her streaked make-up, dragging her fingers through her unbrushed hair, automatically trying to arrange her messy appearance as best she can.
  345. “Is it...is it morning already?”
  346.  
  347. “No, it's a few hours till then,” I say, walking up to the bed and sitting on the edge.
  348. “I came back early. Lilly, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you here alone. I was angry enough that I had to leave. I should have stayed with you and talked.“
  349.  
  350. She crawls on the bed and feels outwards, searching for me. I lay down and I catch her fingers in mine. She pulls herself in, wrapping her arms and even legs around me and pressing her face against my chest, shivering slightly as she does, the two of us laying together on the bed.
  351.  
  352. “No, I'm sorry. It's my fault. You didn't do anything wrong. Hisao, I am so, so sorry! I didn't mean to strike you or yell or say those horrible things about you or Hanako! I don't know what came over me!“
  353.  
  354. She shakes and quivers against me and I hold her close to my side, every available inch of our bodies pressed against one another, limbs entwined, knotted around the other.
  355.  
  356. “It's okay, Lilly. It's okay.”
  357. “No, no, it's not okay,” she sobs.
  358.  
  359. She pushes gently away and sits up in bed, legs curled up beneath her.
  360.  
  361. “It's not okay. Nothing I've done is okay!”
  362. Her hands clenched in front of her, her shoulders shaking, Lilly's mouth quivers. My wife looks like a wreck, her hair in disarray, clothes disheveled, her cheeks stained with tears and her eyes blurry and red.
  363.  
  364. “I did what you said. I thought about what happened. I-I poured everything out! It's all down the sink, I promise! All of it! Even some bottles you didn't know about. I promise you, there's nothing left in the house, I swear!“
  365.  
  366. “I saw that.”
  367. I grimace a little.
  368. “You even poured out my Scotch.”
  369.  
  370. She touches her cheek and looks a little bashful and embarrassed through her distraught features for a moment.
  371. “I know. I didn't at first. But then I started to get tempted. It had to go. I'm sorry, Hisao. It wasn't mine to do that with.“
  372.  
  373. I shake my head and take her hand into mine.
  374. “No, it's all right. I'm proud of you. Thank you.”
  375.  
  376. She swallows and take a moment to collect herself, summoning up her courage.
  377. She speaks haltingly and hesitantly.
  378. “The truth is, Hisao...this has been going on for some time.“
  379.  
  380. I wince at the meaning of her words.
  381. “How long?”
  382.  
  383. She shrugs helplessly and turns away from me, her embarrassment and shame plain and clear on her face.
  384. “A few months. Since the baby was born. A little before that, truthfully.”
  385.  
  386. I grimace and want to bash my skull against a concrete block.
  387. How could I have not known? How did I not see this happening?
  388. For God's sake, I live in the house with her!
  389.  
  390. “Lilly...I don't...I don't understand! Why? If you needed to talk to me about it, about anything, I would have listened! Why didn't you tell me about this?“
  391.  
  392. She cringes away from me, but I hold to her tightly before she can break away.
  393.  
  394. “I can't tell you!“
  395.  
  396. I grip her shoulders.
  397.  
  398. “No secrets, Lilly. Never again. I already told you, I would be here for you no matter what. Please! Tell me what's wrong!“
  399.  
  400. Lilly stops cold, all emotion leaving her face, her body dangerously lax and still.
  401. “I thought about it.”
  402. She breathes a heavy, sobbing wrack.
  403. “I think....”
  404. I wait for her to answer.
  405.  
  406. “It's because....”
  407.  
  408. Her fists tighten, knuckles stark white. Her eyes close, clenched painfully tight.
  409. The outward restraint shatters and the floodgates open.
  410.  
  411. “It's because I hate you!”
  412.  
  413. Lilly rips my chest open and tears out my defective heart, showing it to me before I die slowly and painfully in her arms.
  414.  
  415. “I hate you! I hate that you won't blame me for not having your child! And I hate myself because I can't have your children for you and all I ever wanted was for us to have a family together!“
  416.  
  417. She pounds her tiny fists feebly into the mattress over and over again in her fit, the tears of rage falling down her face.
  418.  
  419. “I hate her! I hate Hanako! I hate her so much, because she's healthy and she can have as many children as she wants! I hate her because she gave you a child and I can't! That's mine! It's supposed to be me! I hate her!“
  420. She slams her fists into me and she screams at the top of her lungs.
  421. “I hate her!“
  422.  
  423. Lilly gasps for air, the sound a choking, strangling noise in her throat. She sucks in breath and exhales it out in an explosion of anger, her whole body shaking in fury.
  424.  
  425. “I hate Akira for abandoning me here! She left me! Because Father wanted her too! And I hate him! I hate him for holding his money over our heads and manipulating us with it! I've always hated him! The way he treats you, the way he looks down on us, the way he pities and patronizes me! I hate him!"
  426.  
  427. Her fingers twist into claws and dig into my shoulder blades, her nails carving down my back painfully, her screams muffled into my shoulder.
  428.  
  429. “And I...I hate my daughter! I hate her because no matter how hard I try, she won't stop crying when I hold her! I'm her Mother, not Hanako! Me! It should be me she loves!“
  430.  
  431. Lilly curls up into herself in my lap, shaking uncontrollably, the storm of her emotions whipping through her trembling body with the force of a hurricane.
  432.  
  433. “I'm so angry all the time! All I feel is hate! I hate so much and I drown myself because I don't want to hate the people I love anymore!“
  434.  
  435. Lilly pushes me down onto the bed and lies atop me, her face in my chest, her cries and wails muffled only slightly in my shirt.
  436.  
  437. “I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!”
  438.  
  439. I wrap Lilly in a hug, my numb arms encircling her. My whole body feels dull, fake, plastic. There's a painful ringing in my ears that's only partly because of Lilly's screams. I can hear the blood rushing through my head like a torrential downpour.
  440.  
  441. I can't take it anymore and I shrivel into myself as I join Lilly in her anguish. My shoulders shake and my throat catches as we cry together and I speak through my tears.
  442.  
  443. “I'm sorry, Lilly. I'm so sorry. I failed you as your husband. I should have known. I should have been there for you.“
  444.  
  445. My wife curls against me for some time, the two of us joined in our shared distress.
  446.  
  447. Her shaking begins to slowly subside, replaced by a lax exhaustion and looseness of limbs. I help her sit up against the headboard, the two of us arm in arm.
  448.  
  449. “Hisao, I want my music box,” she moans.
  450.  
  451. I quickly take the music box from it's place on the bed side table, wind it up, and hand it to Lilly. She holds the antique delicately in her hands, finding the tiny latch and opening it, letting the tinny music pour out and surround us.
  452.  
  453. She lays against me as we listen to the tune that means so much to the two of us, it's music reminding us of years past and the times we've made love together.
  454.  
  455. When it runs down, she silently hands the box to me and I wind it up once more. I place it back in her hands and we listen to it all over again.
  456.  
  457. We repeat this silent pantomime more times than I can count. We must lie in bed for hours because by the time the music box runs down for the final time, I can see the morning light just barely peek into the window of our bedroom.
  458.  
  459. “Hisao?”
  460.  
  461. “Yes, Lilly?”
  462.  
  463. By the time she speaks again, the morning light is full and strong through the lowered shades.
  464.  
  465. She shudders, shame written all over her face.
  466. “I think I have a problem.”
  467.  
  468. I hold Lilly close and painfully clear my throat, keeping my voice from breaking, putting as much strength and resolve into my words as I can.
  469. “No, Lilly. We have a problem. And we'll take care of it together.“
  470.  
  471. ----------------------------------------
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement