Anon in Deadquestria

>Day 100 in Deadquestria
>It seems that every day, another pony either dies or suffers a horrible accident
>Today, that pony was Luna
>You, however, didn't know that
>Because you were sleeping
>Window blinds were the best thing ever
>The sun could just fuck right off with its ever-questing rays aiming for your eyes
>Fucking denied, bitch!
>Alas, you could not stay asleep forever
>This wasn't a Rip van Winkle Anon story, after all
>You were awoken by the crash of something breaking in your room
>You shot up in bed
>That ugly-ass vase you never actually gave two shits about was in pieces, on the floor
>Standing near it was the ghostly form of Princess Luna
>"We apologize for your... er... lovely vase, but you would not wake. We need your assistance!"
"Princess Luna? What the fuck happened to you?"
>"We had a bit of an... accident. With breakfast."
"That explains everything, except how I can help you."
>"You know the Element of Magic, yes? The one called Twilight Sparkle?"
"'Know' is a bit of a strong word..."
>"You at least know where she lives, yes?"
"Oh yeah, definitely."
>"Good. Please take us there, post-haste."
"Hmm... nah."
>"What?!"
"What's in it for me?"
>"You- surely you cannot be serious?!"
"I don't really feel like being experimented on by Twilight today. If I'm going to risk exposure to experimentation, I'd at least like to have some form of compensation beforehand."
>"When we return to our corporeal form, we can pay you for your trouble. Please?"
"Actually, I don't really need any bits."
>"Then what sort of compensation could you possibly want?!"
"Well..."
>You glanced downward to see your little soldier standing at attention, and smiled at the ghostly spectre of Luna
>"You cannot be serious."
[Five minutes later]
>Luna's ghostly head is bobbing up and down on your dick
"GHOST BLOWJOB! WOOWOO WOO WOO WOO!"
>She stops, to shoot you an annoyed glare
>"Must you yell that?"
"Yes."
>Luna rolls her eyes and continues, eventually finishing you off
>The two of you eventually made it to Twilight's
>Luna was restored to her normal self, you got away from the purple bitch without being experimented on
>And thus everything returned to the status quo
>Except for the occasional odd glance Luna would give you, that is
>Today was a good day.