* Jouji SO WHERE ARE WE, MOST BELOVED IDOL IN THE WORLD?
* Nyaruko A DARK ROAD LATE AT NIGHT, WHAT YOU EVEN DOING HERE YOUNG MAN
* Jouji slumming it like a punk, since my older sister is out of town and I NEED to unwind. So I'm doing bird watching and drinking an energy drink. In Black Clothes.
* Nyaruko COOL! Birds sure are neat, hanging out in trees or on poles and stuff, like silver haired girls in elaborate dresses.
* Nyaruko which is perfectly normal, to see a girl suddenly directly next to the birds you were watching. Dunno why I'm even mentioning it
* Jouji ... stares
* Jouji incredulously
* Nyaruko stares right back, then grins and leaps from the branch, landing a scant few feet from Jouji. "I decided! You'll be my next subscriber!"
<Jouji> ...
<Jouji> Sub. Scriber?
<Nyaruko> Subscriber!
<Jouji> Who are you.
<Nyaruko> The Great Net Idol, Nyaruko!
* Nyaruko strikes a pose and winks. a star comes out of her eye, like in anime. but in real life. that's normal, don't worry about it.
<Jouji> Oh, you're that new idol with the poor forced media campaign
<Nyaruko> Huff! How dare you! Everyone's talking about me of their own free will, I haven't paid a single yen on any kind of media campaign.
<Jouji> Except alot of your surrogates sound like they're forced based on what I've observed, so there's some charleton act involved.
<Nyaruko> Huff twice! You don't know what you're talking about. I'll show you that everyone is fawning over me naturally, without any tricks!
* Jouji puts away his observation book and loads up a Black Duel Disk with a Crimson Laser Tray.
* Nyaruko holds her arm out and her ahoge... stretches out? and slithers down her dress to retrieve her duel disk, placing it on and activating it entirely hands free. Idols these days have crazy special effects.
* Jouji ...
* Nyaruko taps a button on her duel disk and it projects a big holographic screen of her stream. She blows it a kiss and comments flood in. disgusting.
* Jouji just stares at you blankly.
* Jouji well yes, as I'm not particularly interested in women.
<Nyaruko> I'll take the first turn! DUEL! (8000 LP)
<Nyaruko> Spell Card, Eldritch Idol Scouting! This lets me add one Eldritch Idol monster from my deck to my hand! I add Eldritch Idol Shantak! And then, using it and Eldritch Idol Mi-Go, I set the Pendulum Scale! (2<->8)
<Nyaruko> Pendulum Summon! Eldritch Idol Shoggoth! (2200 ATK 7*)
<Nyaruko> Turn End~!
* Jouji steps back.
<Jouji> Draw.
<Jouji> Raidraptor - Vanishing Lanius (1300 ATK)
<Jouji> Once per turn, during my Main Phase, I can Special Summon a Level 4 or lower Raidraptor from my hand! Vanishing Mirage! Special Summon Raidraptor - Tribute Lanius
<Jouji> During a Main Phase of a Turn in which Tribute Lanius was Summoned
<Jouji> I can send 1 Raidraptor card from my Deck to my Graveyard
<Jouji> To which I send Mimicry Lanius
<Jouji> I Overlay Vanishing Lanius and Tribute Lanius!
<Jouji> Supreme Musketeer of the Aerial Forces, descend from the Sky and remove all who stand before the kingdom!
<Jouji> Castel, the Skyblaster Musketeer!
<Jouji> Castel detaches both of his Xyz Material to return your Mi-Go to the Deck!
* Nyaruko huffs for a third time as her pendulum scale is broken. How rude.
<Jouji> Since I control an Xyz Monster, I can Special Summon Raidraptor - Singing Lanius from my hand (100 DEF)
<Jouji> And then activate Swallow's Nest!
<Jouji> Letting me Tribute Singing Lanius to Special Summon a Winged Beast-Type monster from my Deck of the same Level!
<Jouji> Blackwing - Kris the Crack of Dawn! (1900 ATK)
<Jouji> And since I control a Blackwing Monster, I can Special Summon Gale the Whirlwind from my hand (1300 ATK)
<Nyaruko> Woooow. That's an excessive amount of birds!
<Jouji> Gale the Whirlwind, halve the attack of Shoggoth!
* Jouji the boid swipes by Shoggoth tormenting and harassing her and pecking her
<Nyaruko> *Shoggoth-chan does not appreciate this one bit. (1100 ATK)*
<Jouji> Gale and Kris Tune together! Jet black wings, make noise in the torrential rains! And attack as fast as lightning!
