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Zark becomes Bowser

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Jul 1st, 2011
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  1. [SO HEADSHOT TOLD ZARKANORF ABOUT THIS GIRL HE LIKES AND SHOWS ZARK PICS]
  2. Zarkanorf says
  3. • ...
  4. • Damn it, man; don't make me come over there and steal her Bowser-style.
  5. HeadShot XL says
  6. • I dare you
  7. Zarkanorf says
  8. • brb plotting with minions
  9. HeadShot XL says
  10. • kk
  11. Zarkanorf says
  12. • okay, so we've got a rough draft
  13. • Pretty much, we're going to take every single Mario game ever that involved kidnapping and wrap it all into one plan
  14. HeadShot XL says
  15. • Okay
  16. • I await that
  17. Zarkanorf says
  18. • So first I'm gonna need you to put on this bucket while I spawn nine children, make a huge fleet of warships from both the air and sea, conquer this galaxy
  19. • Then I'm going to get the mirror image of you if you were fat and greedy to take over your hometown thrice over, morphing it into his own image and shit
  20. • while stealing your treasures
  21. • and controlling you while you got that bucket on your head
  22. • MEANWHILE, I'mma gonna cover the world in delicious evil paint and sludge while capturing all of the stars and the Star Rod and every fucking else that gives omnipotent powers
  23. • and then get one of my sons to both wear a bandana while being you in evil-paint-form
  24. • and the other eight siblings I'm going to forget about for ten years before stuffing them in...
  25. • wait, lemme count. one, two...
  26. • four castles, each.
  27. • while I WILL FORCE YOU TO GO THROUGH
  28. • IN A LINEAR-BUT-SOMETIMES-NOT-REALLY PATH
  29. • BEFORE YOU GET TO THE MOON ZONE
  30. • which then
  31. • I will have conquered the galaxy by then and force you to traverse a shit-load of planets and astroids and shit
  32. • which then leads you to my AWESOME PLANET MADE OF LAVA, MOTHERFUCKER, CUZ THAT'S HOW DOPE PIMP I AM
  33. • AND THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN you'll fight me
  34. • but it won't be me
  35. • it'll be a robotic version of my
  36. • me**
  37. • controlled by four obnoxious, turtle power-ranger rip-offs
  38. • AND THEEEEEEEEEEEEEN they'll tell you that I'm in another galaxy (which I would've conquered by then)
  39. • AND THEN YOU WOULD HAVE TO TRAVERSE THROUGH SEVEN MORE HUGE GALAXIES BEFORE YOU REACH THE LAST ONE
  40. • which is pretty much hell in space
  41. • LIKE LOTS OF HELL
  42. • FIRE AND LAVA AND FIRE AND WARSHIPS AND FIRE AND FIRE AND STARS AND FIRE
  43. • IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
  44. • and if you somehow magically pass that
  45. • you'll face me
  46. • on a bridge
  47. • with bombs around it
  48. • and you'll have to take an axe, hit me on my backside, swing me around with the axe still in me, and then throw me into bombs
  49. • and you'll have to do that three times
  50. HeadShot XL says
  51. • I get the picture
  52. Zarkanorf says
  53. • WHY DID YOU LET ME TYPE SO MUCH BEFORE INTERRUPTING
  54. • I was having trouble remembering all the games at once. XD
  55. • and now my fingers hurt. :c
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