Donkey DIK Kicker for ComputerCraft

forePlay = {false,false}
blowLoad=false
kicks=0
slot=1
outSide="none"
term.setBackgroundColor(colors.brown)
term.clear()

function donkeyDIK(DIK)
  local x,y = term.getSize()
  local yy = y/2
  local xx = (x-string.len(DIK))/2
  term.setCursorPos(xx,yy)
end
function deepThroatDIK(DIK)
  local x,y = term.getSize()
  local yy = y/2
  local xx = (x-string.len(DIK))/2
  term.setCursorPos(xx,yy+1)
end

local splash="This is DK - Donkey Dik"
donkeyDIK(splash)
textutils.slowWrite(splash,20)
sleep(1)
local splash2="Program by Nick"
deepThroatDIK(splash2)
textutils.slowWrite(splash2,30)
sleep(1)
term.clear()

function ImNotMovingThis()
local expandDong="Please spread your legs to begin."
donkeyDIK(expandDong)
textutils.slowWrite(expandDong,25)
end

repeat
local askDong = "Want me to face you?"
donkeyDIK(askDong)
textutils.slowWrite(askDong,20)

local answerDong = "Y/N"
deepThroatDIK(answerDong)
textutils.slowWrite(answerDong,10)

local event, key = os.pullEvent("char")

if key == "y" then
local i=0
for i=1,2,1 do
  turtle.turnRight()
  if i==2 then
    forePlay[1]=true
    term.clear()
  end
end
elseif key == "n" then
forePlay[1]=true
term.clear()
end



until forePlay[1] ==true

repeat
local askDong2 = "Output items to top or bottom?"
donkeyDIK(askDong2)
textutils.slowWrite(askDong2,20)

local answerDong2 = "T/B/N"
deepThroatDIK(answerDong2)
textutils.slowWrite(answerDong2,10)

local event, key = os.pullEvent("char")
if key == "t" then
  blowLoad=true
  outSide="top"
  forePlay[2]=true
  term.clear()
elseif key == "b" then
  blowLoad=true
  outSide="bottom"
  forePlay[2]=true
  term.clear()
elseif key == "n" then
  blowLoad=false
  outSide="none"
  forePlay[2]=true
  term.clear()
end

until forePlay[2] == true

ImNotMovingThis()


if forePlay[1] == true and forePlay[2] == true then
while true do

if turtle.attack() == true then
  kicks=kicks+1
  local DIKount = "DIKs kicked: "..tostring(kicks)

  term.clear()
  deepThroatDIK(DIKount)
  write(DIKount)

  if kicks == 69 then
    local SixtyNineingChildren="Donkey Dik is Pleased!"
    donkeyDIK(SixtyNineingChildren)
    textutils.slowWrite(SixtyNineingChildren,25)
  end
end

if blowLoad==true then

  local outTxt = "Outputting to "..outSide
  local width,height = term.getSize()
  local xLoc = (width-string.len(outTxt))/2

  if outSide=="bottom" then yLoc=height
    else yLoc=1
  end

  term.setCursorPos(xLoc,yLoc)
  write(outTxt)

  if outSide=="bottom" then
    turtle.dropDown()
  elseif outSide=="top" then
    turtle.dropUp()
  end
  if slot == 16 then
    slot = 1
  else
    slot = slot+1
  end
    turtle.select(slot)
end

sleep(1)
end
end