Just lucky to be alive

	Recently-employed night guard Jeremy Fitzgerald drove through traffic. Cars were bumper to bumper, wrecks occurred all around him. Some vehicles exploded while high-impact sexual violence would accidentally happen between men and women on the sidewalk. They would accidentally fall into each other and end up in precarious positions. Meanwhile, Jeremy fiddled with the radio and it sparked.

"Oh damn it not again" he sighed to himself, a wake of disasters occurring everywhere around him.

	Pulling up to the driveway, the car's brakes broke near the end and continued into the side of the building. Upon exiting the vehicle he fell and broke his leg. Hobbling over and through the building, the ceiling above a peculiar box behind the prize counter collapsed. He barely made it to his seat before he heard a crash and an explosion. He merely shrugged and sighed, sitting back in his chair.

	The phone rang, though the message didn't even get to play a sentence. Jeremy's hand twitched and the phone was barely dragged over the edge of the table, shattering into pieces. Jeremy planted his face into his hands.

"Whyyyyyy?" He moaned pitifully.

	He looked around the desk, cautiously picking up the tablet. He began toying around with it, watching activities through the cameras. He noticed that one of the mascots began moving. He was never informed of the robots' routines, so he was a little worried. He switched cameras to the prize counter to find the box that still had ceiling rubble over it was rumbling viciously. Maybe it was some sort of wild animal.

	A blue rabbit robot was in the office for some inexplicable reason. It slid over to the guardsman from the side, only to continue sliding into the wall and stumbling out of the office. Soon enough the purple rabbit that lacked a face tried to reach for him, only to slip and grope the guard's testicles. Not long after that, the hand stopped functioning and the arm fell off. The robot, seemingly out of shame, ran right out of the room. Jeremy attempted to yank the robotic limb off of his third leg but it had torn into his pants.

"Fuck, WHY?! I just paid for these!"

	A chicken with rosy cheeks and hot pink shorts strode in, leaped at the guard but their jump was a little short. Their beak and eyes fell out, they spent their time feeling around the room for them but to no avail. Jeremy didn't really pay it much mind.

"Hello!"

	A child-designed robot holding a balloon began laughing. Jeremy's flashlight, along with the office light, exploded. The sound of rapid metal-on-tile footsteps could be heard. Jeremy fell face-first from all the glass shards raining on him.

"Jesus Christ STOP shitting on me with this luck god damn!"

	Something flew over him and into the wall, it didn't seem to try getting back up. Jeremy didn't care, his luck was always terrible. The sound of metal-on-metal crawled through the vents, and whirring climbs on the ceiling as an odd radio signal began playing. A few pieces of metal hit the tiles, and soon a crash could be heard. Jeremy refused to budge.

---6am---
	Jeremy looked at his barely-functioning watch. He cautiously peeked from under his desk as daylight was pouring in. In front of the desk there was a mesh of parts with a feminine white fox's head that had fallen on top of the struggling beak-less chicken. Several screws were scattered away from the crash site, some near the blue rabbit one. Jeremy looked behind him to notice a red fox pirate with their jaw unhinged, stuck in the wall by their teeth. That one was also struggling, still attempting to wedge their head out without it snapping.

	Jeremy picked up the tablet, looking through the cameras once more. That box in the prize room was still shaking like crazy. Two bear robots kept running into each other repeatedly. Jeremy wiped the sweat off his brow, he put the tablet back on the table. Said tablet's screen cracked, to which Jeremy rolled his eyes as he hobbled away, using the purple rabbit's arm as a crutch. He exited the building.

Another chicken was on top of his car, both of which were aflame. The car's wheels were scattered, and the damage seemingly irreparable.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..."
----
S:5
P:6
E:5
C:6
I:6
A:6
L: 1

Trait: Jinxed