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[FR] The Best Human Contest - Finale

Dec 23rd, 2012
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  1. >You are now Slasher Science
  2. >After reveling in your short lived victory, you had realized you had a much bigger problem to fix
  3. >In your haste, you had left Fagdude on the track to be discovered by Badpacing, and no doubt other namefags and ponies later on
  4. >There would be an investigation, and with the magic these ponies posess, it would only be a matter of time
  5. >You slip quietly to the back of the crowd as Badpacing shouts what he saw and for somep0ny to help
  6. >You have a limited window of opporotunity
  7. >If you could just-
  8. >Aha!
  9. >You spot Etiquette standing a short while away
  10. >In the left back pocket of his jeans you see the gun from the start of the race
  11. >In his back right pocket you slowly slip the bloody scissors in
  12. >Hopefully these ponies didnt have finger printing evidence here
  13. 1/?
  14.  
  15. >You are Etiquette
  16. >After hearing Badpacing, you ran down the track with him, Twilight, the Mayor, Rarity and for some reason Rainbowdash
  17. >Arriving at the scene of the crime, some police ponies already had the sight blocked off with yellow tape
  18. >"Alright folks, this is a crime scene. Nobody pony or human, is to cross this line, and we want to question all of you individually"
  19. >"Furthermore---
  20. >{BOOM}
  21. >A wave of hot air hits your face, pushing down the grass and bending the trees around you, while the roar of an explosion invades your ears
  22. >After a minute, you can hear yourself think, and you say
  23. What the fuck was that?
  24. >"I don't know!"
  25. >"I hope nop0nys hurt!"
  26. >"I'll go check!"
  27. >You hear Rainbowdash say before she flies up into the sky, peering in the direction of the noise
  28. >Before she comes down, you spot black smoke pouring into the sky on the horizon
  29. >"Rarity...its your boutique"
  30. 2/?
  31.  
  32. >You are now Rarity
  33. >You try not to panic as you run over to the remanants of your boutique
  34. >The others follow behind you, and as you spot her standing near the wreckage, releif floods through your heart
  35. >"Rarity"
  36. Sweetie Belle! Oh thank Celestia you're ok!
  37. >You hug her and the others arrive
  38. >"Oh, I'm so glad nop0ny was hurt!"
  39. >Twilights voice makes you remember, and you choke out
  40. Fluttershy!
  41. >"What about her?"
  42. She....she was in there
  43. >You point a hoof towards the smoldering remains
  44. >Everyp0ny lets out a gasp
  45. She said she wanted to wear something nice for when SLasher got to their new house, so I told her to look in the boutique!
  46. 3/?
  47.  
  48. >You are now Etiquette
  49. >You couldn't beleive it
  50. >Fluttershy was gone
  51. >She was an annoying wannabe rapist, but still, she was dead
  52. >You hear Twilight
  53. >"We have to find the pony who did this and bring them to justice!"
  54. >Then you hear Rainbowdash
  55. >"Hey Etiquette, whats that in your back pocket?"
  56. >The gun!
  57. >its ok Eitquette, relax, act calm, they know nothing
  58. Well its the gun from the starting race, remmeber?
  59. >"No, not that, the thing in the other pocket thats wet!"
  60. >Wet?
  61. >You reach back, and grab something cold and metallic
  62. >You bring it out, and everyp0ny gasps
  63. >Its a pair of scissors, dripping with bood
  64. 4/?
  65.  
  66. >You need to say something, and quick
  67. Look, I know what this looks like, but these aren't mine!
  68. >RD:"Then why were they in your back pocket?"
  69. I don't know! But I didn't put them there!
  70. >TS:"You know, they match the wounds that were on Fagdude! I bet you killed Fagdude, didn't you?"
  71. Woah, woah, woah, I did not kill Fagdude! Thats crazy talk!
  72. >"Is it?"
  73. >You hear an oh so famiiliar voice behind you
  74. >"Well I don't know about that, but I'll tell you what, he did try to shoot me earlier"
  75. >You turn around, already knowing who it is
  76. >"And another thing. He killed Jeremy."
  77. 5/?
  78.  
  79. Picklehead, first of all, you can't kill an inanimate object, and second of all, you didn't tell them why i tried to kill you!
  80. >"So you admit you did try to kill me! I'd also like to say that I found some explosive equipment on the hill over there, and that they have Etiquette written all over them"
  81. >Now this is just getting ridiculous
  82. And how would I have set off those explosives Picklehead, huh? I was at the finish line of the race the whole time!
  83. >Rarity pipes up through her sobs
  84. >"Well there was those five minutes you were g-gone between the beginning of the race and when you showed up"
  85. For God's sake Rarity I'm trying to find out who blew up your house here!
  86. >The two police ponies show up
  87. >"Theres no need to try and figure it out there, sir. We have all the evidence we need"
  88. >Two hoof-sized cuffs are slapped on your wrists
  89. You can't be serious!?
  90. 6/?
  91.  
  92. >You are now Twilight Sparkle
  93. >Its been three monthes, and finally everything seemed to have reached a sense of normalcy in Ponyville
  94. >You felt safe again with those two gone
  95. >Etiquette had been tried in front of the Royal Court
  96. >All three princesses had found hm guilty for Arson, two accounts of pre-meditated murder, attempted murder and Intentional Infliction of Emotional distress
  97. >The zero tolerance policy for such crimes was death by execution
  98. >You felt little sadness for his death
  99. >After the trial you hadn't seen Picklehead
  100. >The last thing he said before leaving the court room was that he'd be back someday, but he had to get in touch with his inner pickle
  101. >You didn't question him, everyone coped in their own way
  102. >And then a month later, the whole Sweetie Belle Incident had happened
  103. >She had gone missing, and showed up bruised and abused, but alive in Slasher Science's house
  104. >After some therapy and memory spells, she was back to her normal self
  105. >Slasher howere, met the same fate as Etiquette
  106. >But everything was pretty much back to normal now
  107. 7/?
  108.  
  109. >You are now Slasher Science
  110. >Its day thrity four in hell
  111. >Yep, after killing fagdude and abusing Sweetie Belle, you were in hell
  112. >With Etiquette, no less
  113. >Your day started like this
  114. >Wake up
  115. >Shit bricks
  116. >Fluttershy guesses your fetish
  117. >You say no, and then she rapes you anyway, while carrying out her fetish
  118. >Her fetish is blood and gore
  119. >Who'da thunk?
  120. >Fluttershy keeps mentioning how she can't wait until Picklehead is here with you, because then the three of you can have fun for eternity
  121. >After hours of being dismembered and raped by Fluttershy, you usually pass out or die
  122. >Then you are woken up by Fluttershy, body fine and well-rested
  123. >Ready for more rape
  124. >Yes, looks like for a while, you'll be
  125. >Fucking Fluttershy
  126. 8/8
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