Pinktastic Voyage

“Alright Pinkie, what the hell are you?”
>The diminutive flamboyant horse-creature looks up at you from her seat on the table, face brimming with curiosity.
>“Whaddya mean, silly? I'm a Pinkie Pie!”
>You cross your arms.
“I know that. But you just pac-manned your way through twelve entire cakes, hardly stopping to breathe or chew.”
>She giggles, wiping a stray streak of frosting off her cheek.
>“Well, it's not everyday we have a party with cake!”
“Yes it is. We had a party yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before |that|. In fact, this very party is in celebration of having a party every day for the last twelve days. ...Which I guess explains the number and layout of the cakes you just ate, at least.”
>Her smile could blind the unprepared.
>“Yeah! I'm gonna try for thirteen tomorrow!”
>You sigh heavily, rubbing your forehead.
“Okay. You eat a lot of cake, I get that. What I |don't| get is how you never seem to take on a pound. Based on just the amount of confections you've eaten this week, you should be the size of a house. Or at least weigh as much as one, if my 'variable density' theory had any merit.”
>Giggling, the pink party pony hops off of the table.
>“Aw come on, Anon, I don't eat |that| much cake.”
“No, you do. You alone account for ten percent of the Annual Confectionary Consumption for all of Equestria. Twilight showed me the records.”
>Her mood seems to take a nosedive.
> “Awww, only ten?”
>You take to trying to stare a hole in her head as she snaps back into giggling.
>Though you don't break your crippling stare, you notice a purple figure walking up next to you.
>“Hey Pinkie, Anon. What are you two talking about over here?”
“I'm trying to figure out how Pinkie is Pinkie.”
>Twilight can only sigh and roll her eyes.
>“Oh boy. Listen, I've been down that road before. And I'll tell you now; what you seek is unobtainable.”
“Maybe for your weak horse-folk brains. But I have the brilliant mind of a predator, one that led my kind to the top of the food chain by pure ingenuity.”
>“Didn't you say you got here when you tried to make crystals from volatile cleaning agents you found under the sink?”
“Well how was I supposed to know those jerks on the internet were fulla shit?!”
>Twilight only gives you a look of irritated pity in response to your minor outburst.
>You turn back to Pinkie, who was currently laying her head in a chocolate fountain, one of the streams pouring into her insatiable gullet.
>Like a shot, you leap up and grab hold of her, wrenching her mouth open and shouting inside.
“Tell me your secrets, you vacuous venter of visionary vastness!”
>While waiting for a reply, something becomes apparent to you.
>You look closer into the abyssal aperture.
>Another familiar voice makes it's way to your ears, though slightly muffled.
>“Hey guys, what's going- uh. Anon? What are you doing?”
>“Hehh hryin hh hinhh huh hhw hy hehh.”
>“Pinkie, I can't understand you with Anon's head completely inside your mouth.”
>You release your hold and emerge from the sugary cavern.
>A moderately uncomfortable silence falls over the four of you as you stare blankly into the distance.
>“Uh, Anon?”
“Nothing.”
>The blue pegasus only grows more confused.
>“Huh?”
“I saw... nothing.”
>Twilight tries her hoof at getting you to make sense.
>“What do you mean, 'nothing'?”
“I mean there's nothing in there. Nothing at all. Just an endless, expansive void of darkness.”
>Rainbow crosses her her forelegs, still hovering in midair.
>“Are you sure that's not just because there's no light in there?”
>You return her look of disapproval, before stomping on one of Pinkie's back hooves.
>Her body bolts into a bipedal upright position, mouth agape and aimed skyward.
>Keeping your foot planted, you grab hold of Twilight, who yelps in surprise at the sudden loss of a grounded status.
>Flicking her horn causes it to involuntarily light up, and you aim it down into the destroyer of pastries.
>Rainbow curiously floats overhead, peering into the neon maw.
>Just as you had said, the light fell into nothingness just beyond the back of her throat.
>“Whoa...”
>Drawn by the commotion, Applejack, Fluttershy and Rarity make their way over to join the group.
>“What in tarnation's goin on over here?”
“Pinkie's got some kind of 'infinite void' thing going on with her everything.”
>You casually release your impromptu light, who falls headfirst with another shout into the entrance to the unknown, getting stuck up to her neck.
>“Oh dear. Well that would explain how she keeps her figure in as good a shape as mine with none of the effort. Something I'm still irritated about...”
>Twilight eventually frees herself, throwing her mane into a frazzled mess as she shakes off the daze.
>Rainbow, of course, finds this hilarious.
>Twilight just glares at her, and then you.
>Fluttershy's nearly inaudible voice finally makes itself barely known.
>“So, um... what are we gonna do?”
“What else, butterflybutt?”
>You jump to your feet.
“We're going on a journey.”
>You point dramatically at the slightly confused, but still generally giddy, earth pony.
“A journey... to the center of the Pink!”


