LtD 80-82

>>Chapter 80 - Part 6
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> "Come and get it! It's a running buffet! […] All you can fuck!" The crowd grew larger as more and more stallions began to come out of buildings.
It’s a good thing there are no stallions close to Lancy, otherwise this sacrifice thing would have been short lived.
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> [Damn! There must be at least two hundred of them behind us... RUN LIKE A FUCKING CHEETAH LANCE!]
Hold on. Annabel took their wings and horns, but did she take Lancy’s ability to go into Breaking Dawn mode?
I doubt that’s the case, so why isn’t Lancy Breaking-Dawning those thousands of innocent stallions into oblivion?
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> Oh God, I'm going to be sick... why didn't I make Zorrow do this?!
I am surprised you did something selfless, as well.
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> I ran up to the tall, eight foot wall and turned. The stallions were just now getting to the entrance to the alley.
Why, exactly did you run into an alley?
Also, if Aaron was already raped by Vinyl, then he must have already gotten out. Is he going to tell someone?
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> I galloped towards it and jumped on the wall to the left, I then pushed off, landing on the right wall. I pushed off that wall and grasped for the edge of the middle wall.
Ha! All of Lance’s hours and hours of intensive parkour training have finally paid off.
Wazzat? He never did anything like this in other chapters?
Well, that’s just too bad.
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> I laughed loudly and jumped onto the other side of the wall […] and then my smile faded as I saw a group of stallions looking at me.
Boy, I wonder if Lancy will manage to escape.
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> "He's not coming back! Its been a full hour Vine! Face it, he's a stallions play thing now!" Seth said as he faced Vinetion.
Seth is displaying common sense, and is taking a realistic approach to the subject.
So, obviously, he’s the bad guy and everyone will ignore what he says.



>>Chapter 80 - Part 7
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> Vinetion glared, "He's still out there Seth, and you know it!"
No, you don’t.
If the stallions got to him (and seeing the amount of them, that’s most likely the case) then he’s a goner and was sent back to Ponyville, in which case, he’s with Aaron and they’re telling everyone about what Annabel did.
Really, it’s in your best interests that Lancy was raped.
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> Seth shook his head, "Vine, you saw how many stallions were chasing him. There's no way he made it. Now, we have to barricade that last window..."
Crazy idea here.
Why don’t you barricade every window and door, and have someone on the lookout for Lancy? If you see him getting near, quickly take out some of the tables from a window, let him in, and then barricade again.
If everyone is alert and uses some force and speed, you won’t run into any trouble.
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> She stomped her hoof, "Listen! Lance is our friend and we're going to wait!"
“Even if it means recklessly endangering the rest of us!”
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> *A throat being cleared*
I know I’ve done this several times now, but it’s still as bothersome as the first time.
Write the god damned actions in prose, you numbskull. This isn’t a play, you can’t just insert actions between dialogues and be done with that.
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> Everyone looked at the bar to see Lance. He cleared his throat again and smiled, "Would anyone like... a peanut?"
You know, I’ve forgiven a lot of things. But don’t you dare drag “Shaun of the Dead” into this madness.



>>Chapter 81 - Part 1
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> Title: A chance to escape
Only a chance, though. Don’t think that we’re done exploring all the possibilities of this scenario.
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> "She did what?!" Twilight yelled after hearing Aaron's explanation on where Lance was.
She recycled the same plot device from thirty chapters ago. Insane, isn’t it?
Also, I’m glad Kickass222urmom made at least one of his characters make a reasonable decision, for once.
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> Aaron smiled awkwardly, "She turned us all into mares and sent us to a city full of horny stallions."
“Your answer implied I already told you that, but let’s repeat it for the readers, despite them being aware of it as well.”
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> After he had been 'raped' by Vinyl in stallion form
What do you mean “raped”? Was it or was it not rape?
Oh, right. I forgot ‘rape’ means the same as sex to Kickass222urmom.
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> The first thing he had done was go see Vinyl, for a little payback of his own
Sure, my friends are in danger, but what the hell; I’ll go have sex first.
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> "What city are they in?" Twilight asked, trying to stay calm.
Surely it must have been a remote and unimportant location, if news of its lockdown hasn’t reached us.
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> Twilight remained calm, "Okay, when will he back?"
Did Aaron tell you anything about what happened? What did he say, and why did he omit such crucial information?
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> Aaron gulped, "Well... Annabel said the only way to come back was: Survive a month, find a small golden key... or get raped."
With the rampant misogyny in this fic, a woman being pro-rape could be considered female empowerment?
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> "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to have a little talk with Annabel."
A verbal/magical smack down between Twilight and Annabel could be interesting to read.
Which is why we will likely skip it.



