Rapio Kart

>As you're just standing in the park, minding your own business, something bumps into the back of your leg.
>You turn and look down to see Twilight riding in a tiny car she's moving by pushing her hind legs off the ground.
"What do you want?"
>She moves back a little and bumps into you again.
>"Race me."
>She then summons a bigger car next to you with her magic and motions over to it with her eyes.
>Move the car a bit further away from yourself.
"Nah, I'm good."
>Turn to walk away.
>"Oh alright. It's not like I was inviting you to a race for your virginity or something."
>Shake your head as you're walking.
"That's why I said no."
>"It's not just me who is in the race. Rainbow Dash is too."
>You stop and turn to her.
"...really?"
>She nods.
>Holy fuck.
>This can be your one and only chance to get with Rainbow.
>But on the off chance that you lose...
>You squint your eyes at the purple menace.
>Grab the car and nod to her.
"Let's fucking do this shit. Lead the way."
>She smiles and turns around in the car.
>"Follow me."

>You follow her to the other end of the park where the rest of the competitors are.
>There's Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Lyra and Bon Bon in one car, and Derpy.
>The two of you join them at the starting line.
>Discord appears to the side of the starting line.
>"You have to get all the way to the other side of the park. The first one there gets the grand prize."
>He reaches his arm into nothingness and it reappears next to you.
>He points his claw at you.
>"Which is this guy's pony virginity! If you don't want that, better get out now!"
>Lyra gasps.
>Twilight blushes.
>Fluttershy slowly climbs out of her car and pulls it away from the line.
>Discord's claw retracts from pointing at you and comes back to him.
>"One. Two. Three."
>His body explodes into the word 'GO'
>All of you take off scooting in these terribly designed cars.
>Okay Anon.
>All you have to do is make sure Rainbow wins.
>Which shouldn't be hard because she's already at the front.
>But so is Derpy...
>Twilight suddenly shoots off, trying to catch up to them.
>You speed up to try catching up to her.
>Bon Bon says something to Lyra, then Lyra starts glowing her horn.
>They approach Derpy and Bon Bon lifts Lyra up over her head.
>A bolt of magic strikes Derpy in the back.
>She shrieks and flies up into the air.
>The rest of you keep going, uncaring of where she lands.
>Rainbow Dash has a nice rainbow trail behind her as she pushes herself to the limit.
>Twilight seems to be using her magic to make the wheels on her car spin faster than they should be able to.
>A blast of magic nearly hits your car, drawing your attention to your left.
>Bon Bon charges up her Lyragun again by rubbing her crotch.
"HOW IS THIS FAIR?!"
>The bolt of magic whizzes past your head.
>Discord floats alongside you as you scoot as fast as you can.
>"In this race, you can use any means necessary to win."
>He disappears again.
>Any means huh?
>You suddenly slow yourself so that Lyra and Bon Bon go way further than you.
>Stand up in car.
>Remove car from body.
>Place car on head.
>You take off running on your feet and approach Lyra and Bon Bon's car quickly.
>Before they even notice you coming, you swing out your foot and hit the back of their car.
>This forces Bon Bon's hooves to get caught on the road and make her trip.
>Both of them go tumbling out of their car.
>You smile and keep running.
>Way up ahead, you see Rainbow and Twilight are now right next to each other.
>A purple glow can be seen around Rainbow's car.
>Twilight must be cheating somehow.
>You rush up ahead to get a better view.
>Once getting too close though, Twilight notices you.
>She flings Rainbow back at you and speeds up.
>You quickly grab Rainbow's car and place it back on the ground.
>She looks back at you as you hold the back of her car on the ground.
>"What are you doing?"
>You start running while pushing Rainbow's cart.
>She is confused, but eventually starts helping you go even faster.
>The finish line is no more than thirty feet away when you reach Twilight.
>Instead of trying to kick her, you just run even faster.
>The finish line rapidly approaches.
>You look back to see the desperation on Twilight's face so you can make fun of her later on.
>Except for some reason she doesn't look desperate.
>She looks confident.
>Too confident.
>You turn back around and see no traps anywhere.
>What the fuck is she so happy for?
>Suddenly something slams into the front of Rainbow's cart, making you fall forward over her and tumble to a halt just a few feet away from the finish line.
>Twilight rushes past you, hitting the finish line.
>You groan and roll over to see what hit you.
>Derpy sits there on top of Rainbow's car.
>She rubs her head.
>"I just don't know what went wrong..."
>You groan and turn around to see Twilight receiving a crown for winning.
>As well as a piece of paper.
>Discord smiles.
>"And here are the rights to control Anon."
>Twilight licks her lips at you.
>Fucking Equestria.