>Several magi-technical machines hum with energy about the tree library's laboratory basement, recording all manner of super-sciency stuff you really didn't give two fucks about.
>But that silly purple unicorn insisted that if this was going to happen, she'd need to record everything she could in the name of science.
>You supposed you were doing it in the name of science as well, to a point.
>Really, this preposterous pink poofy-haired pony had been bugging the shit out of you ever since you got here.
>So if you could just figure out |one| thing about her, maybe you'd stop bugging Applejack for some spare rope and the location of a sturdy tree branch.
>You looked back at the center of the room, where Twilight had laid Pinkie out on a steel medical table, and was currently affixing some fancy magic thingamajigger to her head.
>“Alright, Pinkie. This magic headset translocational audio device should keep us all in contact during the procedure.”
>“Transponvanian whatchahoozit?”
>Twilight sighs, a common practice around this particular friend of yours.
>“Talk into this bit and we'll hear you.”
>“Oh. Okie Dokie.”
>“That goes for the rest of you, too.”
>There's a murmur of  affirmation around the room as everyone puts on their own copy of the strange, somewhat bulky headgear.
>Applejack was having trouble fitting her hat on over it, while Rarity was using her magic to affix a myriad of gemstones to hers.
“Alright enough fartin' around, let's get this show on the road. Everybody ready?”
>A much more unified “Yeah!” comes from your spectrum of friends.
“Alright then! Into the breach!”
>You point again at the target of your adventure.
>Nobody moves.
>Rainbow eventually speaks up.
>“So uh... how are we gonna do this? Does Twilight have some kinda fancy shrinking spell to cast on us?”
“Pfft, no.”
>In one swift motion, you snatch the surprised birdhorse out of the air and cram her into Pinkie's mouth.
>She only goes in about halfway, though, until you forcibly fold her wings in and shove a little harder.
>The others are a bit harder to catch, but eventually you're finishing up stomping the flailing orange behind of the last passenger save yourself into the living black hole.
>Pulling her malleable jaws open a bit wider, you brazenly leap in feet first.
>The pink passage snaps shut after you, the lost headset bouncing off of her face and onto the table.
>Before she has time to contemplate it, your arm forces her cakehole open again, searches a bit, grabs the device, and recedes once more.