>>Chapter 81 - Part 2
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> "Come on Vine, you know you want this." I heard Greg say from across the room.
I maintain my theory that Greg wants to hook up with Vine just so Pinkie can come to beat the hell out of him and rescue them in the process.
I do so because I want to believe that there’s still something left of the old Greg inside of him.
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> “You must have some pretty messed up nightmares or something."
> [Greg] just laughed, "Nah, I wasn't having a nightmare. I was just hoofing myself all night, and using your back as towel."
No, he’s dead. Old Greg is dead.
There was never any hope.
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> I reached out for him but slowly stopped myself. Remember Lance, we don't kill our friends.
We just beat them to a partially breathing pulp.
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> I stood and exhaled loudly, "Dude, you're messed up."
“Kind of makes you wonder why we hang out with you.”
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> I looked to the sofa to see Seth hanging off it. Zorrow was on the floor next to the sofa, and had his forelegs wrapped around Seth's head.
With how close Zorrow and Seth are, I’m surprised that Kickass222urmom has managed to keep their friendship as such and hasn’t made any insinuations about they being gay.
Yet.
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> Our laughs woke up the two sleeping beauties. (They're still females, so it makes since to say this.)
From this we can get that either males aren’t beautiful, or that Lance is uncomfortable with calling them that.
It’s most likely the second one.
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> Seth kicked a pillow, "So yeah... who's played football?"
Displays of affection makes us less of a man.
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> Two hours later, ground floor of the Sleeping Stallion Hotel
Why are you going between the ground floor and the eighth floor?
Wouldn’t it make more sense if you had all your supplies, water and food in a single place so you can leave quickly in case you have to?
It seems pretty pointless and counterproductive to so that.
Then again, I imagine it’s a way to make some cheap tension happen.



>>Chapter 81 - Part 3
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> <Shouldn't we all be rationing [the food]? We still need to survive a month here.>
Even though what you’re saying is technically true, Dawn, I think your first priority should be getting the key that would get you out of here.
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> "Who's up for a round of 'Truth or Dare'?"
Embarrassing each other will surely take our minds from our awful situation.
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> "Good, rules: No backing out of the dare, do not dare someone to get raped by a stallion, and no dares that require someone to leave the hotel. Got it?"
Sensitive rules that won’t put anyone in danger?
This is isn’t the “Living the Dream” I fell in hate with!
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> Peter sighed, "Wimp. Okay, uhh... Is it true that you [David] draw nude pictures of Lance and Twilight?"
They’re already nude all the time.
Saying nude pictures doesn’t carry a lot of weight.
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> I smirked, "I already knew that. I'll get you back later for all that."
“Given that this whole ordeal is partially my fault, you could say that we’re even, but that’s not happening.”
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> David smirked, "I dare you [Zorrow] to break that table with your head."
Yes. He does attempt to break the table with his head an fails miserably.
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> I laughed, "I guess its my turn then. Shadow, […] Is it true you like Fluttershy?"
“And that you’re completely unaware of the huge dragon that has had a crush on her since forever?”
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> Seth jumped up, "Whoa! Back down dude! She's mine!"
I just checked, Seth was introduced exactly fifty chapters ago.
Not once has he shown any kind of interest on Fluttershy, not even when Shadow showed obvious attraction to her back in the Resort.
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> He sat down heavily, "So, I'll get her soon."
She’s obviously waiting for me, it’s not as if women have personalities or lives beyond us, right?



