April Foods Day [FOODPONE]

>you are Anonymous
>and it just so happens to be April First
>you've heard rumours of a group of ponies made of food will be trying to get your goose
>you're ready for anything these Food Ponies can throw at you
>literally, AND metaphorically
>here you sit in your living room, listening to the clock's monotonous ticking
>*Tick* *Tock* *Tick* *Tock*...
>a sudden knock at the door rouses you from your thoughts
>it must be their time to strike
>wanting to get this over with, you stand up and stride to the doorway
>you yank open the door, and...
>...
>...nothing happens
>you step outside to take a look around, trying to find the one that knocked
>"OI, ANONYMOUS!"
>your fears come true, you turn your gaze toward the roof behind you
>on it stands a mare that appears to be comprised entirely of pizza, holding a sizable bucket
>"You might want some shampoo after this!"
>time moves in slow motion as she tips the vessel over, pouring it's contents onto a horrified you
>the only thing you can register is the grease
>it conceals the outside world from you, drowning you in a sea of unhealthy shellac-coated memories of pizza found in an old toilet stall
>the torrential downpour of horror stops, and you race back inside
>the Pizza Pony's mocking laughter follows you, and you slam the door closed, bolting it from the inside
>damn them!
>they got you this time, but you can survive the rest of the day relatively unscathed
>you're sure of it
>...but first, a shower