<Jouji> Assault Blackwing - Chidori the Rain Sprinkling! (2600 ATK)
<Jouji> Chidori gains 300 ATK for each Blackwing in my Graveyard!
<Jouji> (3200 ATK)
<Jouji> Castel, attack Shoggoth!
* Nyaruko frowns as Shoggoth is shot all the way to the Extra Deck. (7100 LP)
<Jouji> Chidori, Thunder Special Technique: Lightning Slash!
* Nyaruko jesus christ birds. (3900 LP)
<Jouji> Turn End.
* Jouji has two boids and no back row and 1 card in hand.
<Nyaruko> Not bad! Draw!
<Nyaruko> I set one card and activate the Field Spell, Dreamland!
* Nyaruko snaps her finger as the area shimmers and fades away, replaced by a... stage?
* Nyaruko an aggressively large stage in a stadium that has seats that stretch into the sky, each seat occupied by some lovecraftian horror. They're waving glowsticks in their tentacles and other appendages.
<Nyaruko> Turn End! 'cause there's an Xyz monster on the field, during my end phase, I destroy the monster on the field with the highest level!
<Nyaruko> *The crowd launches into a sanity wrenching chorus of boos as the floor opens up underneath Chidori and swallows it whole.*
<Jouji> ...
<Jouji> What
<Nyaruko> What?
* Jouji his monster explodes into glass
<Nyaruko> Have you never seen someone activate Dreamland?
<Jouji> No, because it's not used in tournament relevant Decks
<Jouji> Grgh, and since I have no Winged Beast-Type Synchro besides Chidori, I get nothing.
<Jouji> Draw.
<Nyaruko> Oh woooow, are you a tourney player? That's impressive! You're the second one I've dueled here in Domino!
<Jouji> I was trained for that, yes.
<Jouji> Mimicry Lanius is banished.
<Jouji> From my Graveyard, letting me add...
<Jouji> Sharp Lanius
<Jouji> I Normal Summon it
<Jouji> (1700 ATK)
<Jouji> And from my hand, Fuzzy Lanius!
<Jouji> (1500 DEF)
<Jouji> Overlay, Fuzzy Lanius! Sharp Lanius!
<Jouji> Raidraptro - Force Strix! (2000 DEF)
<Jouji> Since I control Castel, Force Strix gains 500 DEF (2500 DEF)
<Jouji> I detach Fuzzy Lanius adding it and Blackwing - Decay the Ill Wind, due to Lanius and Strix's effects.
<Jouji> Castel, attack her directly!
<Nyaruko> (1900 LP)
<Jouji> You're just another one of those two bit hack idols that doesn't know how to Duel.
<Jouji> It's embarassing really.
<Jouji> Turn End.
<Jouji> Not one of you is like my sister when she as at her prime, just a bunch of two bit fakes that don't even like Dueling.
<Jouji> Doing it as a quick cash in blue ocean market.
<Nyaruko> Big words for a little boy. Draw! I summon the Tuner Pendulum Monster, Eldritch Idol Older Sister! (1200 ATK 3*)
<Jouji> I'm not a little boy.
<Nyaruko> Then I open my set trap! Pendulum Reborn! From my Extra Deck, I revive Eldritch Idol Shoggoth! (2600 ATK 7*) Eldritch Idol Shoggoth's effect! When Normal or Special Summoned, I can target one Attack Position monster my opponent controls and change it to defense position! I change your Castel to defense!
<Jouji> What's the point of that. Castel is now a 1500 Defense wall. No one uses Piercing effects these days.
<Nyaruko> Then, I activate the effect of the Eldritch Idol Shantak in my Pendulum Zone! I target one monster on the field, and by destroying this card, I can decrease that monster's level by up to three! I reduce Older Sister to level one!
<Nyaruko> TUNING! Elder Sister of the Idol Unit, guide this Fungi of Yuggoth to a new god! SYNCHRO SUMMON! (1+7=8) Eldritch Idol, THE FACELESS GOD! (2700 ATK 8*)
<Nyaruko> *That's a faceless sphinx girl. weird.*]
<Nyaruko> When The Faceless God is Synchro Summoned, I can target one monster my opponent controls with a level or rank lower than hers, and return it to the hand! I send your Force Strix back to your extra deck!
<Nyaruko> And her second effect is, well... she deals piercing damage~!
