From: riot grrl weav-chan | Posted: 11/4/2014 09:35:53 PM | Filter | Message Detail | Quote
You know how ETI has a weird way of counting posted messages? They refuse to count a couple of them, making the amount of posts inconsistent. The reason for this is a lost topic from 2004.

Finding details about this missing topic is difficult, no one who was working on the site at the time likes to talk about it. From what has been pieced together, the lost topic was written entirely by Moltar. During production of the 2004 season, Moltar started to act strangely. He was very quiet, seemed nervous and morbid. Mentioning this to anyone who was present results in them getting very angry, and forbidding you to ever mention it to Moltar. I first heard of it at an event where shoecream was speaking. Someone in the crowd asked about the post, and shoecream simply left the stage, ending the presentation hours early. The topic number was 481, the title was Dead Kiffe. The topic numbered 482, "Ideepthroat.com = request!", was made later and given Dead Kiffe's topic number to hide the latter's existence.

In addition to getting angry, asking anyone who was on the show about this will cause them to do everything they can to stop you from directly communicating with Moltar. After one major drama topic, I managed to PM him after he posted in the topic, and eventually had a chance to talk to him alone as he was preparing to log out. He didn't seem upset that I had PMed him, probably expected a typical encounter with an obsessive yeti. When I mentioned the lost topic though, all color drained from his face and he started trembling. When I asked him if he could tell me any details, he sounded like he was on the verge of tears. He grabbed a piece of paper, wrote something on it, and handed it to me. He begged me never to mention the topic again.

The piece of paper had a website address on it, I would rather not say what it was, for reasons you'll see in a second. I entered the address into my browser, and I came to a site that was completely black, except for a line of yellow text, a MegaUpload link. I clicked on it, and a file started downloading. Once the file was downloaded, my computer went crazy, it was the worst virus I had ever seen. System restore didn't work, the entire computer had to be rebooted. Before doing this though, I copied the file onto a CD. I tried to open it on my now empty computer, and as I suspected, there was an ETI topic on it.

The topic started off like any other topic, but had very poor literary quality. If you've seen a Zaphod Beeblebrox topic, it was similar, but less stable. The first post was fairly normal, but the way the posters acted was a little off. Rev4n seemed angrier, entrO seemed depressed, Junkievegeta seemed anxious, Kiffe seemed to have genuine anger and hatred for everyone.

The topic was about the mod staff going on a trip in a pickup truck, near the end of the first post, the truck was taking off. Kiffe was fooling around, as you'd expect. However, as the truck was going about 75 mph, Kiffe broke the tailgate on the truck and fell out. He died on impact after being in intensive care for 14 hours.

At the beginning of the forum, Moltar had an idea that the style of the message board 'LUElinks' world represented life, and that death turned things more realistic. This was used in this topic. The picture of Kiffe's corpse was barely recognizable, they took full advantage of it not having to move, and made an almost realistic model of his dead body.

Post one ended with the embedded image of Kiffe's corpse. When act two started, Rev4n, entrO, and Junkievegeta were sitting at their table, with crying modhaxed into the topic. The crying went on and on, it got more pained, and sounded more realistic, better acting than you would think possible. The post quality started to decay even more as they cried, and you could hear murmuring in the background. The usernames could barely be made out, they were stretching and blurring, they looked like deformed shadows with random bright colors thrown on them. There were faces looking in the window, flashing in and out so you were never sure what they looked like. This crying went on for all of post two.

Post three opened with a text marquee card saying one year had passed. Rev4n, entrO, and Junkievegeta were skeletally thin, and still sitting at the table. There was no sign of Tiko.

They decided to visit Kiffe's grave. TCF was completely deserted, and as they walked to the cemetery the apartments became more and more decrepit. They all looked abandoned. When they got to the grave, Kiffe's body was just lying in front of his tombstone, looking just like it did at the end of post one.

The group started crying again. Eventually they stopped, and just stared at Kiffe's body. The camera zoomed in on entrO's face. According to summaries, entrO tells a joke at this part, but it isn't audible in the version I saw, you can't tell what entrO is saying. The view zoomed out as the topic came to a close.