Undertaker Funeral

Dave Taylor held a funeral for The Undertaker, with eulogies by:

Godfather: "I've known the Undertaker a long time. A long, long time. I knew him back when I used to practice voodoo. Damn, that was a wild time. And I knew him when I was into the whole UFC thing, even fought him a few times. I'm gonna miss that deadman."

Scotty Bollea: "You know, neighbor, I go a long way back with The Undertaker. It was back in 1974 when I took him on in Pancrase in my first real mixed martial arts fight. I made him tap out like a little wuss, but you know what? I saw something in him. I saw that fire that brought him so far in the wWF! And when we were in the locker room backstage, and he asked me, "Scotty Bollea, how can I be immortal like you?", I gave him the only advice I knew. "Neighbor, to be an Immortal like me you have to transcend death! You can't fear death! Make it fear you!" And... And I guess he took that to heart. But fear can only go so far, and death must come for us all eventually. Undertaker faced his death as best he could, and I don't think any of us could do any better."

Vic Venom: "Bro. Bro, I don't wanna cut you off, but I got somethin' to say. The Undertaker... The Undertaker meant a whole goddamned lot to this business. He meant a whole goddamn lot to the WWF, and he gave all he could for this business, and this company. BUT THAT BALD HEADED SON OF A BITCH DEATH JUST HAD TO PLAY HIS CREATIVE CONTROL CARD! BUT THAT DON'T MEAN SHIT, DEATH! YOU KNOW WHY? THE UNDERTAKER LIVES ON, IN ALL OUR HEARTS! AS LONG AS WE ALL BELIEVE, THE UNDERTAKER WILL NEVER TRULY BE DEAD!"

Ultimate Warrior: "I'm not going to rant and rave right now. Destrucity and the seven disciplines have their place, but sometimes a warrior must speak softly and from the heart. A few weeks back, the Undertaker asked for my help. Do you know what that means, to have a man like The Undertaker ask for your help? It means he respects you more than he fears the shame of looking weak. And like a goddamn fool, I said no. I couldn't see the trust he put in me, and I doubted him. More than that, I put my title contendership above his need. I went to that damn title match not even a half hour after he was sprayed with that deadly black mist and put in that casket, and I got screwed over by the goddamn Fucktrain. Is that what the Undertaker's life was worth? Was letting him die worth that title shot? No. And I didn't just let the Undertaker down. I let down myself, I let down the codes and disciplines of the warrior spirit, and I let down each and every one of you. I'm sorry. I'm so... so sorry."

Goldust: "I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.

Rutger Hauer. Ridley Scott's immortal Blade Runner. Thank you. Thank you."