>>Chapter 81 - Part 4
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> Shadow smiled, "May the best man win." He held his hoof out over the table.
I really hope that Kickass222urmom hasn’t mentioned Malbatorus is because he’s been too busy establishing his relationship with Fluttershy off-screen, and both Seth and Shadow are going to get a fireball to the face when they try to approach her.
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> Shadow smirked, "I dare you [Greg] [duh] to get off weed!"
But if you take the weed from Greg then he is only a raging douche and rapist.
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> *Thunderous boom*
Not even the Living-Verse can stand a Greg without weed.
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> "Bronies! Get up here!" Yelled an angry female voice.
Oh, Annabel came to the rescue! Apparently, Twilight managed to convince her to let them out.
What’s that? You wanted to see how Twilight managed to convince a draconequus to stop her plan?
Well, that’s just too bad.
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> "I have some bad news: Lance's wife, Twilight Sparkle, has forced me, and I mean forced me! To turn you all back into stallions."
Twilight forced Annabel to prevent the guys from getting forced?
Interesting…
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> “She didn't say I had to stop the game. So, that means all the stallions still see you as mares. Sucks for you!"
One would think that twilight would have asked to get them out of there as soon as possible, and then dealing with the gender issues.
Either that or Twilight is a closeted yaoi fangirl and wants his husband to be savagely raped by thousands of stallions.
Either way, this means that the first male on male sex scene in Living the Dream is going to be through rape.
There’re a lot of things that could be said, but I’ll let Kickass222urmom’s therapists deal with that in ten years.



>>Chapter 81 - Part 5
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> "But, she did make me have to you a means of escape. So, I've placed teleporter's all over the city, eight to be exact."
Tele—What happened to the key? The key that they were supposed to find to leave this place?
Aaron told Twilight about the key, she knew that the group needed it to leave the city, why in the name of hell didn’t she just tell Annabel to give them the key? Or at least tell them where it is?
Or better yet, just tell her to let them go, or Twilight will call in the Elements. Show any consideration towards your husband, damn it.
I know he doesn’t care, but he was already raped by a horse once and see how he turned out, what do you think a second time will do to him?
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> “Now, each teleporter's can only send one person back. Only one, so you'll all have to find one to get away from this place.“
Oh, I get it. She wants to split them and isolate them so their chances of getting raped increase.
It makes sense, since she’s another spirit of chaos, or whatever.
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> “The same rules from before remain, but this is just a added way to win."
Then your primary goal should still be finding the golden key while also looking for the teleporters, right?
Wait…
If Annabel has pulled teleporters out of literature’s corpse but still left the key around, does it mean that at some point one or more of the teleporters, probably Lance’s, will be destroyed, forcing him/them to look for the key?
That could be mildly interesting and carry some emotional distress, which is why I don’t think it’ll happen.



>>Chapter 81 - Part 6
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> “The first one is in the center of the city. Once there, you can send back one person. There will be a clue there that will hint to where the next one is."
Oh, you’re going to make them go on a “National Treasure” quest to find one teleporter after the other.
I… I guess that works too, but I still think splitting them would have been a more efficient way of dealing with them.
You know, telling them they have a determinate amount of time to get to the teleporters before they deactivate, forcing them to split and maybe fight against each other to get to the closest ones. Create disharmony between them, that kind of things
But hey, what do I know.
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> Peter smiled, "Yay! We're gonna make it!"
“Yay! I jinxed us!”
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> “Twilight wants Lance to have this." She pulled out my saddlebags and threw them to me.
“The rest of you can go to hell for all Twilight cares.”
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> "Be lucky you have a mare like her Lance. She's scary as hell when she's pissed."
> I chuckled, "Believe me, I know."
No you don’t. Twilight hasn’t expressed anything resembling a real emotion in all of this.
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> Greg groaned, "Oh come on! I wanted to stay a mare for a little longer!"
Why did you decrease my chances of getting raped by 33%?”
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> Inside [the saddlebag] was... a book... a book on running. Really Twi? She actually gave me a book on how to run the right way?
Well, she managed to finish a race with what she read on a book, so reading it may be useful.
Also, how sad it is that this is the closest that this Twilight has gotten to being “in-character”?
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> Zorrow sat up,rubbing his head, "What did she mean, 'we may want to get moving'?"
What do you think she meant, Zorrow? What do you think she meant?
I will let this slide because you probably have a concussion.
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> Vinetion, on the other hand, was walking towards Greg.
Yes. What you’re thinking actually happens.



>>Chapter 81 - Part 7
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> "Get back! AHHH! Hey, watch it jackass! AHH! That doesn't go there! Get that out of... NO NOT IN THE MOUT...."
Just imagine you’re Cheerilee, Greg.
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> My mouth hung open in shock. Poor Greg.
Eh… He had it coming.
At least this way he’ll go back to Ponyville and you’ll get an extra teleporter in case something happens.
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> "Dude, whats in the saddlebags?" Zorrow asked as he trotted up beside me.
> I sighed, "A book is in the left one."
What do you mean “the left one”? What about the right one?
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> I shrugged, "I have no idea.“
“Sure, it may have been an instant teleportation device, but I’ve already checked the left one. That’s enough proactivity for a day”
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> "Rope? What the hell are we going to do with a rope?"
Tie down any stallions that tries to attack you, use it to close a door, lasso something that is too far for you to get, hang onto something when you’re falling.
Should I keep going?
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> "I don't know. That's just Twilight logic for ya. A book and a rope."
“That’s just Lance logic for you. Refusing to think about the problem at hand.”
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> Nine minutes later... my math was wrong, okay?!
All of you is wrong.
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> We stood over the metal pressure plate, all confused.
I’d be confused too if I suddenly appeared over a pressure plate.
Why did Kickass222urmom had to fast forward up to the part where they already in the teleporter?
We didn’t even get to see how they found the damned thing, or if they had to evade any stallions to get there. It’s just zeepedy boom baw and they’re there.
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> I smiled at Shadow, "You're up dude."
Good, you’ve sent the guy that did nothing to you.
Next time could you send the mare that saved your life from a cannibal?
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> *DING*
> The sound of a loud dinging bell sounded as he was sent away.
Great, now get the clue and go away from there.
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> All around us, we could hear the yells of the stallions.
Damn, you better get the clue fast.



>>Chapter 81 - Part 8
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> David bit his lip, "We might want to run now."
You mean, after you get the clue. Right?
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> Peter nodded, "I agree."
Uh… Aren’t you forgetting the clue?
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> We all turned for the nearest alley and sprinted towards it.
That thing you need to find the next teleporter?
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> This gave us a chance to to the other end. I quickly took the lead and pushed forward.
Are they going to keep going around until Annabel comes and tells them the clue? Is that what’s happening?
That could only be more of a Deus Ex Machina if a crane got her down.
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> As we neared each other, I jumped to the side suddenly and hit the wall with my legs. I pushed off as hard as I could and twisted, slamming my hind leg into the stallions jaw.
> I landed on all fours and turned to face him. When he tried to stand, I charged forward and delivered a hard kick to the head, knocking him out.
This moment is as good as any to remind you that the stallions are riled up by hormones that are directly caused by Annabel and isn’t normal in them, and that they don’t have any inherent fault about their actions more than the mares do in their heat season.
That being said, continue beating them senseless.
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> I stood up and smiled, "This could be fun."
Mindless violence against innocents, yeah!
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> We was in a large warehouse for storing food.
Right, Kickass222urmom’s inability to conjugate verbs. It had completely slipped my mind.
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> "I'm going to try and take out those stallions, anyone want to help?"
> Vinetion nodded, "Yeah, I'm up for a little ass kicking."
Vine said that she wouldn’t hit mares, but had no trouble throwing Greg to the rabid stallions once he turned back into a male.
Has she considered that mayube some of those stallions she’s about to hit are actually some of the mares-turned-stallions that Annabel made?



>>Chapter 81 - Part 9
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> I smiled, "Anyone else?"
> The others shook their heads. Wimps. "Okay the, stay here."
They don’t have a protective protagonist shield, nor do they have “getting beaten up” as their special talent.
They just want to get out of here.
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> [That's... It can't be him!]
> {Graze?! What the hell?! He's suppose to have went back to his own dimension.}
Graze? That asshole is still here?
Why? His crossover is done, shoo him back into his awful self-insert universe.
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> Graze was running towards me, a crazy smile on his face.
I sincerely hope there’s not an Omnius around here…
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> <Okay, you know how Graze is a real pony right? Not a human.>
> I nodded, {Yeah, I know that.}
> <Now, since there are other dimensions, that means each has copies of the beings there. Meaning, Graze from that dimension has a copy here. This Graze is almost the same, but a little different in a few ways.>
Freaking quantum theory and and alternate dimensions…
If he’s different, does it mean that this Graze doesn’t have the stupid conscience things going on?



