Living the Good Life: Chapter 1

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>”God I need a better job,” you say to yourself as you tuck yourself in to a bed that is much too small for you.
>You are Anonymous, and your life sucks. Here you are, living in a small, rundown apartment in the middle of a large city.
>The rent for your apartment is so high you’re forced to take 60-70 hour weeks working at a nearby factory.
>Even then you barely manage to scrape by; you just finished off your third bowl of ramen today and are turning in for the night. You should have gone to college, oh wait you did!
>You curse as you toss and turn on your lumpy mattress. Just where did you go wrong? Well there’s a small list of reasons.
>You thought you did everything right. You graduated from high school ranking pretty close to the rest of those Advanced Placement kids.
>You got in to the college your parents said would help shape you for your career and you graduated from said college a year early.
>Too bad no one told you the world has no need for men of your profession. Become a journalist your parents said, you’ll be hired on the spot they said.
>They didn’t tell you that your city’s journalists are a dime a dozen so now here you are; wasting your life away working at some dilapidated factory.
>You sigh as you turn over, you’ve been at this job of yours for about a year now and it’s starting to wear you down.
>This terrible, broken bed didn’t help things along neither did the crushing boredom you felt in between work and sleep.
>Perhaps you’d buy a desktop, maybe even a t.v. but a computer over precious food didn’t sit too well with you. Eating is a higher priority than entertainment, regardless when would you use it?
>If you aren’t working, you’re sleeping. Your social life is pretty much down the drain at this point so even if you did get a desktop it’s not like you’d have anyone to talk to.
>And there’s no way in hell you’re socializing with your fellow employees, you’re pretty sure a good half of them deal in some sort of illegal activity on the side, and that doesn’t sit too well with you.
>The other half like to be incompetent fucktards that wouldn’t know how to operate a forklift if their lives depended on it.
>On more than one occasion you’ve had to pick up where another worker was slacking, too bad you didn’t bring in any extra cash as a result.
>Maybe you could ask your parents for a hand-out? Oh that’s right they disowned you for your bitchy, successful, and talented sister.
>Regardless you aren’t one to ask for favors, you’d rather get things done yourself and you’d be damned if you’d ask for help unless you really needed it.
>But one thing you’d love to get help with is the crushing boredom you’re always forced to endure. With only having your job and sleep to keep you busy the time in between is spent doing nothing more than eating.
>You don’t even have a hobby; even if you did it’d probably be counting the cracks in your ceiling or how many seconds have gone by since you’ve last gone to work.
>Seriously, if you didn’t find something soon you were liable to burn something, at least that’d keep you entertained for a few minutes at best.
>There were times where you’d feel your sanity start to slip just a little bit each day. Your thoughts are interrupted by a dreaded sound.
>You hear your bed creak from under you before you feel yourself drop suddenly…well at least your bed isn’t at an awkward angle anymore. Then there’s a knock on your door. Wonder who that could be?
>”Anonymous get your pasty ass out here!” comes the beautiful voice of the fat Italian prick of a landlord. You sigh, last time you kept the guy waiting he nearly kicked through your door.
>As you reluctantly get out of bed you hear him start to pound on your door rather than knock, yeah there’s step two, step three is kicking...
>”Hold on I’m coming,” you shout as you make your way to your door. You open it to find him grinding his teeth while giving you an angry glare.
>”Took your lazy ass long enough,” says your landlord, that’s when he hands you a sheet of paper. It’s an eviction notice, great that’s exactly what you needed right now.
>”Ya got a week kid; city’s shutting this place down. Something about-“you cut him off before he can finish, “The roach and rat problem? Yeah I figured.”
>Almost as if on cue a rat the size of your foot comes scurrying by you, it chitters incessantly as it makes its way in to a nearby hole in the wall.
>Then you hear it start to screech, it runs out of the hole only to have a roach about the rat’s size come out, grab it, and slowly drag it back in to its hole. Jesus Christ that roach is huge!
>You and your landlord stand in shocked silence for all of a few seconds before you promptly begin to crumple up your eviction notice. Yeah fuck this place, that little scene had NOPE written all over it.