<Jouji> ...
<Jouji> ...
<Jouji> WHAT
* Jouji holds his head frustrated beyond belief
<Nyaruko> BATTLE! The Faceless God attacks Castel! And when she does, I activate the quick-play spell Eldritch Idol Spotlight from my hand! If an "Idol" monster I control is battling an opponent's monster with a level or rank lower than hers, she gains 500 attack per the difference in levels! (500x4=2000. 2700+2000=4700 ATK)
* Nyaruko just grins and strikes a pose for the camera. Her subscriber count dings up. "Shoutout to NeverDeadPhoenix for subscribing~!"
* Jouji 'Who'. What.
* Jouji stepps back as Faceless God attacks
<Nyaruko> Sheeeesh, what is wrong with people in here. How does nobody know how streaming works? If people subscribe you need to call out their name so they know it's worth it!
<Jouji> I don't watch streams.
<Nyaruko> *The Faceless God slides up to Castel and whispers indecipherable riddles into his ear, and then makes a moe pose. It's too much for the poor bird.*
<Nyaruko> hufffff, what is WRONG with Domino!? Anyway, turn end!
<Jouji> It's A) A waste of time and B) I have no ti-- ::Castel's head pops like a party balloon:: me... ::Stares:: (8000 LP -> 4800 LP)
* Nyaruko just stands there innocently, because what was the problem with what just happened? Faceless God demurely steps back to Nyaruko's side of the field, brushing blood off her clothes.
<Jouji> Draw,
<Jouji> ...
<Jouji> Time to summon my favorite card.
<Jouji> First, to do so, I Normal Summon Blackwing - Decay the Ill Wind
<Jouji> (1000 ATK)
<Jouji> When it's Normal Summoned, I can target 1 Blackwing monster, and I target Deca itself, reducing his Level to 3 by reducing it by 1.
<Jouji> And then, I Special Summon Bora the Spear from my hand!
<Jouji> Tuning!
<Jouji> Wild Chief of the Black Birds of Thunder, come forth and tame the souls of the dead storms!
<Jouji> Synchro Summon!
<Jouji> My Ace Card, Blackwing Tamer - Obsidian Hawk Joe
<Jouji> (ATK 2600) ::A Native American in head dress and battle armor appears with a whip and wings.::
<Jouji> Once per turn, I can revive a Level 5 or higher Winged Beast-Type monster from my Graveyard!
<Jouji> Assault Blackwing - Chidori the Rain Sprinkling! (2600 ATK)
<Jouji> Chidori gains 300 ATK for each Blackwing in my Graveyard, and there's 4! (2600 ATK -> 3800 ATK)
<Jouji> Chidori, attack her Faceless God!
<Jouji> Lightning Slash!
* Jouji the bird darts at your Goddess Idol with his Katana, doing one of those cool Samurai slashing scenes where he dashes past and then clicks his blade.
<Nyaruko> I activate Eldritch Idol Spotlight from my graveyard!
<Nyaruko> By banishing this card from my graveyard, I target one "Idol" monster I control! It gains 300 attack equal to the levels and ranks of monsters I control! (300x8=2400)
<Jouji> WHAT!?
* Jouji so what's your ATK now
<Nyaruko> *Faceless God falls to her knees, blood gushing from her. Then a Spotlight shines down on her, and everything about her freezes, then rewinds like a VCR, and she's good as new. Chidori, however, has found himself with wounds that matched Faceless God's old ones. (5100 ATK)*
<Jouji> (3500 LP)
* Jouji looks horrified and kind of fascinated.
<Jouji> Your Deck is so painfully simple and yet...
<Jouji> I Set 1 card and end my turn.
<Nyaruko> Oh, well, I guess it's just luck. After all, I'm just a two bit fake that doesn't even like dueling~?
<Nyaruko> Draw!
<Jouji> That was my intial observation.
<Nyaruko> (field check?)
* Jouji Hawk Joe (2600 ATK) and 1 Set Card
<Nyaruko> Spell Card! Mind Control!
<Jouji> ?!
<Nyaruko> Your Tamer's awfully good at passing the buck, but nobody's around to help him~!
<Jouji> Reverse Card Open!
<Jouji> Call of the Haunted! Chidori revives!
* Jouji lets you grab Hawk Joe bitterly as his monster stands ready (2600 ATK -> 3800 ATK)
<Nyaruko> awww. Well, guess I'll just have to do this
<Nyaruko> *and "something" is... have her ahoge push a big rewind button that materialized in space? That's actually weird, you might think, for a moment before time runs backwards to the start of her turn.*
<Nyaruko> Spell Card! Pot of Cupidity! I banish the top ten cards of my deck to draw two cards!
