Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- A letter I would write to my ex:
- Hey
- So just a quick overview of everything we went through together:
- When I met you, you had a history of bad relationships, including beating, rape and just generally being used, and you deserved none of it because you're so fucking loveable.
- This brought on voices in your head which push you toward suicide for the last three years of your life. I was one of very few people who knew about them, and they didn't bother me. I saw you for you, with or without a mental illness.
- I kept saying I would always be here for you, and that's what I did.
- Twp days ago was a month together, and you didn't usually write your feelings anywhere or express them well, and I was always paranoid that you'd lose love for me, but you told me how strongly you felt and said that the voices left because I kept trying for you. I cured a three-year mental illness with just my love.
- That night we got drunk together at your friend's house and I went home the next day.
- Yesterday you were ignoring me. Reading my messages but never replying. I left you with a "goodnight and I love you".
- Today you finally text me back, and told me that you just see me as a friend now, and you lost all your feelings for me because, on Friday night, I did something that "even your ex's wouldn't do" and it fucking disgusted me to be compared to any of them, but you said I took advantage of you when we were both really drunk. We've had full intercourse before, and we didn't even do that on Friday.
- Now I feel guilty as fuck. Like just another scumbag on your list of bad choices.
- It's now 8pm and I've not stopped thinking about you. I recently got back in from walking a few miles without a purpose. I don't know what to do with myself. We dated for a month, but it's still weird to lose something that you concentrate on all day and night. Literally the only thing that makes the happy is you, and you said that I was your source of happiness, but I guess you don't need me anymore.
- I messaged you a few minutes ago, and I said “I hate myself for messaging you again but don’t hesitate to message me if you feel down or alone or if you ever change your mind”.
- I'm probably blocked but it's worth a try.
- I left a £2 coin in your bag on Saturday, wrapped in a note that said “thank you for the coffee” (because you paid for it last time I saw you) and it said “p.s. I love you” and I’m really hoping that might save us if you haven’t seen it already.
- My phone will be under my pillow, full volume, all night. Just like it used to be when I was waiting for you. Now I’m doing it all over again.
- I hope you realise soon that I'm not as bad as you think right now, and you'll call me and tell me you're sorry, and I'll be waiting for it and I will cry if/when I get it.
- I love you,
- Charlie
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement