Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- Friends on the Brain
- > "Fwuffy wuv wuippeh stick! Owies!! Wan hug fwiend! OWIES! Why fwiend nuu hug? OWIES!"
- > A pink filly with a red mane is being held by the scruff of her neck trying to hug a car antenna
- > The small man with a bandanna and brown hair sticking out thwacks her bottom over and over
- > Curly red tail tries desperately to cover the now swollen and similarly colored bottom
- > "You! Don't! Make! Poopies! Outside! The! Litter box!"
- > *Whap!* *Whap!* *Whap!* *Whap!*
- > "Why wuippeh fwiend huwt fwuffy poopie pwace? OWIES! Fwiend nice! OWIES! Why hoomin fwiend huwt fwuffy? OWWIEESS!"
- > The short man stands no higher than five foot five
- > His body however is extremely large
- > Muscle ripples underneath skin each time he whips the fluffy
- > "YEOWIESSSS!! WHY BOOBOO JUICE?! FWIEND GIFF BOOBOO JUICE!"
- > The metal antenna is now dripping with feces, urine, and blood as it repeatedly smacks the pony's sensitive butt
- > Tears flowing the pony doesn't say it's sorry though
- > "Are you going to poop outside the litter box?!"
- > This isn't the first time, it's the thirtieth today
- > "Nuu! Nuu wan make bad poopies on wittow bowks fwiend!"
- > "Argh!"
- > The man whacks her back and puts her in the sorry box close by
- > "Yay sowwy bowks fwiend! Fwuffy miss bowks fiwend!"
- > "Graaahghaa! BGoahgkalgara!"
- > The antenna is thrown onto a nearby table
- > Fluffies would have made bad poopies at this display of rage
- > If there were any fluffies left in the training room
- > Only the pink and red filly remain
- > Even the dumbest retard managed to poop in the litter box at least once intentionally
- > "God damnit, this bitch is fucking stupid!"
- > He kicks a nearby empty sorry box
- > Feces slides out onto the floor when it falls
- > "Oh Fucking Beautiful! God Damnit! ARGGGG!"
- > The short muscular man has been working with this fluffy for the last three hours
- > Feeding it a tasteless paste which fluffies digest very rapidly
- > The filly has pooped all over the floor
- > Just not in the litter box
- > "Meah! mea! meaaah! Fluffy nooo wanna' poop on litter box frieeeeend meahhhhh!"
- > The man is practically throwing a tantrum
- > "Lou, what the hell is wrong with you?"
- > The slender and dark haired Jeane enters the room
- > "It's uh... nothing ma'am... This fluffy is just getting on my nerves..."
- > "God damn man, if a fluffy is misbehaving and violent just put them in a carrier"
- > Now thoroughly embarrassed Lou has calmed down
- > "No it's... she's not violent, she just refuses to poop on anything but the floor"
- > Jeane looks unimpressed
- > "Let me show you how it's done, we can hear you bitching on the sales floor, it's scaring customers!"
- > She pushes the muscular man aside a full head taller than him but almost half his weight
- > He complies disgraced that a mutant horse got him so riled up
- > "You're usually so cool about this Lou I can't believe this..."
- > Jeane gives the filly a large spoon full of the mush who munches happily
- > "Nummies fwiend suu nice! Giff wossa good nummies! Su yumm... uh oh! Poopies! Nuu bad poopies!"
- > Jeane places the fluffy in the pen and watches
- > The fluffy runs towards the litter box
- > "I...She... she didn't..."
- > Jeane continues to watch arms crossed and rather cross herself
- > Then the fluffy reaches the litter box
- > "Oh! Hewwo wittow bowx fwiend! NUU! Nee poopies! Uh? uh! uh! uh!"
- > Spinning in place the filly looks for a place to relieve her exlax laced chow
- > Spotting an open place she waddles past several turds she dropped earlier
- > "Sc'uuze me poopie fwiends nee make poopies!"
- > She tiptoes around the piles of liquid feces and reaches the open space
- > "HEAngggg! ...aaahhhhh..."
- > Squatting and raising her tail she lets loose another spoon sized pile of excrement
- > Then she pinches it off and turns around nearly putting her nose in it
- > "Oh! Hewwo nuu fwiend! Wuv poopie fwiend... nuu smeww pwetty..."
- > The filly proceeds to find a toy nearby and play with it repeating "Fwiend! Fwiend!"
- > Lou looks both relieved and exasperated
- > "See what I mean ma'am? She's totally non compliant but is very polite at the same time."
- > Jeane nods as she smiles and slaps Lou on the shoulder
- > "Haha hahaha, oh man Lou I think she's got Friend Complex"
- > Lou looks like he's been slapped with a fish, and is debating whether or not to fight back
- > "A... a what complex?"
- > "Just look"
- > Jeane picks the fluffy up gently shaking some wet feces off of her bottom
- > "Woooeeewwoeeewooeewooee teeheehee wuv up down! Whee!"
- > The wiggling happy fluffy is shown a ball
- > "Wuv baww fwiend!"
- > Jeane looks at Lou
- > "Notice anything strange about that?"
- > "No, it loves the ball, so what? All fluffies do."
- > Jeane sighs and throws the ball into the pen
- > She picks up the sorry stick Lou employs
- > A partially rusted car antenna that every fluffy fears
- > "Fwuffy wuv whippy huwty fwiend!"
- > Lou looks a little stunned
- > "She's not retarded is she?"
- > Jeane laughs again and places the fluffy in a pet carrier
- > "Bowks fwiend! Yaaay!"
- > She removes an index card and begins to write on it speaking to Lou at the same time
- > "No, she's not retarded. She's got a unique and rare mental disorder. It's called a Friend Complex"
- > Lou blinks twice and Jean continues with a sigh
- > "Do I have to spell it out? A Friend Complex is where a fluffy thinks everything and everyone is a friend"
- > "Other fluffies are fine, but it also thinks all living things are too. Even predators."
- > "Friend Complex also makes the fluffy think that each unique object is concious as well"
- > Lou gasps as he slaps his forehead
- > "Oh man! That explains why she talked to poop!"
- > "Yeah, it also explains why she wouldn't poop on her litter box friend"
- > Jeane uses air quotes in-between writing for the "litter box friend" rolling her eyes
- > "So what's this mean ma'am? Is she gonna be scrapped?"
- > Jeane looks over at her latest employee with a smile
- > "Nope, this means we have a big winner."
- > Jeane places a yellow circular sticker on the laminate as she slides the card into its sleeve
- > "What's that ma'am?"
- > Only hired two weeks ago Lou is well meaning if a little slow
- > Jeane smiles as she explains
- > "This means she has a rare disposition. People will pay big bucks for a fluffy that loves everything"
- > "And, they'll pay the fluffies weight in gold for Friend Complex foals."
- > She picks up the fluffy carrier and hands it to Lou
- > "Take her to storage and place her in the special room, yellow rack."
- > She leaves Lou standing, upturned sorry box and feces all over the training room
- > "Make sure Roxy knows about the fluffy, he'll feed it. Also, uh... clean up this mess."
- > She winks and blows a kiss before she gleefully leaves
- > "Thanks Louie!"
- > Still standing amid the wet feces with a carrier in hand he looks around the room
- > Seeing how filthy it is and knowing he has to train another batch in a few hours he sighs
- > This job is definitely not as easy as Rex made it out to be...
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement