"Shit...o...shit," I said after a very long pause. "Britt...where are you? We need to talk, where are you right now are you at home?""No...mom and dad are at home. I'm up at Storyview park, I'm just...sitting in the parking lot..." she started to sob. "Sam...what are we...what are we going to do?""Just wait for me, I'll be there in ten...." my voice trailed off. My heart was pounding by this point. I needed to get my composure before I went back inside. I was sweating like crazy, that's what I remember the most. It was one of those things where my nerves were exploding and I was sweating in places you don't normally sweat. The back of my knees, under my chin, crazy places that you never feel sweat.My stomach was upside down and I was light headed. Holy fucking shit...my sister was pregnant and it was probably mine. Goddamn. What the FUCK were we going to do.I made my way back inside and announced to the group, "Sorry guys gotta go...ugh, family emergency." I have no recollection if we talked more than that. Maybe they asked if I was okay or what was going on I don't remember honestly. I bolted out the door and got in the car. I made my way toward the park. I actually pulled over at some point and threw up. I was so fucking sick. This was so fucked up. I was questioning everything and going insane. What should we do? Is it mine? Could it be Mike's? Does the calendar make it so that it could be his? Was Brittany not taking her fucking birth control? Should we abort it? What the FUCCCCKKK!I composed myself as best I could and got to the park. Storyview park is a joke. It's only a park insofar as it is government owned property with trees on it. There are no shelters, no swing sets, no grill sites, no basketball courts. It's a piece of shit. how they even call it a park I don't know. But it was the closest "park" to hour house and one where we spent lots of time growing up, just riding bikes or playing tag or whatever.I pulled in and slowly pulled up next to her car. I was still sweating bullets. I realized that even though I had the whole fucking ride to think of a good way to start the conversation that my mind had been racing to the point where I hadn't thought of a single goddamn thing. I pulled up along side her and got out of the car. She immediately jumped out of the car and ran up to me and fell into my arms.I held her as she begin bawling, burying her head in my chest and crumpling into a tiny little figure. We stood there silently in the park for several minutes, just holding each other.I finally broke the silence and the embrace. "What are we gonna do Britt.""I... I don't know. I took three tests. They were all positive. That's all I know.""Why did you even take them? Weren't you taking your birth control? What happened" I blurted out."I missed my period a couple weeks ago, I was worried but I never thought they would be positive..."She continued on explaining that she had been taking her birth control. She had read up on it and found out some of the antibiotics she took when she was sick could interfere with it but she didn't know. She had had unprotected sex with me and Mike around that time so she had no clue which one of us the father was. She was terrified about being pregnant. And she was triple terrified that she may be carrying an incestuous baby.We talked for hours that day. I remember it was a very gray day outside and started to rain an hour or so into our conversation. We moved into her car and sat and talked. We would hug, we would cry, we would fight and argue about how to handle it. I remember floating the idea of an abortion and she had a very violently negative reaction to it, calling me a killer and getting angry I would even suggest it. "It's not an option..." she had said.We composed ourselves enough to go home, retreated to our rooms immediately and avoided each other the rest of the night. I didn't sleep a single wink that night and I'm sure Brittany didn't either. The next few weeks were extremely awkward. We barely talked, avoided eye contact, and spent lots of time alone in our rooms. I'm sure our parents noticed something was up but didn't really mention anything. Britt had told me she would wait as long as possible to tell them she was pregnant.Over the course of the winter things stayed mostly the same. Britt and I warmed up a little bit to each other, the holidays were fine, and some days I would even forget about the crazy shit we were going through. On some occasions I'd lay in bed and just think about how fucked up things were. My sister is pregnant. the baby might be mine. holy fuck. How the fuck are we ever going to deal with this. Oh and I'm 17 and in my junior year. What the fuck.Britt and I's relationship definitely changed. Obviously we weren't having sex anymore. We did begin to hang out. We would talk about things occasionally...we'd hug...we'd occasionally kiss. But everything had a sad overtone to it, a tragic feel almost. We had gone somewhere that we could never get back from. We had lost some innocence. Even with some of the naughty, adult things we were doing...we weren't ready for all this.I'll spare the drama of when Britt told our parents she was pregnant. They exploded, mom called her names, she was "grounded," things were horrible at our house. She had already told Mike, and our parents were told he was the father. Brittany told everyone that Mike was the only guy she'd ever had sex with and so on and so forth. She protected me all the way. In some weird ways I felt more in love with her than ever during those times, even though we weren't getting along great. She protected me, she was the big sister that she was supposed to be. And I felt like shit. Suddenly I was the "good kid," the one that wasn't a pregnant whore, the one who got to move on with life while her belly swelled and rumors swirled around the school about her.It really broke her down and changed her quite a bit. I watched her become bitter and angry. Just thinking about it now as I write makes me sad and has brought tears to my eyes.Mike was lukewarm to the whole idea. He got pissed, offered money for an abortion, and was pissed when Britt said she'd be keeping it.In late March Britt found out she was having a baby boy. Everything was going well with the pregnancy, baby was seemingly healthy, and Mike had at least come around enough to say he would support the baby and help out where he could. As much as I hated that piece of shit, I was happy that Britt could at least have someone in the experience with her. I mean, I was in it with her, but no one knew that so for me I got to have my nice little secret life.I remember one of my many moments to not be proud of was about 6.5 months into her pregnancy. Britt and I were talking and having one of our good days together. She mentioned that if I thought she was a "horny freak" before pregnancy that she was really going nuts in her head now. I made some dopey comment about how I could "help her out" or something and she freaked on me. Guys can be idiots. Especially me.When delivery time came in August, things were still fairly uneasy. It was really one of the hardest days of my life. The love of my life was giving birth to possibly my first born child and I couldn't even be there for it. I was fucking DYING to be in that room with her, to finally be there for her, provide support, give her what she had given me over the last 9 months.But obviously that would be impossible. Whose little brother is in the room for a delivery. So I sat at home while Jackson was born. Fucking Mike was in the room. The baby was beautiful and healthy and perfect and actually brought our family together once he was actually in existence. I cried when I first held him, of course I couldn't even begin to tell anyone why. He looked just like Brittany...did he look like Mike? It was hard to tell. Mike was a douchey guy with a douchey beard and fuck I don't know.The first few nights home all I wanted to do was hang around the house to be with Brittany and to be with Jackson. I wanted to support and help and that's what I did. It made me feel a little better. Brittany and I began to repair our relationship ever so slightly by way of that little cutie.About a week after he was born, Britt told me she had to take him to his first pediatrician visit. I offered to go just to help out and lend an extra hand."Oh...Mike's coming he'll help," she said. "Afterward we're going to get a paternity test."I had no idea this was coming. I thought Mike had just accepted things. But three days later we got it in the mail. A yellow envelope, addressed to Brittany, with the DNA results inside.