>>Chapter 81 - Part 10
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> {How can you tell?}
> <Because, I'm examining his consciences.>
Oh, come on! If this Graze also had this conscience bullspooge, then why did Celestia bring one from another dimension to train Lance?
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> I pulled out my rope, I know what I must do. I used the rope to tie his hooves together. First his front two, then his back.
So much for Twilight sending you useless things, huh?
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> Vinetion walked up, confused, "Umm, why are you doing that?"
Even if you don’t know who this is, do you really think it’s a bad idea to tie a stallion so he can’t move?
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> Tomorrow, I'm going to make sure I get everyone out of here. Even Graze.
Why Graze too?
He’s not in danger. Just get the hell out of Manehattan and then look for Graze once things have blown over.
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> Yep, that's right, after two weeks or so, I've finally added in Graze.
If he gets Omnius again for the next stupid subplot I will break something.
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> Also, none of you will ever guess the twist me and Killjoy have planned for his OC in this story :D
Let me guess. It will contain “awusumness!!! xD“



>>Chapter 82 - Part 1
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> Title: Stallions vs. Breaking Dawn
The fight none of you wanted to see: A bunch of hormone addled stallions against a trans-dimensional freak.
Only on FiMFiction!
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> Shit... I kinda got side tracked. So, I'm going to speed through some of this, sorry.
I can’t say I agree with your work ethic, Kickass222urmom.
Seeing that the final result is still horrible, just take your time with it and write it instead of forcing yourself to finish.
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> Shadow Breeze galloped down the streets of Ponyville. It had been three hours since he was teleported back to Ponyville, and he was now trying to get to Greg.
How considerate.
Since it’s already been established that nobody cares about Manehattan and the current state of its population, Shadow is doing the next most sensible thing and going to check on Greg.
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> He felt sorry for the poor guy. He must be traumatized.
Of course he is. After all, he’s just been brutally raped by hordes of stallions.
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> Greg would probably need a should to cry on. Some one to talk to.
Indeed, who could be well af—This is going to be another bait and switch, isn’t it?
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> On the other side, he saw nothing but blackness. So, he forced himself to walk in, braving the darkness.
Oh, he’s going to walk into Greg and Pinkie doing it. I can see Living the Dream is breaking new ground as usual.
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> Shadow's eyes went wide, and he felt the taste of bail in his mouth. This was sick!
Doggie style sex isn’t really sick. And if you take into consideration the kind of things that have been done in this fic, it’s somewhat bland.
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> Greg turned and smiled, "Wanna join?"
It seems that being raped didn’t even faze Greg. He’s taking it in stride.
Maybe he’s just that unaware of the things that happen around him due to all that weed.



>>Chapter 82 - Part 2
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> Once he was outside, he flew for the first cloud he could see.
> He curled up into the fetal position and began to rock, and began to repeat, "They're just wrestling... they're just wrestling..."
Greg is having se with his marefriend, is that really so hard to accept?
Sure, he should be an emotional wreck after being a cum bucket for a bunch of stallions in Manehattan; but I don’t think that’s what bothers Shadow.
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> "Be quiet!" I hissed
I tried for a full minute. There’s no way to hiss those words and still make a coherent sound.
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> David began to yell out in pain after stomping his hoof against the fire.
Why would you put out a fire with your bare hoof?
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> Vinetion picked up Graze and threw him over her back.
I find it interesting that, as misogynistic as Living the Dream is, Vinetion is the only one that is at least half competent and proactive.
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> "I don't know. I guess we'll try and find all the teleport's and get the hell out of here."
Are they “teleports” or “teleporters”?
Make up your mind.
Also, it would probably help you if you had gotten the clue that was supposed to be in the last one.
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> Peter smiled, "I know where it is. I read the clue. Its next to the community pool."
Well, isn’t that convenient.
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> Seth looked at him, "Looks like your little yell attracted them here."
If David’s yell of pain was enough to attract lots of stallions to the secluded warehouse, how comes you weren’t overrun by them at any point during your stay at the large hotel in the middle of Manehattan?
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> [*Clears throat* Breaking...]
<...Dawn.>
Don’t act so high and mighty, I’m sure you forgot too, otherwise you would have done that chapters ago and gotten out of here.
All of these last chapters have been nothing but padding an otherwise simple and straightforward conflict into a longer “arc”.