Puuchu The Lich: Chronicler's apprentice chapter 2

>You begin by closing your remaining eye imagining where you desired to be, or in your case ordered to be.
>Twilight's tree house. You imagined all possible angles of the Library from both inside and out.
>Fortunately the old Lich has shown you Ponyville on multiple occasions in visions and visitations while nopony was awake.

>You feel the wind picking up.
>Wait.
>You feel the wind? But your inside? So you opened your eye to investigate this oddity.
> Only to see yourself falling from 100 meters above and towards Twilight's House.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH!"
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"OH SHI- OH SHI- OH SHI-"

> A blur of cyan tackles you
> taking the lower half of your body with it.
> Leaving your flailing torso plummeting towards the Library still.

"BLARGLEJARGLBLAUGH!"

> In an epiphany you remember that you can still teleport.
> So you think of the safest place to materialize without alarming the house's inhabitants.
> The bathroom.

> And you successfully do so.

> Only to encroach upon a certain dragon sitting on the toilet with a magazine and a box of tissues at his side.
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> You are Spike the dragon.

> You were having some "alone time" finally since that anonymous guy was talking to Twi about letting his apprentice aid her for a week to learn more about different forms of magic and Equestria's history. Knowing those two they would be occupied for a good while you decided to occupy yourself as well.

>untill half a corpse materializes in the bathroom with you, and you and the corpse are looking eye to ...well eye.

> You just found the newest and most effective image to allow you to sheath your sword when needed.

>You both scream
"AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH"
> In unison

> Anon:"It appears my student has finally decided to join us."

> You are Rainbow Dash
> and in your hooves is half a person.
> An the half you weren't able to secure has literally vanished before your eyes'
> You decide the best course of action is to freak the buck out.
Initiating sequence in
> 3.
> 2.
> 1.

"AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

> In your bout of panic you drop the portion you did possess.
> This further enhances your current state of panic.
> you hurriedly swoop down to retrieve the half you do have so that the poor individual can at least have a proper funeral.
> You manage to grab your prize, oonly to crash through Twilight's window.
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> You are Puuchu the Lich apprentice

>AND THAT MOTHERBUCKING DRAGON JUST PISSED ON YOU!

> Bad enough you just lost half your body to whom you can only assume is the one called Rainbow Dash.

> But to further matters you popped in on an adolescent pleasuring himself.
> Now you have to explain the bird and the bees by obligation.
> But only if he manages to live past the next few minutes.

> You are Twilight Sparkle

> And the ensuing chaos would make Discord proud.
> Rainbow Dash has just plunged through your window entangled in a pair of ... legs?
> Spike is running out of the bathroom with his ... genitalia flapping
> While Being chased by a Levitating decaying torso hurling What you can only describe as blades of darkness at poor Spike.

> anon:"Seems he finally mastered the Doom Blade after all this time." He chuckles to himself. "Who would of thought it would take an adolescent dragon urinating on him to bring out this level of devolopement."

"That's Your Apprentice?"

> Puuchu:" Hey those are my legs. I need them to kick his ass."
> Puuchu says as another doom bolt misses Spike's sausage link by inches.
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> You are Puuchu the Lich apprentice.
> And it took a doom blade to your own chest to calm you down.
> Afterwards you promptly reassemble yourself and apologize for the damage you've caused, and began thanking the cyan Pegasus as she faints.

"What are we gonna do with her?"
>you ask pointing towards Rainbow Dash

>Anon:" I will take her to her home. for now, Follow Miss Sparkle's instructions. When she is done with you for the day you are to teleport back to your room. Failing that, you will be forced to stay outside until you can otherwise materialize yourself properly without losing any extremities. And no you may not stay in anyp0ny's Home."

>Twilight:"Isn't that a bit harsh?"

>Anon:" Despite his desire to cling to the aspects of his previous life, He does not need any of the amenities a home may provide such as shelter and food. If he truly wishes for those things he will work to learn the necessary magic. After all, Necessity is the best teacher."

>"But I thought your name was Anon not Necessity?"
> everyone looks over to the window to see a Pink P0ny standing on stilts.

> A wild Pinkamena Diane Pie appears.
> Puuchu used cake
> Pinkamena captured
> Give Caught Pinkamena a nickname?
> Pinkie Pie
> Pinkie Pie has an item attached
> AN INVITATION

>Pinkie:"SOYOUARETOTALLYGONNABETHERERIGHTASMYNEWBESTFRIENDANDBESTFRIENDSGOTOPARTIESTHATTHIERBESTFRIENDSTHROWFORTHEIRBESTFRIENDSBECAUSETHISISSOMEFRIENDSEPTIONSHITANDIFYOUARESTILLREADINGTHISYOUJUSTLOSTTHEGAMEBECAUSETHATISWHATBESTFRIENDSDOAND-"

"I wouldn't miss such an awesome event for the world my new best friend."

