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Dec 9th, 2016
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  1. “Alile.” Robin cupped her chin and turned her head to him. “I can tell you’ve got a lot on your chest. I don’t know if I can be of any help to you, but at the very least, I consider myself a good listener.”
  2. Alile took a deep breath. What was the worst that could happen? If there was anyone she could tell, it was him. “Robin, you really do believe that I’m psychic, right?”
  3. He nodded.
  4. “Well, as you saw earlier, I'm a wizard--an Aeromancer to be exact.”
  5. “You control wind,” Robin stated matter of factly.
  6. “Sounds like you’ve done some studying,” Alile said.
  7. “More like a little someone used her magic on me earlier.” He poked her nose playfully.
  8. Oh... duh.
  9. “Anyway.” She pushed his finger away. “It’s said that there’s a one in a million chance of an Aeromancer being a psychic. It’s viewed as a rare, special gift, but it’s not a gift at all. It’s a curse.”
  10. “A curse?” Robin edged closer to her.
  11. “There’s this little sprite thing that looks just like me, I call it Spritelile. I’m the only one who can see it. It follows me wherever I go, reading the future off of a script, but will only tell me of events within twenty four hours, and will only tell me the futures of people near me. Like, if I’m in a group of four, Spritelile will read off their futures for the day one by one, event by event. It’ll even read off my own future every twenty four hours, so I always know what’s going to happen during my day. No matter where I go, no matter how hard I try to block it out, it invades my mind.”
  12. “Sounds as if you're living inside a storybook and every time you enter a new chapter, it gets spoiled for you,” Robin said, taking the words right out of her mouth.
  13. “Exactly. Robin, I can’t find any joy in this world. I have no objective, no value, no anything. I’m not living, I’m just existing, wading through life meaninglessly,” she said, wrapping her arms around herself.
  14. “So, correct me if I’m not understanding here. Basically, you’ve resigned on life because you feel as if there is no profit in it for you?” Robin asked.
  15. “That’s one way to summarize it, yes.” Alile sighed. “I don’t know why, but you’re the first person I’ve ever been unable to predict.”
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  17. Okay so I fixed up the little grammar bits because it was getting to me. The way you frame your dialogue is as important as the dialogue itself grammar wise. Watch your dialogue tags because a lot of people will pass over your story if those aren't correct no matter what the content is.
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  19. Your dialogue, I think, is fine. Robin is odd though. He seems to be all over the place tone wise. He's cupping her chin, a serious and intimate action. Then he's poking her nose playfully and joking around? Then he's back to serious, edging closer to her and being supportive.
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