The Rut

Failure is a part of life. Whether it's something we could've prevented or not is ultimately irrelevant, but it's still just another part of being human.

Many times, people fall down. Many times, they get back up. Some times are harder than others.

When you're the reason something didn't go so well, it hurts. It can be embarrassing; humiliating; demoralizing. So, you dust yourself off and you try again. But then you fall so hard it seems like you'll never get back up. Years will go by where you think that's it; that it's not going to get better; that things will never be the same, and eventually you start to believe it. This is where it gets dangerous.

Bad things are gonna happen to you, yeah; that's just how things are. Most of the time, it's just little inconveniences that carry no real weight; maybe you drop a glass, smudge a drawing, get the timing wrong on when a movie starts; that's nothing. It might make your face go red, sure, but that's it. Other times, it can be trying. You fail a test. You don't get that job. They just want to be friends. That'll take a toll on your self-esteem, but it's something you can come back from most of the time.

So, what happens when you can't come back from it?

Maybe you keep failing those tests. Maybe you just can't nail those interviews. Maybe you can't find anyone to spend your life with. When things just keep going wrong again and again, it's no longer dirt to shake off; it's gum on the shoe. The failures, constant and unrelenting, frustrate you. Your patience will start to wear; your smile will begin to fade; your confidence will turn to doubt. And you'll start hurting.

Fear. Confusion. "Why does this keep happening?"

Problems can be solved, but what if the answer isn't so clear at first? You'll feel a pain, and slowly, depression.

Depression is not as painful as what people might think. It's unhealthy if it becomes constant, but it in itself is not a painful feeling. Your perception will be warped, and you become numb.

Worse than numb, you become unhappy.

You will inhibit your ability to feel joy; to feel good. And that's what makes it dangerous.