> Pinkie:"SQUEEE!"
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> Anon:"I will take my leave then. Do not hesitate to use him as you see fit Twilight."

> Pinkie:"Ooh, here Anon, I have an invatatio-"
> He just teleported the fuck out of there.

"Don't worry Pinkie Deary, he is a very busy man and he probably wants to go but can't. Don't you have other invitations you need to give out?"

> Pinkie:"Oh Puuchu you're so right, I better get to it. Gummy still hasn't recieved his yet!"

"So Miss Sparkle, what did you have in mind for today?"
> she blushes again at the title

>twilight:"Just call me twilight. Well I was wanting to alphabetize the books so I could know where they were all at for when I would organize them by category. But since you are new here how about I ask you some questions?"

"OKay then, fire away."

>Twilight:"Um. What?"

"Go ahead and shoot."

>Twilight:"I dont want to hurt you Puuchu."
> a look of worry and horror over her face.

"Come at me... Bro?"
"Just ask me questions."

>Twilight:" So how long have you been studying magic under Anon?"

"Just over a month."

>Twilight:" Ohhkay. How long have you been studying magic in general then?"

"Just over a month."

> Twilight's face is quite visibly flustered.
>Tiwilight:" How long have you had ANYTHING to do with magic?"

"Just."
"Over."
"A."
"Month."

>twilight:" So you are telling me you learned to somewhat teleport, use attack spells, and heal wounds as extensive as dismemberment, only from a month of training."

"Yeah I guess"
Oh she is upset about something. Just be Nonchalant and you wont piss her off. maybe.

> Twilight:"You must be a really good student." she says with a pained and depreesed face.

"Oh nonono. He is the type of teacher that would kick me off the Canterlot cliff again and again in order to teach me to levitate."

>In another dimension, Anon the Lich is busy slaughtering an entire mage guild when suddenly
>Anon:"Yes. that can be his next lesson."

> Twilight:" Oh im certain you're just imagining things.

"He is probably trying to off me in the process. His last lesson was etherial movement."

> twilight:" I hardly see how that is harmfu-"

"He locked me in a magic proof room with 8 Ghouls intent on sodomizing me."

>Twilight:" I'm sure that he was just motivating you."

Anon the lich is locked in a death match with the Arch Magus when in the dead language he laughs "Twilight, if only you were not a pony. And alive."

>Twilight:" ok next question. Why do you look different from Anon?"

"I don't know if I should be offended. If you mean why I'm not decomposed and a skeleton, it's because I haven't come to grips with my death yet and keep regenerating my body. For all intents and purposes I am still alive, I just can't be truly killed anywhere as easily as before. There's a process now."

>"I bet you died a virgin." spike mutters vehemently as he was eating his bowl of cereal
> then his beloved cereal and spoon disappeared in a flash. Twilight looks over at spike.

> twilight:"What was that?"

>spike:"I dont know. My Gor-" suddenly another flash

"Hey twilight this is some of the best cereal I've had in a while what is it called?"

>twilight:"Oh that is Gorilla munch. I bought it recently because spike kept asking for it. Turns out it is healthy and nutritious, So I don't mind buying him some."

> Spike is staring daggers at you. If looks could kill then spike would be deceased, because evil eyes backfire when used on the dead.

> twilight:" So, from what Anon has told me about liches, how exactly did you perform the ritual?"

>you begin laughing.
>you begin laughing hard.
>you begin laughing so hard your sides fall off.
>literally

"Oh Twi. If this is an attempt to learn how to become a lich, then you are barking up the wrong tree."

>Twilight:"I don't know what your talking about, but it seems you wont tell me. Neither would Anon."

"Oh i'll tell you alright."

> Twilight's face glows with delight "Oh that's grea-"

"A spiteful doctor who was my superior ripped out my soul with an industrial Factory Mechanized arm and used it to power an electronic music device when I unintentionally showed him up during an important inspection."

> Twilight's body is frozen rigid in that smile she was holding when you interupted her.
> Wild twilight has fainted
> Puuchu used revive. It's a suppository.

>twilight:"Why does my Cutiemark hurt?"

"we've probably been sitting around for too long. Wanna take a walk?"

>Spike finished making himself another bowl of that sacred jimmy restoring Gorilla munch when it explodes in his face.

"spike you are too much of a mess to come along, just stay here and finish organizing."
so speaketh Twilight in a disapproving manner.

jimmies: Captain! Scout reports indicate spike might be out for our lucky charms!

"Don't worry boys as long as we are on the S.S. Don T. Givudahm we will be untouchable."

> twilight:"Who are you talking to?"

"My jimmies."

(twilight: must be a lich thing.)


















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