Anon vs. Bat

Anon vs. Bat
By IceMan

>You are Twilight Sparkle.
>It's a warm summer evening, so you've left some windows open to let the cooler night air into your library.
>As you sit on the ground floor, reading a book on magical boxes and contraptions, Anonymous comes running downstairs.
>Great, what's that drunken idiot up to this time?
>You let him stay here only out of your hospitality towards interdimensional sentient creatures, but the amount of trouble he's caused in the course of his stay (for example, attempting to brew alcohol in your kitchen and ending up with third degree burns on his face and ruining one of your pots) is always making you consider kicking him out.
>"Purple pony! Zhere is baht in house!"
"What?"
>"No fear. I get broom. Get rid of baht double-quick."
"Wait, what're you doing?"
>He heads over to the closet and gets out a broom, then rushes back upstairs.
>What follows is a series of loud bangs and crashes.
>Slamming your book shut, you head up after him.
>"Stupid baht!"
>Anon swings his mighty broom like a war axe, but only hits air, or worse, your prized possesions.
>He knocks over the collection of books above your bed and a small flower pot and almost cracks the glass on your favorite photo of you and your friends.
"Celestia, Anon, stop! It's just a bat."
>He lunges at the nocturnal creature again
>"No is 'just baht'. Has legs and face!"
"Yes, Anon, bats have legs and faces!"
>"No, human legs and human face!"
>Now he's just talking crazy.
>Suddenly he stops striking with the broom.
>"Where go?"
>The bat's behind him, and, in its fear of being squashed, most likely, it bumps into the back of Anon's head.
>"Aah!"
>He runs downstairs, the bat following.
>"Dirty, filthy rodent!"
>Whack, whack, whack, smack, thud.
>You head downstairs.
>Anon is breathing heavily, standing over the felled bat.
>"There. Is dead."