>You've been falling through an endless expanse of a whole lotta nothing for quite a while now.
>Like, shit. It felt like hours.
>You decide to check in with Chief Science Officer Purplesmart.
“Hey Twilight, you guys hit anything yet? Like, the ground, maybe?”
>“Not yet, Anon. This place seems to go on forever... wait! I think I see lights below!”
“Lights? What kind of lights?”
>“Hey, I see 'em too! This is awesome!”
“Rainbow, what are you two talking–“
>The channel comes alive with shouts of awe and surprise, cutting you off.
>It was rather irritating that whatever the hell they were yelling about was– oh shit.
>A veritable sea of tiny illuminated pinpricks in the blanket of darkness rises from below, expanding in every direction almost infinitely.
>Your ear gets filled with more coherent forms of amazement.
>“It's gorgeous!”
>“Mah gawd, it's fulla stars.”
>“It's like Luna's night sky!”
>“wow...”
>“Wait... are those buildings?”
“Uh, say again, Rainbow?”
>“Guys, those aren't stars! Those are buildings! It's a city!”
>As you draw inexorably closer, many of the lights  shift position, falling into line and marking the presence of hundreds of mile-high structures.
>You had to admit, this was something else.
>A faint voice somehow manages to break through your veil of astonishment.
>“Uh... hey girls? ...and Anon.... How are we going to land safely if only me and Rainbow have wings?”
>The channel goes silent.
“I, uh. I hadn't thought of that.”
>You take time to see just how close the ground was getting.
“This may pose a problem.”
>You wince as three terrified ponies start screaming into your head.
>And Fluttershy too, for some reason.
>With much effort, Rainbow eventually makes herself known over the din.
>“Guys! Guys! It's alright, listen! Fluttershy, can you get Applejack?”
>“Um, I think so...”
>“You'd better!”
>“Good, I can get Twilight and Rarity.”
>“Oh, good.”
>“That's a relief.”
>“Psh, and you guys were worried.”
“Heheh, yeah... wait.”
>Looking up, you catch a glimpse of your five friends suddenly not falling nearly as fast as you were.
“What about MEEEEEEEE?!”


>It was official.
>You fucking loved marshmallows.
>Okay, they were always pretty great, but until now they'd never saved your life.
>You'd question why this strange city had an open-air marshmallow factory with giant holding cells later.
>Hopping out and over the edge, you land on the floor near your pack of worried looking friends, Twilight at the front.
>“Anonymous! Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I'm fine. I landed in a pile of Rarity.”
>You pop one of the tiny cylindrical sweets into your mouth as the ivory unicorn in question leers.