>”Hey!” your landlord doesn’t seem too pleased by your reaction, “What are you gonna do about it you fat fuck?” you ask. You see your landlord’s face turn beet red. This guy really needs to work on his anger. It’s why you hate him. Didn’t help that you didn’t care, after all, you were being kicked out.
>You really hated this prick, he’d come knocking at all hours of the night, waking you up, just to bitch you out about late rent or some other kind of bullshit.
>”I’ll have you know-“ he says before you interrupt him, “That you were top of your class during basic and that you’re the best sniper in the Navy Seals with over three hundred confirmed kills?” you ask as you give your landlord the best deadpan look you could. He stammers a bit before growling.
>Poor guy is seething with rage, he grinds his teeth; you smirk. Why not go all in with him? “Yeah that’s a load of bullshit. Even if it were true you probably ate em,” You say with a smile.
>That was too much for your landlord to handle, his whole body begins to shake, his double chin and sagging man cans start to shake in turn.
>The guy really needs to stop wearing sweaty stained wife beaters this is too much, you can barely contain your laughter. Your laughter is cut off when your landlord kicks you. There goes his self-control.
>Your landlord decides to kick you right in your genitals. You grab your now pained genitals and double over from the pain. That’s when your landlord lands a clean hook along your jaw.
>His hook was more than enough to make you smack your head against your door frame. From there your landlord pushed your stunned self on to your back…then he just kept hitting you and hitting you.
>When he feels that he’s done enough, he stands over you before promptly spitting on you. “Ya got seven days Jackass,” says your landlord as he makes his way out of your apartment.
>God damn it why did he have to kick you below the waist, you could have taken him but no he just had to hit you there. You lie there for half an hour in recovery.
>That had to have been one of the most embarrassing moments of your life or at least a close second. Getting your ass kicked back in high school then getting a swirly would probably remain your number one.
>You shake your head of the terrible memories; high school wasn’t the most fun time for you. You lie on your back for the next few minutes in a hopeless attempt to nurse your wounds.
>You had nothing for the swelling, nor did you have anything for the pain, that means you’re going to have to go out and go to the pharmacy. Great you get to show everyone how fucked up you look…
>You sigh out of exasperation before shakily getting to your feet, as you try to gather your bearings your field of vision starts to spin. You prop yourself against the wall in order to steady yourself.
>That’s when you start feeling around your face, your jaw was starting to swell, as was your nose, same goes for your left eye, and the sensation in your lower half made you want to vomit, but at least nothing was broken…oh you’ll get him back for this, but for right now, getting some first aid is top priority.
>You stumble out of your apartment room, grabbing your hoodie on the way, late autumn had a tendency to make the air extra chilly at night and last thing you needed to do was catch a cold.
>Soon enough you stumble down the concrete stairs and out in to the streets, the piercing wail of police sirens are there to greet you as a squad car speeds by.
>Probably another robbery or a homicide, your city isn’t exactly the safest at night, but you can’t seem to find any reason to worry it’s not as if anyone’s ever robbed you before.
>You stumble along, not wanting to look around; after all it’s not as if anything has changed. The various apartment buildings you’re walking by have been foreclosed on.
>Their dilapidated conditions made them unfit to live in. You watch as a board being used to block a window falls from the second floor of a nearby building. You can see a faint glow from within.
>Probably a group of hobos or something along those lines, they have a tendency to take to these seemingly abandoned buildings…if you don’t find a new home asap you’ll be just like them.
>Your sorry ass didn’t even have a clunker of a car to travel around in. You had to take a bus to get to and from your job.
>At least you had street lights to illuminate your trash littered path. But you can’t even take solace in their ever flickering glow all they do is reveal just how bad you have it.
>To say your living area was a dump wouldn’t do it proper justice. You spend your walk to the pharmacy in relative silence.
>When you step through the threshold in to the pharmacy’s interior you breathe a sigh of relief. That’s when you’re reminded as to why you came here in the first place.
>When you open your mouth to sigh your jaw erupts in pain, causing you to yelp. That catches the attention of the blonde bimbo of a cashier. “Aisle twelve sir,” says the cashier as she looks over your broken form in disgust. Well fuck her too, she’s a two out of ten at best, you wouldn’t fuck that anyway.
>You nod before making your way there, yup first aid aisle, just what you need. After getting the ointments and wraps you need you pay the cashier and make your way back out.
>Looks like you won’t be eating next week, no wait yes you will, you don’t have to pay rent anymore. You scoff as you walk your happy self back to your crummy rundown apartment.
>Along the way you stop to see some random thug running in your direction. You see he has a hat in his hands.
>Then you see the flash of coins as they fall from the hat, two hobos are chasing this thug down as he tries to make his escape. You shake your head in disappointment.
>You continue walking forward seemingly oblivious to the event taking place right before your eyes, when the thug gets ready to pass you; you extend your leg.
>The thug was too busy looking over his shoulder to see your outstretched leg. He trips over your leg and ends up doing a face plant on the filthy cracked sidewalk the two of you were walking upon.
>He flips himself on to his back, but before he can react you bring your foot down on his left kneecap with all your might. You hear a satisfying snap as your foot makes contact.
>The thug starts screaming in pain while grasping his now injured leg. You don’t pay the thug a second glance as you go back to making your way back to your apartment.
>The two hobos run past you, “God bless you sir,” says one of the two as they make their way over to the guy you incapacitated.
>They decide to clean up your mess by beating the living hell out of him. You decide to stay and watch the show; after a good beating the two hobos promptly collect their money and go about their business, but not before trying to give you some money for your service.
>You weren’t about to refuse this little reward you needed any bit of money you could get, security deposits on apartment rooms aren’t exactly cheap. They thank you before departing.
>Ah, justice being served without the police being involved, it brings a metaphorical tear to your eye. Speaking of justice, there’s a certain fat Italian you still need to pay a visit to after you take care of yourself.
>With thoughts of revenge plaguing your thoughts you make your way back home. As you pass by an alleyway a random round of applause stops you in your tracks. You freeze before looking down the alleyway.
>You strain your eyes in hopes of seeing just who’s applauding you, that’s when you hear a set of footsteps. “Bravo child, bravo,” comes a voice, you felt a shiver run down your spine…something about this guy’s voice seems…off.
>From the shadows comes a rather tall, slender looking man, the only features other than his body type you could make out was the long grey beard that seemed to protrude from his chin.
>Everything else was covered in a brown trench coat, gloves, boots, fedora, and sunglasses. As he gets closer to you his smile widens, that’s when you notice the single tooth protruding from his gums.
>You grimace as his smile widens. When he’s a few feet away from you he stops clapping. “Who the hell are you?” you ask as you look over this strange looking individual.
>”Listen buddy…I don’t wanna see what’s under your trench coat. I don’t need to get an eyeful of dick tonight,” that’s when the stranger starts laughing as if what you said is the funniest thing ever told.
>Seriously this guy is holding his sides…and that ominous laughter is starting to give you the creeps, he stops to wipe a metaphorical tear from his face.
>“Oh no child you have me all wrong, I’m not here for anything like that. I just wanted to say that little spectacle was quite a sight to behold,” says the mysterious stranger as he looks you over.
>You can’t tell if he’s scrutinizing you or what, those sunglasses make it hard to tell, it strikes you as odd that anyone would wear sunglasses in the middle of the night.
>This guy seems a little…off, but you make no mention of it, you’ve learned from past experiences that weird individuals have a rather short fuse.
>”Okay…why do you say that?” you ask out of curiosity, “Because child, I love it when I see things like this. I’ve spent many nights here viewing bits and pieces of your little society here and I must say I love what I see.” Says the stranger as he gives you a toothy grin, you roll your good eye.
>”You’re pretty messed up,” you say in response as you promptly turn away from him and walk off in the direction of your apartment. The sound of footsteps traveling behind you causes you to stop.
>You sigh, “Listen buddy, I don’t need any stalkers following me home so if you’d kindly fuck off that’d be nice,” you say out of annoyance as you turn around to find that same stranger from earlier.
