Lust, Lunacy and Larceny - Part 1

>Day night in Equestria
>You run between the two and houses down the alley
>An equine figure runs after you, screaming "Hey, get back here with those! They're mine!"
>You run around a tight corner
>The pony follows you, rounding the bend, but all he sees is an empty dead end
>You laugh as you look down at him from the roof, and slink off into the night
>You leap from rooftop to rooftop towards the edge of town
>The roofs are astoundingly low in Ponyville, so there's no real danger
>But you do look fucking badass
>One more leap, and you land on the familiar looking roof
>You open a hatch and slide down the metal ladder, while the hatchdoor swings closed above you with a clattering *bang*
>You walk down a hallway and enter a wide circular room, lit by a single candle in the middle of a circular wooden table in the middle of the room
>Hooded figures sit around the table, and you take an empty stool
"It is done"
>You lay your sack of goods on the table
>The hooded pony across the table empties the sack's contents and smiles
>"Good job human. these will fetch a fair price"
>You stare at the pile of dildos of various sizes
"Really?"
>"Yes Anonymous. Not yet. But soon"
>You are Anon. Master sex toy thief
1/6

>"Remind me, why're we doing this again?"
>The figure throws her hood backwards, revealing her pink mane
>"Because, i told you! If we steal everp0ny's sex toys, then they'll be a rare item, and we can sell them at a higher price!" says pinkie Pie
"You're just mad that you had to close down 'Kinky Pinkie's Sex Shop' because nop0ny would shop there"
>"Quiet! That's not it at all!It has always been my dream to create an order of thieves to steal sex toys!"
"And why're they here again?"
>You say, pointing to the other two hooded figures
>"Thy're trusted members here for their own personal gain. We do not question other's reasons. We're all here with the same goal in mind"
>Cherilee removes her hood
>"I used to be a petty thief back in college, then it became an addiction of mine. I would shoplift and pull off major heists just for the thrill"
>This is whos in charge of teaching P0nyville's youth?
>The other figure removes his hood, a white pony who looks like he snorts steroids
>"I just here for free dildos!"
>Well that's more information then you needed
"Right, so anyway, when and wheres our next raid?" you ask, turning to Pinkie Pie
>"Our next target is.....Big Macintosh"
"Big Mac? Why the hell would he have dildos"
>"Well, he's gay"
>"But that doesn't mean he actually has any dildos."
>White pone who lifts perks up at this
>"Trust me. He has dildos"
>You shudder at thinking how he knows this
2/6

>Day the next morning in Equestria
>You wake up, shit, shower and shave
>You walk downstairs and enjoy a nice bowl of Celestia cereal along with some Sunny-D
>Your breakfast is interrupted by the not-unusual knocking at your door
>You open it up to see Fluttershy standing there
"What, no weird fetish-guessing costume today?"
>"Nope. I don't need to know your fetish. You're just going to love me now"
"Oh yeah. And whys that?"
>"Because I know what you did last night"
>Shit.
>This could compromise your entire cockamamie mission
>Maybe shes just taking a stab in the dark
"Oh yeah? And what did I do last night?"
>"I saw you run off with all of Mayor mare's dildos in a burlap sack"
"That could've been anyp0ny"
>"You're the only human in Equestria"
>Damn, shes good
"Fine. Whadd'ya want from me?"
>"I want to join you."
>You're taken aback, and you begin to laugh
"Why?"
>"So we can um...spend time together"
"Have you ever even stolen anything?"
>"I've stolen your heart!"
"No. No you haven't"
3/6

>"Then you can teach me!"
>You ponder whether or not you really want to mentor Fluttershy in the art of sex toy thieving
>You don't really have a choice in the matter though, else she'll blow your whole operation
"Fine> But you're going to have to do exactly as I say"
>"Yay!"
"And no more fetish guessing."
>"Awww"
---------
>Its two hours later, and you and fluttershy hide behind some crates in P0nyville market
>After she admitted she'd never stole anything before, you decided she ought to practice before you introduced her to the group tonight
"Okay, now go up to Applejack's apple stand and steal me an apple."
>She looks at you in protest
>"But Applejack's my friend! I can't steal from her!"
"You're going to have to steal from a lot of unlucky ponies if you want to work with me. Unless, you want to quit while you're ahead...?"
>She gets a semi-stern look on her face
>"No. I'll do it"
"Good"
>You pick her up and throw her into the middle of the market, where she lands with a few skidding bumps
>You position your self so you'll be able to overhear their conversation
4/6

>"H-Hi Applejack"
>"Well howdy Fluttershy, how are you?"
>"F-fine"
>"Well that's good"
>Fluttershy just stands their
>She starts to visibly sweat, and starts gasping for air
>Apple pone notices
>"Er, Fluttershy, are you alright? You look a little flushed the-"
>Fluttershy freaks out
>"POCKET SAND!"
>She says as she somehow produces pockets and throws sand in Applejack's face
>Applejack starts coughing all over the place, and the apples get covered in sand
>The dust, er, sand clears, and Fluttershy is gone!
"Where the hell is she?"
>"Eep"
>You jump, startled, and see that Yellowmellow is right behind you
>She holds an apple in her hooves
"Fluttershy that....was actually not the worst thing I've ever seen. But c'mon, we gotta go get more practice. I'll teach you how to take stuff when they aren't looking rather then just distracting them."
5/6

>Be Anon
>Be the next night
>You and Fluttershy are jumping from rooftop to rooftop towards the secret lair's entrance
>Its really just Pinkie's room in sugarcube corner, but she makes it look like a lair
>You enter through the hatch and walk down the corridor and into the meeting chamber/bedroom
>Brothers and sisters, i've found a new member for our little organization
>Pinkie looks at Fluttershy with a sinister look
>"Good, good. But she will have to perform the rites of entrance. Newbie, are you ready?"
>"Y-yes" Fluttershy squeaks out, obviously scared of whats to come next.
>"Good. Lets begin"
>Cherilee and Snowflake begin to chant, while Pinkie says
>"Sweet Mother, sweet Mother, send your child unto me, for the sins of the unworthy must be baptized in blood and -"
"Pinkie, I don't think that's the right chant there.."
>Pinkie gets out a Bible
>"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"
>"Um, yes?"
>Pinkie hits Fluttershy with the Bible
>"NO! if you get caught, you do not tell the truth!"
>Fluttershy whimpers
>"Ok, no"
>"Good. Congratulations, you're now a member of the Kinky Kleptomaniacs Klan!"
>She hands Fluttershy her white robe and spooky ghost mask
>Cherilee and Snowflake stop chanting with an abrupt shout of "Sharkbait, HOO-AH-HAH"
>Just another day in the KKK
6/6
 End of part one. Part two coming out probably not for awhile since im camping w/o internet until sunday... Critque would be appreciated beings as i've been out of the game a while, but hope you guys enjoyed.