Hey josh. Our last year of high school is coming to an end. It's definitely not how I had imagined it would be, but it's done nonetheless. I'm pretty excited to get a fresh start in a new place, and with any luck you are too.

I guess I just don't want to end the year on a bad note with anyone. I can only assume that the choice you made to stop talking to me was because you feel that I'm not a positive influence on your life. I can't really argue with that, but it's definitely disappointing. Still, as much as I disagree with how you've gone about it, I still have to respect your choice. I don't know if Soumithri/ilia persuaded you to or something, or if it really just was my behavior that you didn't like. At the rate we're going, I'll probably never know exactly what caused this.

Going off of the assumption that we never fix this, I just want to thank you for the time we did have as friends. I know I've said it a lot, but I really did look up to you. In a lot of ways, you were exactly who I wanted to be. To me, you were always the friend from fantasy stories, the one who never wavers and always has the best intentions. I really loved how you would go out of your way to be nice to everyone, never talk bad about them or put them down, something I'm definitely guilty of doing sometimes.

I won't forget the nights I'd spend curled up in bed, wishing for nothing more but to dissolve into oblivion, and having you make me feel better by just being there to chat.

Those nights were too common, and I can't blame you for resenting them or growing tired of them. But you made a huge difference.

I loved Alex, I really did, and losing him took a part of me away. But even that didn't compare to how much I valued your friendship.
And I know it tends to be lopsided with me. I get attached to people who don't feel the same way, it's just my thing I guess. I can understand why I probably didn't mean as much to you. I find it hard to be useful in the same way you were to me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is thanks. I've given up on coming to a resolution with you. I can see you avoid my glance when we're in the same room. I notice when you talk around me as though I'm not there. That hurts, it really does. But I know you well enough to know that you must have your own reasons for it.

I'm barely expecting a response to this wall of text as it is. I really think that the way you're going about this is flawed. If you wanted to end things you should have just told me, in person.

I wish I could go back and do things differently, I really do. But I can't, and I've come to move on. I don't need you anymore. I don't need Alex, I don't need anyone. It took a while to realize how many nice people I know. I've made new friendships and strengthened old ones, I've gone out and met new people and done things I would have been too afraid to do before. I guess the Phoenix finally emerged from the ashes, even if it took a while.

I'd love for you to be a part of my future, but I can't change your mind or undo the things I did to cause this. So, thanks for everything man. If you ever change your mind you know where to find me.

Good luck Josh, you've got an awesome life ahead of you, I can tell.

~Quinn