>He’s still giving you that same goofy smile, except this time he’s got popcorn in his gloved hands…where the hell did he get popcorn from?
>He probably had it the whole time; perhaps you’re just delusional from the blows to the head you took an hour ago. Yeah that may just be it.
>”No child I will not kindly ‘fuck off’ as you so elegantly put it, you’re the most interesting thing I found all night, I cannot let you out of my sight who knows what else you might do!” says the stranger as he pops a piece of popcorn in to his maw. Yeah that’s not creepy in any way at all. Neither is that smile.
>You sigh again before promptly turning around and walking off, the guy’s going to be disappointed; you didn’t plan doing up anyone else other than going home and go home you did.
>You don’t argue with the coated guy following you. If you tried to run he’d probably catch up. If you tried to beat him he probably had a gun somewhere in that coat of his.
>That’s when you feel a twinge of fear. Some random asshole is following you around waiting for you to do something, and you have no idea if he’s just going to put a bullet in you when you’re alone.
>Almost as if he were reading your thoughts the stranger says, “Oh don’t worry I’m only here to watch you work your magic, I don’t plan on involving myself in any way. Where would the fun be if I did?” he asks as he pops another piece of popcorn in to his mouth.
>You shrug your shoulders without turning around to face him, oh well, whatever floats this crazy guy’s boat. Besides, you really have no choice in the matter it’s not like you have a phone to call the police.
>When you make your way back to your apartment door your traveling companion groans, “Oh come on, you could have done something to those hobos back there at least. Or those cats they were just begging to have something done to them,” this guy sounds like a child whining for not getting his way.
>”You’ll see that I’m just full of disappointments,” you say with a small chuckle, god you need to stop talking that hurts.
>”I’m sure your parents are well aware of that little tidbit,” says the stranger, barely above a whisper. “What was that?” you ask out of curiosity, “Oh nothing you need to concern yourself with child,” answers the stranger. You shrug before dismissing it. As you enter your floor you sigh with relief
>Lucky for your landlord he doesn’t greet you out in the hall to gloat about kicking your ass. That would have been a great way to start your recovery period.
>You open your unlocked door and step inside your apartment. This stranger follows you right inside, this guy needs to learn some manners; your patience is wearing pretty thin.
>He makes himself right at home, practically leaping on to your ratty old couch. He bounces once before reclining. “Not bad,” says the stranger as he puts his hands behind his head.
>You shake your head in annoyance, “Just don’t touch anything,” you say as you make your way in to your bathroom. As soon as you shut your door your uninvited guest does just the opposite.
>In fact he leaps right off of your couch, with a checklist in hand. He starts looking around at your private things checking things off as he goes along.
>”Photos in frames that are too small, check. Lopsided tables, check, broken mirror check, broken bed check, furniture in random spots of the apartment check, no consistency…let’s see mahogany dresser with an oak nightstand…hmm…this is elementary level at best but I can work with it,” says the stranger with a grin.
>Meanwhile you’re busy using your newly obtained first aid items; you curse as you pour rubbing alcohol on the cuts you’ve managed to get. “God that stings like hell,” you say to yourself.
>You go through a small checklist of your own, disinfecting and dressing your sores as you do so.
When you finally think you’ve done an okay job with yourself you step out of the bathroom to find your guest looking at a family photo.
>”You enjoying yourself over there?” you ask with malice as you stare daggers at your guest’s back. He picks up on your tone and hurriedly sets your photo back down on your shelf.
>”Dreadfully sorry, curiosity and all that,” says the stranger as he laughs sheepishly, “Though I must say, I love what you’ve done with the place. However I would make a few changes,” he says as he strokes his beard.
>”Yes, that wall should have a red and green checkered pattern while that wall over there needs brown splatters all over it. Oh and only half of the lights should stay the way they are, the other half should have red, pink, and orange lights,” you chuckle, this causes him to finally drop his smile.
>”You’re just angry because you have no taste for the finer things,” says your guest as he shoots you a cocky grin, “No, I just think you need to lay off the LSD,” you retort.
>He ignores your comment before asking you another series of odd questions, “Child, I must ask, where are your rubber tables, where is the singing plastic bass, what about fluffy blue bean bag chairs?”