* Jouji blinks looking at his hands.
* Jouji what just happened
<Nyaruko> Spell Card! Mind Control! I targer your Hawk Joe~!
<Jouji> ??
<Jouji> Reverse Card Open!
<Jouji> Call of the Haunted! Chidori revives!
* Jouji his monster stands ready in counter with 3800 Attack
<Nyaruko> I set my scale 8 Eldritch Idol Shoggoth, then activate it's effect! I destroy it to increase your Hawk Joe to level eight!
<Jouji> ?!
<Nyaruko> Now, with my two level eight Synchro Monsters... I'm building the Overlay Network!
* Jouji growls
<Nyaruko> Faceless God, Tamer of Hawks! Make way for our main act, crawling on stage now!
<Nyaruko> Known by many names, she'll win your heart in an instant! XYZ SUMMON! Rank eight! Outer Idol Nyarlathotep! (2600 ATK R8)
<Nyaruko> *Oh hey it's... the person your dueling? A twin? She's probably just cosplaying as her ace monster.*
* Jouji ...
* Jouji tilts head
<Nyaruko> *DEF, not attack
<Jouji> 2600 DEF?
<Nyaruko> Nyarlathotep gains 1000 attack for every xyz material she has, so sadly not enough to deal with your Chidori.
* Jouji I do have to admit some interest in the cosplay dedication.
<Nyaruko> So instead let's bring Chidori on to my side~!
<Jouji> ....
<Jouji> What.
<Nyaruko> Nyarlathotep's effect! By detatching two xyz material, I can target one monster my opponent controls with a level or rank lower than Nyarlathotep's, and take control of it!
* Jouji stunned, that that's happpened twice in the same turn.
<Nyaruko> *The two xyz material pop and monster-nyaruko grins, her ahoge extending across the field in an instant to slide into Chidori's ear, and do unspeakable things that convince it to join the side of idols*
* Jouji but does Chidori get to wear an idol outfit and his own microphone?
<Nyaruko> *Yes. of course.*
<Nyaruko> I don't have any Blackwings in my graveyard, so he'll only have 2600 attack. But you won't enjoy having that hit you directly anyway~
<Nyaruko> Battle!
<Nyaruko> Chidori attacks you directly!
<Nyaruko> LIGHTNING SLASH!
<Jouji> I'll still have... Life Points.
<Jouji> (900 LP) ::SLashed sent sliding back down the road, coughing, rubbing the area struck sorely.
<Nyaruko> turn end! Due to dreamland's effect, Chidori is destroyed. He did a good job, though~!
<Jouji> Tch...
<Jouji> Draw.
<Jouji> Normal Summon!
<Jouji> Vanishing Lanius! (1300 ATK) And with its effect, I Special Summon Fuzzy Lanius from my hand, by passing Fuzzy's restriction!
<Jouji> OVERLAY! Frozen Beast of the Northern Wind! Blow your wind on the world with the birth of a new ice age!
<Jouji> Ice Beast Zerofyne! (2000 ATK)
<Jouji> Once per turn, I can negate the effects of all cards you control by detaching 1 Xyz Material, and then gain 300 ATK for each face-up card on the field besides itself!
<Jouji> (2600 ATK)
<Jouji> These effects last until my turn's next Standby Phase.
<Jouji> End Turn.
<Nyaruko> Draw!
<Nyaruko> Hmm... not much to do with you cancelling the show like that.
<Nyaruko> turn end~!
<Jouji> Draw.
* Jouji ... this is the only chance I have of getting rid of her ace, but I won't be able to beat her
<Jouji> Blackwing - Oroshi the Squall (400 ATK)
<Jouji> Zerofyne seals your show again!
<Jouji> By detaching Fuzzy Lanius, I add the third copy to my hand and with Oroshi, Zerofyne is at 2900 Attack.
<Jouji> ZEROFYNE, Ice Ray!
* Nyaruko huffs as her twin shatters into an uncountable number of shards of ice
<Jouji> Oroshi, peck at her!
* Jouji PECK PECK PECK PECK PECK
* Nyaruko THIS WAS LESS AWFUL WHEN IT HAPPENED TO KUROSAKI WHAT THE HELL BIRDS ARE THE WORST (1500 LP)
<Jouji> I end my turn.
<Nyaruko> Draw!
<Nyaruko> You put up a pretty good fight, little bird boy!
<Jouji> Put up a good fight? I think you're the one with depleted resources.
<Nyaruko> oh really?
<Jouji> I'm not a little boy, though, but I have to admit you were more impressive than I expected
<Nyaruko> silly little bird boy.
<Nyaruko> I set the Pendulum Scale!
<Nyaruko> With my Scale 2 Shantak and scale 8 Ghul!
<Nyaruko> Swing, pendulum of madness! Draw a wave of insanity across the human psyche!
<Nyaruko> PENDULUM SUMMON! Appear, my servants! Eldritch Idol Shantak (2600 ATK 7*) Elder Sister (1200 ATK 3*) and both Shoggoths! (2200 ATK 7*)
<Jouji> Last minute turn about!?
* Jouji steps back
<Nyaruko> This is my stage!
<Nyaruko> Ever since the first turn, everything's gone according to my plan!
<Nyaruko> My Shoggoth's effects activate! I change your Zerofyne and Oroshi to defense position!
<Jouji> !?
* Jouji Piercing Again!?
<Nyaruko> That's riiiight~!
<Nyaruko> I didn't mention before, but Shoggoth deals piercing damage too!
<Nyaruko> BATTLE!
<Jouji> ... Frick.
<Nyaruko> Shoggoth attacks Oroshi~!
* Jouji game ending damage, right?
* Nyaruko yup
* Nyaruko 2200 atk vs 600 def
* Jouji yelps as the idol destroys his monster, sending him flying back (0 LP)
* Jouji lying on his back., eyes up to the sky.
<Jouji> ... Huh, I guess sometimes simple is best.
<Nyaruko> Sure is~!
* Nyaruko skips up to your prone body. As you stare at the sky, you notice that the field spell is... not fading away.
<Jouji> ...?
<Nyaruko> *In fact it seems more real than ever before. the lovecraftian entity's cheers ring louder in your ear, the stage feels cold and... oddly textured, like nothing you've ever felt on Earth.*
<Nyaruko> Anyway~! Like I said, I'm gonna make you one of my subscribers.
* Jouji this is even more intensified than the safetyless mode on a Duel Disks, isn't it
<Jouji> ...
<Jouji> I was considering it.
<Jouji> If only to make sure you're the real thing.
* Nyaruko smiles down at you. it extends far past her mouth, far past any limit on flesh movement the human face has.
* Jouji stare.
<Nyaruko> That's good~! It only costs 300 yen, and just a tiny little piece of your soul and sanity. <3
* Nyaruko somehow pronounced a heart emoji. but before you have time to process that, her individual strands of her ahoge grow out, and out, and out, and oh jesus christ she's got hundreds of tentacles growing out of her hair now
<Jouji> What.
<Jouji> I'll pay the fee, I'll pay the fee
* Jouji waves his hands panicking
<Jouji> There's no need to get violent or hit me!
<Nyaruko> Violent? Hit you? Silly, I'd never do anything like that.
* Nyaruko grins as her tentacles slide across Jouji's body. they are very gentle, but also you can feel that a single one of them would snap you entirely in half if it felt like it. Also, some of them are getting dangerously close to your ears. "You remember when Outer Idol Nyarlathotep took control of Chidori~?"
<Jouji> Pleasedon'thitmemomPleasedon'thitmemomPleasedon'thitmemomPleasedon'thitmemomPleasedon'thitmemomPleasedon'thitmemomPleasedon'thitmemomPleasedon'thitmemomPleasedon'thitmemomPleasedon'thitmemom
* Nyaruko blinks.
<Nyaruko> ...
* Jouji panicking and screaming internally and madness mantra-ing
<Nyaruko> wow, that took the fun out of it. I don't deal in trauma!
* Nyaruko sighs as her tentacles slither into Jouji's ear, and... he wakes up where this all started, with no memory of anything past the duel ending. But That's okay, who cares? The duel was super hype and Nyaruko is great, you should subscribe to her and tell all your friends to do that too!
* Jouji I WAS GONNA SUBSCRIBE ANYWAY.
* Nyaruko MOMMA NEEDS HER TENTACLE /SS/ DEAL WITH IT
<Nyaruko> That was a great duel~! I'll let you get back to your bird watching. I've got places to be now anyway~! Bye bye!
* Nyaruko waves, and steps behind a light pole. is now completely gone. it's fine, that's normal.