O Lord,
Heavenly Host of Ownage,
Bastion of Killing Sprees,
We ask this of Thee:

Grant us nimble fingers and agile minds,
Precision keystrokes and perfect skillshots,
And may you bless us always
In our quests for glory.

Grant us low ping and perfect connection,
High performance and divine protection
From DCs and blue screens of death,
Those evils born of hellion's breath.

Grant us silver tongues and razor wit,
And buff our patience just a bit,
For even in the post-game lobby
The battle rages on.

Grant us serenity in the grim and pale,
Even when our teammates fail;
When Barracks and killing sprees
Are naught but a fleeting dream.

In any game of any mode,
Buff us with thy glory.
Grant us plus one to all stats
As we pwn in thine holy name.

Gaben.