>As he asks you this he walks over to you and shakes your shoulders as if he’s trying to help you come to your senses, as if your home is something out of the ordinary for him.
>The hell is this guy’s problem, he’s talking nonsense, yeah he’s gotta be on something, “Listen…buddy, do you need me to call a doctor for you or something? I’m sure my landlord has a phone.” you say out of nervousness.
>The stranger gasps as if you’ve just insulted him, “How dare you I am in a clear state of mind thank you very much!” and with that he harrumphs before turning his back to you, crossing his arms as he does so.
>This guy has got to be the weirdest person you’ve ever met; when it comes to crazy this guy takes the cake. Yeah you’re going to get the landlord to call someone about this guy…after you beat your landlord black and blue of course you haven’t forgotten what he’s done.
>”Listen, I’m gonna go get my landlord…and then we’re gonna get you some help okay buddy?” you ask as you slowly make your way towards your door without breaking eye contact.
>When you mention seeing your landlord that smile of his returns, “Oh I must come along for this, it should be quite the show,” says the stranger as he goes over to your couch to grab his popcorn.
>”Yeah have fun, anyway you do realize I’m gonna have the cops haul you away or I’m gonna have EMT put you in a strait jacket right?” you ask as you make your way back out in to the hallway. You find there is no need to try to bullshit this guy.
>”Oh I’m sure you will, after this little performance of course,” your guest says as he follows you. “You’re implying something big is going to go down,” you say as you make your way to your landlord’s door.
>Mother of mercy you can hear your landlord blaring his terrible Italian music; you show obvious signs of disgust before pounding on his door.
>You hear the music come to a sudden stop, “Who the fuck is that?” comes a voice from within, “It’s Anonymous open up.” You respond.
>You hear that fat piece of shit laugh as he makes his way to his door, you hear him unlock his door, when he opens the door you feel a little disappointed, he left the chain up. Probably scared of you.
>”Heh, you back for round two dumb ass?” asks your landlord as he gives you a shit eating grin, you sigh. “I need to use your phone, some random guy keeps bugging me and he won’t go away. I’m gonna call the cops,” you say as you point to your ‘new friend,’
>Your landlord examines him from the safety of his partially open door, the stranger waves, “Hi,” says the stranger,  “Fuck off,” your landlord says in respnonse, and with that your landlord tries to shut his door.
>You put your foot in the door before he can shut it, “I’ll ask again, may I use your phone?” this time you’re sure to sound threatening.
>From being told you’re going to be homeless, to getting your ass kicked, to having to meet this random fuck in the streets, you really aren’t having a good night.
>You will break down this asshole’s door if he doesn’t let you in and he knows it. “Anonymous fuck off, if you don’t leave I’m gonna call the cops on YOUR sorry ass,” says your landlord.
>”That’s fine, I’ll tell them you assaulted me you fat waste of space,” you say with a smirk, “Who’re they gonna believe Anonymous, the guy that owns a building or some soon to be homeless fuck?” asks your landlord.
>”Hey retard you’re gonna be homeless too,” you say, not moving an inch. “Yeah but unlike you I’ve got a place to move to. I got this notice a month in advance I had plenty of time,” says your landlord with a laugh.
>Oh that dirty motherfucker, “You knew for a fucking month and you didn’t tell me?!” you shout, yeah you’re mad.
>You pull your foot out of the doorway and your landlord promptly slams the door shut, that’s when you ram your shoulder in to his door. This guy’s gonna get retribution tonight.
>You keep ramming your shoulder in to the door, then you kick it, you alternate between the two for a few minutes, shouting obscenities as you do so. You don’t notice the ever widening grin of your guest.
>All the while the Italian ball of fat starts blaring his music again, he turns up the volume in order to drown you out. That just adds fuel to the fire for you and you keep going.
>When it seems like you’re about to give up your guest steps in, “Child, child please, save your energy,” with that he gives you a smile. You back away from the door, looking to him in confusion.
>“Besides,” says the stranger as he puts his hand on the knob, he twists it and the door…opens? “Why are you trying to break down an unlocked door?” asks the stranger.
