first change i guess

It is cold.

The bitter wind bites at my ears and stings my nose as I breathe in, but it cannot sink past my fur. The snow crunches under my paws and chills the pads.

But I thrive. I am still well-fed, easily finding the mice that make their tunnels under the white earth. Nothing escapes these ears, this nose, and their scratchings and their scent trails quickly lead them straight into my jaws. All is well.

The sun sinks low across the line where the sky meets the land, across the stretch of water that in warmer times waves, but is left still by the cold. It will be time to sleep soon.

But this time, something catches in the frozen air. The sun is surrounded by a great circle of light, with three smaller points surrounding it. They nip at its heels like my big cousins surrounding a deer, chasing it down over the horizon.

And as I see it, something starts to awaken in my head. It was like leaving my mother's den for the first time, looking out onto a world much bigger than myself. Those points of light start to blossom into colors I never knew before, one shade bleeding into the other until they finally disappear.

I step closer to the sunset. Slowly at first, my claws digging into the ice in an effort to keep from slipping, but the snow cover keeps my footing. It lets me run, barking out in exaltation as I join the pack, chasing down that great bright beast, even when I know I'll never catch it.

Some part of me starts to wonder. Another flower blooms in my thoughts. A question.

Why?

Whether or not I have an answer, I don't know. This isn't a mere hunt for prey. It is a second-guessing, not merely a do or do-not, but something deeper, as if my entire life I'd only been skimming the surface of some vast river, and that finally I was ready to dip down into its full depths.

I don't notice how the ice underneath my feet starts to crack under the weight of my running. It's so small at first, barely the wisps of spider web patternings and the slightest groan, but before I can change my course, the lake gives way, swallowing me into its freezing depths.

The water instantly pierces through my fur, burying into my flesh like sharp teeth. The cold is like venom, locking my limbs tight, leaving me nowhere to go but sinking further and further. My heart races, panic drawing the deadly water straight into my body through my nose and mouth.

I don't want to die. Not here. Not now. I wanted to-

/Something else gives way. Something inside me grows warmer and warmer until it burns as hot as a forest fire. My body twists and screams in defiance against the freezing water, reaching out with sharp claws to pull myself from the jaws of death. The ice no longer shatters under my grasp, and I finally make my way onto a surface that is perfectly smooth, glittering like stars.

I stand, shaking, on two legs, looking around with eyes that now see a world more bright and beautiful than I'd ever known. I see the sun that I had been chasing, sitting in the sky now not merely as a big ball of light, but something that watches me in return, his great head surrounded in a brilliant halo, almost judging me for chasing Him as He descended down to rest.

I look towards the other side of the sky, and see the lights cast from where I knew the humans dwelled. For the first time, from this strange place I now stood, I see the buildings over the horizon, draped in spider webs. What does that mean? I'll have to make sense of it sometime. So many new questions! But for now, I continue to follow the sun.

I walk across the frozen lake, the ice no longer cold against my constantly-shifting feet, trying to make sense of the constant, chittering voices I hear from every direction. Some flow underneath me with the currents under the ice. Some ride on the winds, brushing against my ears.

All of them seem very curious of me. And I of them, in return.

But as I reach the end of the lake, I feel exhaustion start to sink in. My legs shake, and once more the world changes color./
The snow once more gains its bite, but this time it digs in deeper than I'd known before. Shouldn't my fur protect me? But I look down, only seeing brown, hairless flesh.

Survival comes first, so I am quickly forced back into my natural body. But my mind is bright and alive. So many questions! And I plan on chasing every one until the end.