>The city seemed even more immense from the ground.
>Streets stretched across the horizon, hundreds of buildings adorning every corner.
>The only sources of lights were those coming from the endless architecture's millions of windows, and an untold number of streetlamps lining the paved pathways.
>It was a big fuckin' city, is what I'm getting at here.
>It was even populated; ponies, griffons, minotaurs, and all manner of other strange creatures filled the streets and sidewalks, bustling here and there on whatever tasks they had to do in their eternally veiled city.
>Twilight was still in awe at everything around her.
>“This is astonishing... I mean, look at this place! To think that something like this could exist...”
>You had been staring into the eerily pitch-black sky for a while as the six of you walked along, dodging the unending throng of sapients pervading the streets.
>Eventually a question comes to you, and you pass it on to the purple one.
“So, where are we, exactly?”
>Twilight stopped, furrowing her brow.
>“I don't really know. I have a theory, but... no. It's impossible.”
>“Twilight, darling. We are currently standing on the busy streets of a tremendous city that is apparently contained within the comparatively small space of our friend Pinkie Pie. 'Impossible' left the building quite some time ago.”
>“She's gotcha there, smarty. So what's rattling around in that old egg of yours?”
>Rainbow taps on Twilight's head, making a noticeable knocking sound.
>Twilight shoos her away like a hobo fighting a pigeon for a sandwich.
>“Well... It's not much to go on so far, but judging from what I've seen down here, and what I've read in a couple ancient myth books, we may very well be standing in the lost city of Atlantigo.”
>Everyone's jaw drops, even Rainbow's.
>Applejack regains composure first.
>“Atlantigo? That place's done been lost for thousands ah years! Even longer than the Crystal Empire!”
>“Look, I said it was only a theory!”
>As your friends bicker, you calmly turn your communicator back on.
“Hey, Pinkie. You didn't eat any long-lost ancient cities, did you?”
>Everyone falls silent again.
>“...Maybe.”
>There is a collective groan.
>“That doesn't make any sense! Even ignoring the ridiculous notion of consuming an |entire| city, you'd have to be older than the princesses to have done it! Or have some kind of time-travel ability, and that's hard even for me!”
>Rainbow tries to calm her frantic friend.
>“It doesn't matter how she did it, we'll figure that out once we get out of here!”
>In an increasingly common occurrence, the group goes silent at another revelation.
>The five ponies slowly turn to you, Twilight again being team microphone.
>“Anon, how exactly are we going to get out of here?”
>You put a hand to your chin, stroking it in thought.
“You know, I don't think I thought of that either. Hm.”
>Twilight quickly becomes very irate at this information.
>“Did you even think of |anything| before stuffing us all in here?!”
“Hey, I came up with the awesome name for our expedition team; the Pink Party Pony Philosophy... Party.”
>The comparatively calmer unicorn takes over for her fuming friend.
>“Alliteration doesn't really help our current situation, dear.”
“Well, okay, fine. Let's think of something. Rainbow kept us all from becoming street-pizza, maybe she can just fly us out.”
>The prismatic pegasus nervously looks into the black sky.
>“I uh, I don't think I can fly that high. I mean, we fell for |hours|.”
“Alright, alright. Twilight. You've got that crazy magic shit, can't you just teleport us home?”
>She responded in an assuredly calmer, but still peeved tone.
>“I can only teleport things short distances, maybe a mile at most. And I lost count of how far we fell after about 30 miles.”
“Hm, okay. Uh... welp.”
>This was starting to seem hopeless.
>A shrill voice from behind suddenly rang out.
>“We can throw a party!”
>A loud blast accompanies the sudden shower of confetti and streamers now enveloping the group.
>You turn around irritated.
“Pinkie, I've told you a hundred times that parties aren't the solution to everyPINKIE WHAT THE FUCK!?”
>The bubbly creature reels back slightly at your change in volume.
>“What's wrong Anon?”
>You frantically flail your arms in futile gestures.
“Pinkie! How do... inside! What... is this... I don't... even...”
>Your arms slump limp at your sides, loss of reason now at critical levels.
>Rarity somehow finds words.
>“What I think our two-legged friend here is trying to say is... well...”
>She trails off, but Rainbow picks up the slack, zipping forward to get nose-to-nose with party pony.
>“How in Celestia's beard are you in here when 'here' is in |you|?!”
>She giggles, pushing the flustered flyer away.
>“How else, silly? I ate myself!”
>You all stare, incredulous.
>Eventually, Twilight calmly walks out into the street, and just lays down.
>Fluttershy and Rarity go and try to get a response from her, but don't have much luck.
>You can only hold your head and sigh.
“This was a mistake. I should have listened to Twilight.”
>Pinkie laughs again, eating a cupcake she acquired somewhere.
>“You guys are silly!”
>After a moment, a half-eaten cupcake hits you on the head.
>Applejack casually looks up at it.
> “Shouldn't that'ah taken a couple hours tah get here?”
>You go and lay in the street with Twilight.


>As it turns out, life in the lost city wasn't all that bad.
>Twilight took a while to get over never seeing the princesses or Spike again, but eventually accepted it with the help of some fine mood-altering medication you got from one of the many doctors around town.
>Though she really just kinda drifted from one bar to the next after that.
>Fluttershy took up residence in the city sewers, living happily amongst the sewer rats and gators and mutant, talking, crimefighting turtles.
>It probably had something to do with the water; shit kinda glowed a bit.
>Rainbow Dash, with no weather to deal with nor idols to pursue, did approximately fuckall from day one to an early grave, beget by a diet of nothing but junkfood.
>You had her tombstone marked with her last words; “Yeah, whatever.”
>Rarity, ever the entrepreneur, opened a new boutique, soon soaring to the top of the fashion world, and subsequently the entire economy.
>She ruled over the city with an iron fist, which she had commissioned from one of the local blacksmiths.
>Pinkie spent much of her time trying to brighten the lives of the eternally nocturnal cityfolk, which proved difficult since a lot of them were huge jerks.
>After years of trying and failing, she eventually just wandered off into the infinite void beyond the city limits, never to be seen again.
>As for you, you decided to settle in with Applejack, after she rebuilt her entire farm on the outskirts of town.
>You had many beautiful half-human, half-pony monstrosities together, effectively starting your own Apple Family; though she did occasionally wonder why some of your kids were yellow and had wings.

>You told her it was probably the water.