>You look from him, to the door, then back to him again. There’s…there’s something about this guy…something you don’t like. But he’s just given you an opportunity to unleash your anger.
>You’ll just chalk it up to your landlord being a cocky little prick; you’d rather not think this stranger you’re with is capable of magic or something. That’d just be crazy.
>You kick open the door all the way to see your landlord looking at you like a deer caught in the headlights. You smile, “So…buddy, pal, can I use your phone?” you ask before growling.
>He gets off of his couch before going in to his room; he doesn’t say a single word until he walks in to his room. “I don’t know how the fuck you got in here but you’ve got until the count of five before I make you leave,”
>”Oooh I’m so scared,” you say as you make your way in to his apartment room, you spot a corded phone on the counter, you waste no time in walking over and picking it up. You dial 911 and wait.
>There you go after you make your phone call you’re gonna beat that tub of-
>You don’t get to finish that thought considering your landlord has stepped out of his room with a shotgun in tow.
>He aims it at you and you feel you’ll void your bowels out of fear. “You have until the count of five Anonymous, one,” your landlord cocks his shotgun, “Two,” He sets his sights on you.
>Oh god what do you do what do you do, do you make a run for it or do you try to get to him before he pulls the trigger, what if he shoots you in the back when you make a break for it?
>”Three,” says your landlord, before he can count any further the stranger comes out of nowhere and tears the shotgun out of your landlord’s grasp without so much  as a struggle.
>You were right to peg this guy as a strange one, ripping a shotgun out of someone’s hands without it discharging is quite a feat.
>”Tsk tsk tsk, you disappoint me, Anonymous, if you would please?” asks the stranger as he looks to you with a smile.
>Maybe this guy isn’t so bad after all; you smile before cracking your knuckles. Now it’s your landlord’s turn to feel fear, he just pulled a shotgun on you, you’ve gotta one up him somehow.
>It only takes a minute for you to overpower your landlord, he’s already on the ground and you’re pounding his face in.
>He thought he could get in a cheap shot on your blind side, but you proved him wrong and he paid for it. Though you don’t seem to notice the amount of damage you’re doing to the guy.
>Using the untapped rage you’ve got building inside of you, you keep going. You keep hitting your landlord until his face is unrecognizable; you keep hitting him when he stops moving…all the while your new friend is stand there munching on some popcorn, his sinister smile ever present.
>You don’t stop; you keep going and going…for five minutes you pound your fists in to his pudgy face. Until you end it with one strong punch to the nose.
>When you finally get back to your feet your panting like a dog. Once your adrenaline finally wears down you survey the damage you’ve done.
>He’s still breathing, but barely, and it’d be a lie if you didn’t feel a deep sense of satisfaction for what you’ve done. You give your landlord one last kick to the ribcage before turning to face your friend.
>Like he did when he first met you, he applauds you, “Bravo Anonymous, such rage, such fury, the little ball of fat didn’t stand a chance!” says the stranger with a laugh of utter joy.
>”You were like an untrained animal that was…quite the chaotic show, there’s hope for you yet!” that came as a bit of a surprise, before you could say anything your landlord groans but doesn’t stir.
>"And just what is that supposed to mean," you ask as you back away from this stranger. He walks towards you causing you to back up further.
>That is, until you hit a wall, the stranger closes the distance and puts his hands on your shoulders. When he looks in to your eyes his sunglasses do nothing to hold back the burning passion that lies behind their lenses.
>"Think about it for a moment Anonymous, one minute you're complaining about not having a single thing to do, next you're getting your ass stomped by this fatty.
>Then on your way back from walking to a pharmacy you randomly break a man's leg, and now look at you. You've just broken in to your landlord's house and beat him!"
>His smile widens as he continues his little rant, "You're supposed to be this calm, docile, individual but let's face it, that's not you at all. You can't stand this life of mediocrity, you never could. It's been eating away at you so you lash out at others. Then you use petty excuses just to have a reason to do so. Whether it's out of revenge, or if it’s because they're thieves you're really doing this simply because you're bored with your life, am I right?" while the stranger rants his grip on your shoulders strengthens causing you to wince in pain.
