Kai - Today at 11:47 AM
Let me know when you get home tonight. I want to talk
Leah - Today at 12:56 PM
About?
Kai - Today at 12:59 PM
I don't know how to sum it up without going into the whole thing, but about us, to put it simply, us i guess
Leah - Today at 12:59 PM
Is there anything to talk about?
Kai - Today at 1:00 PM
Yes.
But I'm not going to get into it while I'm on my phone at work.
Leah - Today at 1:01 PM
I told you I didn't want to talk about it. This will be the last time.
Kai - Today at 1:01 PM
I know.
But i need this talk
When i finish work, I'll leave what i need to say and you can get back to me whenever
Leah - Today at 1:37 PM
K
Kai - Today at 2:02 PM
I'm sorry to be bringing it up again. I didn't want to, but i need this.
Leah - Today at 4:24 PM
I just don't see much of a point when there's nothing to talk about. Much less to be so fixated on it.
Kai - Today at 4:38 PM
It might seem that way for you.
But I need some closure.
I need to stop beating myself up about it and talking to you about it is the only way I'm going to do that.
I'm typing out what iw ant to say now but i'm going to preface it with this:
I want honesty. I don't want you to tell me what you think I need to hear, or whatever. I want complete honesty.
Leah - Today at 4:43 PM
That's not an issue.
Kai - Today at 4:44 PM
One of the biggest things that I've been worried and anxious about is whether what you told me what really all the reason you decided what you did. This isn't me still going on about the Cat thing - that was just a stupid little moment of anxiety, but I can't help but wonder if maybe you just stopped having the same feelings for me - or, if there's anything more to it. I need to know. If what you said really is all there is to it, then fine, I'm happy leaving it there.

But, really, the big thing that's been plaguing my mind is the fact that I just can't seem to get over you, no matter what I do. Seperating myself from you period is only going to make it worse, so instead, I'm just going to address it directly. Are you over me? Do you still have any feelings for me? Or are they a thing of the past now? I need to know, what I said aside, if I should just give up any hope of the life I hoped to have with you, or if maybe there's still some chance of that in the future - everything I said aside.
Leah - Today at 4:47 PM
I don't have those feelings for you anymore. I had thought I made that clear.
You said you would be fine the last time- about staying around me.
But this is something you've been thinking about for a while, isn't it?
You lied.
Kai - Today at 4:48 PM
I'm better off this way than the alternative.
Leah - Today at 4:49 PM
You're going to run yourself ragged this way. And you know it.
Kai - Today at 4:49 PM
No, I won't.
Leah - Today at 4:49 PM
Do not lie. If you're certain, then that's fine.
I won't be the cause of that type of stress.
Kai - Today at 4:50 PM
I'm not fine yet. This isn't something that is going to heal over quick.
I just don't understand what changed.
Just a short while ago you told me that you wanted to spend your life with me.
And now, you have no feelings for me at all?
I just don't get it.
Leah - Today at 4:52 PM
Neither do I. But it is what it is.
I'm not sure of when it stopped, but I can tell you I did alot of it when I shouldn't have.
I lied to you quite a bit.
Kai - Today at 4:53 PM
How long did you know?
Leah - Today at 4:54 PM
It crept up on me for a few months.
I tried making all those lofty promises to force it back.
I didn't want to not feel anything, if that's any consolation.
But what happened happened.
Now, knowing that.
Do you still want to try staying around me?
Kai - Today at 4:58 PM
I'm not going anywhere.(edited)
Leah - Today at 4:58 PM
Then I need you to not make anything of what happened again.
Kai - Today at 4:59 PM
I can promise you that I won't talk to you about it anymore.
Leah - Today at 4:59 PM
You've not been talking to anyone, have you? Other than outside people?
Kai - Today at 5:00 PM
Of course I've been talking to people.
I can't handle things like this alone.
The only thing that changed is the people I go to for support with it.
Leah - Today at 5:04 PM
You've not been involving anyone that doesn't need to know.
Have you?
Kai - Today at 5:04 PM
What does 'doesn't need to know' mean?
Do my friends not need to know what's going on in my life? My family?
Leah - Today at 5:09 PM
I knew you would confide in your friends. Those from that chat, like Brett etc. Your family, sure.
Kai - Today at 5:11 PM
If you're asking me if I'm running around telling everyone about every minute detail of what's going on, then no.
I'm not hiding that we're not together anymore.
If someone asks, I've been open about what.
What concern is it to you?
Leah - Today at 5:18 PM
I wanted this to stay quiet. That's my concern.
If they ask, then yes.
But I wanted to keep it to a minimum.
I've told nobody but people who asked.
Which have been few.
Kai - Today at 5:26 PM
No. I'm not going to stay quiet about this. I'm not going to pretend like this isn't something that happened and just go about my life like nothing's changed. The people who don't really mean anything to me? The people like my coworkers? I don't care if they don't know, but I'm not going to act like the person I thought I'd be spending my life with didn't leave me. You should have known that letting it go on like this would only make it worse and worse on me when it happened! If you wanted it to stay quiet when you knew you started feeling like it, take a break, but leave everyone else out of it, I would have taken it! I wouldn't have complained.
Sure, I still love you! Hell, even with what you said, so many parts of me are convincing myself that maybe it'll work out in the end, but I'm not going to act like this isn't something that happened.
I'm not going to act like it didn't hurt.
Leah - Today at 5:30 PM
Fine.
I still think the right choice is to cut yourself off from me until you're fully over it.
And if this happens again, I will insist.
Kai - Today at 5:35 PM
It won't.
I didn't get the closure I was looking for, but I got plenty.
Leah - Today at 5:37 PM
I don't quite know what you were expecting, but I'm glad you got something out of it.