>You can see the fear and confusion your eyes show from the reflection of this guy's sunglasses, "How, how do you know all of this?" you ask, your voice trembling as you do so.
>"Because my dear Anonymous when I find something of interest I learn everything there is to know about it. I know everything child, about your prim and proper suburban life, about how your parents spoiled your little sister, about how you had to learn to fend for yourself in high school, and about your parents spinning you a tale of lies in order to get you away from them, there is nothing about you I don't already know, I've been watching you for a while and I must say I love this 'downward' spiral your life is heading in, there is so much potential for you to do more," this guy's talking crazy, you struggle to get out of his death grip and finally he lets you go.
>You look from him, to the door. You make a mad dash for the door and you make it back out in to the hallway, as you make your way to your door you turn around to find that the stranger isn't pursuing you.
>Fuck yeah you got away, you leap in to your apartment before promptly slamming and locking the door, you decide that you'll wait here until that guy leaves
>Then you'll call the police to report a suspicious looking person in the area, maybe they'll listen to you for once in your life.
>An ominous uproar of laughter causes your blood to run cold and your hair to stand on end; you cast your gaze to your couch to find the mysterious stranger sitting there, popcorn in hand.
>You yelp in fear before desperately trying to unlock your door, when you manage to do so you open it to find him standing right in your path.
>You gasp before trying to slam the door in his face...a gloved hand from behind grabs hold of the door, stopping you. You turn around to find that there are in fact two of them.
>You stand there, speechless as the one from outside makes his way in to your apartment you back away from the two.
>They stand side by side, both of them wearing the same shit eating grin. "Are you okay Anonymous, you look like you're looking at a monster or something," says the stranger on the left.
>The one on the right drapes his arm over the one on the left, "I agree, Anonymous please stop staring it's quite rude," says the stranger on the right before bursting out in to fits of laughter.
>You cannot process this guy's request, your mind is too busy trying to comprehend the site it's been forced to behold.
>Then things take a turn for the worst, you hear the sickening sound of bones breaking as the two strangers seem to meld in to one being, their smiles never leaving their faces.
>You feel yourself grow light headed from this turn of events. Your mind can only handle so much, you scream, you scream and you back away, even though your back is against the wall you still keep trying to move away in vain.
>When that little transformation is done the stranger is back down to one. You're struggling to keep yourself from vomiting; the ramen isn't sitting too well in your stomach.
>You can feel it start to make its way up, but you force it down. That little transformation may have been disgusting, but it's not the worst thing you've ever seen.
>After all you watched two girls one cup, now that shit was worse. "What...what are you," you ask as you keep your eyes trained on this guy.
>Who knows what he's going to do next, if he can split himself up, and if he's able to appear wherever he wants then you're at his mercy.
>The stranger walks over to you and kneels down so he's at your level, then he removes his sunglasses to reveal a disgusting set of red and yellow irises.
>You can see why this guy wore those sunglasses; the way one pupil seems to shrink while the other grows isn't exactly the most attractive thing to see. You grimace but he doesn't seem to care.
>"I'm your way out of this life of mediocrity Anonymous, all you have to do is accept my offer," says the stranger as his gaze turns grim.
>"What if I refuse," you ask as you start to slide away from him, he chuckles before taking off a glove to reveal talons where his fingers would be, "My dear Anonymous, my offer is non-negotiable."
>Before you can react his index finger from his taloned hand touches your forehead and your vision starts to blur.
>You suddenly feel tired...as if you haven't slept in days, you try to move, you try to speak, but your muscles have relaxed and your speech has been slurred.
>His voice is the only thing you can seemingly focus on now, it echoes throughout your mind as he speaks.
>"We'll discuss my offer in detail when we arrive, for now, sleep...OH and just where are my manners, I never properly introduced myself did I?" you manage to weakly shake your head as you slump to the floor.
>You hear him face palm, "Ah I always get distracted when I'm excited you have to forgive me. I go by many names, but Discord shall suffice," and with that consciousness finally leaves you.